“Is mayonaisse an instrument?”
“No Patrick, mayonaisse is not and instrument…. and that’ll be $0.38.”

“Why is it thirty-eight cents?”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”
“Wait! Are you charging me already?”
“That will be seventy-six cents.”
“How is that a stupid question?”
“That will be one dollar and fourteen cents.”
“But, I …”
“…”
(Sigh)“Is the sales tax included?”
“That will be one dollar and …”
“Nevermind. Here’s five dollars. Keep the change.”

(Another route)
“How do you charge people for stupid questions?”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”
“Wait a second. I’m being charged for asking stupid questions. That doesn’t make sense. It is a menu item. When I ask for the coleslaw, you give me the coleslaw and I give you money. So, why are you charging me when I’m giving you the stupid question?”
“Alright, sir. Would you like to order the stupid question?”
“Sure. I’m curious to find out what I get for thirty-eight cents.”
“Why would you pay someone thirty-eight cents to hear them ask a question?”
“…”
“That will be thirty-eight cents.”