4chan - The Worst Movie Idea

Calvin convinces the monsters to give up their plans if he can beat them in a game of Calvinball. Cue wacky hijinks. Cue at least three people in the audience silently weeping as their childhood is raped on-screen. Calvin wins Calvinball with the help of Susie, who is great at it for no adequately explored reason. She gives him a smooch on the cheek at the end and Calvin's eyes turn into little hearts. Calvin's dad thanks him and is uncharacteristically loving and thankful to him.
"I guess you were right about those monsters all along!" says Calvin's dad. "Yeah, but I don't think we'll have to be worrying about them anymore," says Calvin. They all go home. In the last seconds of the movie, Calvin is in bed again. Another tentacle slithers across the bedroom floor-is it monsters? No, this time it's Aliens! Calvin grabs his ray-gun as he says "You ready for this Hobbes?" Hobbes gives an eye-roll that turns into a happy grin right before the credits roll. The film is dedicated to Bill Watterson, who recently, unexpectedly committed suicide.

TL;DR-Unclimatic movie version of a week-long series of a 4-panel comic strip.

The movie begins with a night-shot of Calvin in bed, in extremely shitty, poorly funded CGI style. The animation tries to mimic the art style of the comic, but just ends up making him look like a muppet. We see a tentacle crawl out slowly from under the bed. Calvin, instead of being afraid like he is in the comic, dons his spaceman spiff outfit with the encouragement of Hobbes. They get involved in a plot against the monsters under his bed, which travel through a vast network of portals connected to other beds. It turns out that oh gosh, monsters are infiltrating the human world – and if Calvin doesn’t do something about it, his dad is gonna get fired! Susie overhears them talking about it and forces her way onto the group despite Calvin’s protest because she wants to help people. Cue scene of Susie taking out five monsters with martial arts despite being fucking six years old because HAW HAW ACTION GRRL POWER Y’ALL. Cue hamhanded tributes to every possible Calvin and Hobbes trope, including sled rides and wagon rides that end with slow-motion crashes with all the characters making goofy faces. Cue scene of Calvin’s parents freaking out about Calvin missing, with his mom shouting panicked into a phone – “WHERE’S CALVIN?” (great clip for the trailer, by the way.) In the end, we find out the greedy corporate fatcats that just bought out Calvin’s dad’s company were the monsters making their bid for global domination. (1/2)