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Waffle House Millionaire 04/21/11(Thu)02:06 No. 14665112 >Play 3.5 D&D >Everyone has decided to roll up monks. sWe didn't plan this out, we all showed up with insane kung-fu back-stories, school names, etc. >DM quietly puts away the notes for the game he had been planning sWe start out in a noodle-shop. >Two Monks, one LG, one LE are arguing about the best use of the power bestowed by mastery of Kung-Fu. >The good one says that kung-fu shows that we all have a place in life. >The Evil one believes that kung-fu masters should rest at the top. >My character is a drunken master, CN (DM fiat) >Saunter over to table >Soon joined by the other guy. LN. sWe can't agree on anything. >Finally say something that lets us stop the philosophic debate. We should decide this like warriors." sinitiative rolled >Ones all around. sEvil dude goes first, by virtue of the improved initiative feat. >Attempts to flip table aside dramatically >Rolls a two. >Having hurt his hand, he decides a flying kick over the table would be better. srolls acrobatics and attack >Foot catches side of table, falls onto chair, and flips over backwards sl throw my saki the the good dude. >He catches it and throws it back. >It breaks on my face >l kick table, breaking it in half >The lantern on the table falls over on me and I go jump in the decorative pond outside to put myself out >The good and the neutral monk stare each-other down. >The good one attempts to punch him. one, two one >Trips over table, dislocates own arm. >Neutral guy does a back-flip out of the way >rolls acrobatics, one for the jump, one for the landing. >18, 3 >Crashes into nearby empty table, knocks himself out. >This all took slightly less than six seconds. >Noodle store guy yells at us for wrecking his shop.

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File : 1285640447.jpg-(529 KB, 1024x762, 4654992908_4d5f391841_b.jpg) O LegoSpace The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)22:20 No.12248169 FTL drive was always problematic, until Brik Theory was solidified. By envisioning the very fabric of reality as a series of interconnected bricks, which could be separated and immediately plugged back together, scientists were able to create a jump drive that worked by threading ships briefly through a nearby, mostly-empty dimension. Efficient. Quick. Safe, even within close proximity to planets. Surprisingly easy to maintain. The brik drive ushered in a new era of space exploration, and a joint project between several countries - the Futron Project. The moon bases were set up within months, complete with a top-of-the-line monorail connecting them, and the Mars base was fast-tracked. Then came Blacktron Enterprises. The company stole the secrets of the brik drive in pieces - bits from NASA, from Roscosmos, and - mostly - from the Chinese, who had already managed to piece together more than half the drive through their own security networks. Setting their sights on more distant goals, they started flooding nearby solar systems, setting claim to as many Class M planets as they could. Vessels from the Futron Project that entered Blacktron space were invariably raided for supplies, and usually taken captive, under the pretense that the Futron ships were "illegal invaders". When action was set to be taken against Blacktron, they responded by abandoning their corporate HQ on Earth, and relocating to Tau Centauri. This action prompted the creation of the Universal Code of Law, and the Space Police. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)22:30 No.12248270 File1285641039.jpg-(352 KB, 1024x824, 4568072707_b695a464e4_b.jpg) >>12248169 The UCL was essentially maritime law applied to space travel, and was surprisingly straightforward for a committee-created code. As a result, the Space Police had a fairly easy time of their original duties - escorting Futron Project ships, protecting them from Blacktron raiders, and investigating criminal offenses that occurred on vessels - offenses that were, thankfully, rare in those days. After the raids became more blatant, and Blacktron vessels began raiding FP outposts directly, the Corporate Accord was passed, allowing the FP to treat Blacktron as a national body instead of merely a corporation. This allowed them to begin taking out Blacktron bases, declaring war on them officially. It also cleared the way for more corporations to legitimately take to the stars, and to found their own colonies, assured that in doing so they would be recognized by the vague terms of the Corporate Accord as national bodies themselves. The first was the Japanese MTron corporation, previously a leading company in robotics, who had fallen into financial problems in recent years. Funded by an influx of would-be colonists, they set themselves up as the first formally-recognized commercial cargo vessels to use the brik drive, as well as the first publicly-accessible interstellar flights. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)22:45 No.12248422 File1285641908.jpg-(170 KB, 1024x721, 4755641811_9195c6b34d_b.jpg) >>12248270 At first, the MTron vessels were merely used as an auxiliary for Futron Project resources, as well as for tourist trade on their own colonies; they refused to service Blacktron colonies. The extra cargo capabilities were welcomed during what was technically wartime, and helped the resource-stretched Space Police to slowly overwhelm Blacktron forces. It wasn't until the next corporation stretched its wings outward that the Blacktron threat was nullified, however. The Tienshan Mining Group had colonized the recently-discovered M-Class planet Krysto, and was busily working at mining the planet - not only for the amazingly versatile substance Orangium, an isotope that was quickly built into their own tools and adopted by large slices of the galaxy as a power source, but also for water. Krysto was a world with two frigid, but inhabitable, poles, a tiny temperate zone, and a vast swath of uninhabitable volcanic belts about its equator. The result was a planet buffeted by constant, violent snowfall. This was also Blacktron's last temptation. Attempting to secure the Orangium mines as a way to boost their steadily-crumbling production, the Blaktron forces did not realize that A) they had committed far too much of their resources to the invasion, B) their vessels, which were specialized for space travel, would have issues icing up in the moisture-laden atmosphere, and C) the Space Police had already gotten word of their plans. The defeat was crushing; within the year, only a few distant outposts were still controlled by Blacktron forces, all of which were cut off from each other, and considered widely to be little more than bandits. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:03 No.12248631 File1285642983.jpg-(222 KB, 800x569, display.cgi (1).jpg) >>12248422 After this, there was a massive influx of new groups seeking their fortune in the stars. The UK-based Unitron and Franco-Italian Exploriens began setting down roots, as did the Canadian-based Spyrius Corporation - which unabashedly admitted to stealing the brik drive, and most of their technology, instead of developing it themselves, pointing to the legacy of Apple and Microsoft. It was at this time that the aliens made themselves known. The first two examples of first contact were nearly concurrent. First, a ship emerging from brikspace was followed - and destroyed - by a sleek vessel with a half-disk shaped front end. A message transmitted from the hostile ship took nearly a year to decode, but stated in essence that further incursions into their space - the dimension that brik drive accessed - would not be tolerated. The Insectoids proved to be much more amicable to human presence. The initial contact, made by the Exploriens, proved that at least one race out there in the galaxy was intelligent and - more importantly - didn't want to kill us. A nonagression pact was quickly hammered out, languages shared, and in the wake of the struggle against the UFOS from Brikspace, the queen of the Insectoid people gifted the collective factions of humanity with information on a propulsion system that would allow us to pass through Brikspace without being detected by "The Aggressors". It worked - seemingly. The incursions from the transdimensional entities became far more sporadic, and easier to deal with. However, the new drive slowed travel considerably; its maximum speed was less than half that of the previous brik drive. And, in a twist that conspiracy theorists claim is far worse than the previous invasions, the queen now claimed that mankind owed them a favor - one she would collect on if she ever needed it. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:12 No.12248727 >>12248631 From that point on, travel further from Earth resulted in contact with countless alien species. Mankind has proliferated among the stars, always going outwards, always seeking the next frontier. The Space Police are still around, although their aim has become more domestic, as the colony worlds have become less like scientific outposts and more like any other city on any other planet. Each of the other factions mentioned has remained, in some form... The Futron Project is still responsible for most near-Earth settlements, including the Mars base. They were the ones responsible for discovering the long-dormant Martian civilizations that rested beneath the dusty soil, and for sharing the brik drive with our neighbors - although the Martians have declined to use it so far, more than content with their self-sufficient communities. Futron Project vessels tend to be mostly scientific affairs, with top-of-the-line sensor arrays and onboard labs, although lightly armed. Their only agendas are exploration, and furthering diplomacy with extraterrestrial entities. However, the Futron Project has been slammed as being a "humans only" club, and even their spinoff peacekeeping force, the Space Police, has been criticized for anti-alien prejudices. The FP is on excellent terms with Unitron. They deal extensively with MTron, but consider their commercial leanings to be a detriment to their focus. They do not trust Spyrius, and avoid them whenever possible. Blacktron forces are under a shoot-on-sight order. Exploriens is viewed as a rival more than an ally, mostly because of their close connection to the barely-trusted Insectoids. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:22 No.12248845 >>12248727 Unitron is considered by many to be the fringe-world equivalent of the Futron Project, and thať's not too far off. Their cities tend to be a bit more stark and utilitarian than the Futron equivalents, with security cameras monitoring every square inch of public space. They tend to be a better-armed people than the Futron Project, and have heavily armored their vessels, so that most light assaults are futile; this has significantly lessened their reliance on the Space Police, to the point where their own colonial security forces can handle most problems that arise. Likewise, their manufacturing and mining divisions - which are widespread and highly profitable - are run with a keen eye to oversight and zero tolerance for corruption or laziness. They are far more suspicious of extraterrestrials, as the first contact with "The Aggressors" resulted in the destruction of one of their colony vessels; any nonhuman living in a Unitron colony is essentially treated as a second-class citizen. Unitron is on excellent terms with the FP, although they are wary of what they consider to be pro-alien sentiments running through their ranks. They are outrightly hostile towards the "Xeno-loving freaks" of Exploriens. Spyrius gets a bit more respect in their eyes, as at least those blokes are trying to earn a living, and doing it without shooting at people (if they can help it). MTron, likewise, is viewed with admiration and respect, though the tourism angle pushed by MTron colonies raises a few eyebrows among their ranks. Blacktron are nothing but common criminals and are to be treated as such, though they're surely no threat anymore, and the Insectoids... creepy little buggers... well, let's just say that if anything is to happen to one of their vessels in Unitron space, they wouldn't complain. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:33 No.12248953 >>12248845 Exploriens has filled large sections of the fringe, their name saying it all; the corporation is almost insatiably curious and xenophilic. They have a limited R&D department, mostly dedicated to adaptation and improvement of alien technology they discover and/or trade for, which has made their vessels some of the most distinctive, and - to outsiders - difficult to operate in known space. An Exploriens ship may have an Insectoid Orangium power cell, Squidfolk inertial dampeners, and a Silicin-designed computer bank. Their colonies are set up as immense trading posts, with nominal tariffs making another decent chunk of their profit margin. The Exploriens are on good terms with the FP, although they wish they'd just stop whining about the Insectoids and see that people are people, even if they're chitinous and cybernetic. They are on outstanding terms with the Insectoids, having nearly won over the inwardly-driven, isolationist people. They are on poor footing with Unitron, and are not seeking to improve things with the "backwards, provincial bigots". MTron is just another company to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, and while they are not hostile towards them, they have to wonder about a company that treats this new frontier in such a menial way. They are openly hostile towards Spyrius, as trading and refining alien tech that they've traded for legitimately is a main source of income for them, and they're not fond of those that would steal it. Oddly, they have little problem with the straggler Blacktron colonies - as long as they stay in their own corner of the galaxy. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:43 No.12249031 >>12248953 MTron is all about two things: Service, and style! They see no reason why the wonders of space shouldn't be available to the public at large, and likewise don't see why it shouldn't be as comfortable as possible - as long as they're willing to pay for it. To that end, MTron colonies are heavily urbanized, high-tech wonderlands that are aimed at tourists as much as colonists. MTron vessels have vast cargo holds, reflecting well their status as a middleman, dealing with anyone with a pocketbook to be opened. They also tend to be sluggish and oversized... while the colonies are practically pieces of art, the vessels MTron uses are almost universally worn, fidgety, and substandard in capability. They're reliable - almost supernaturally so, for things held together by spit and duct tape, and you'd never know they were in such shape if you were to ride on one as a passenger - but most other vessels can fly rings around an MTron ship. MTron trades openly with the Exploriens, the Futron Project, and Unitron, figuring that their credits spend as well as anyone's - and besides, all that political crap they're having problems with will wash out eventually. They consider Spyrius to be a competing company, but will ally with them readily if the proper contracts are in place. They will even service Blacktron colonies, as long as they've got some backup and a loaded ion cannon. The Insectoids, however, don't seem to be affected by the power of positive marketing, and want nothing to do with MTron... possibly owing to a diplomatic error in their early negotiations. O The Goddamn Duck 09/27/10(Mon)23:55 No.12249139 >>12249031 Spyrius. The universe's greatest hackers, programmers, and data-traders. If it's out there, they want to know about it, and to hell with restrictions. They consider themselves to be the last true gentleman pirates in an age where DRM is almost mandatory, where someone'll shoot you for just memorizing a blueprint. They're not bandits - they're bon vivants, rebels making a statement, and making a profit at the same time! Their colonies tend to be arcologies, tight tunnels of winding passages with visible wiring and access ports for easy maintenance. Not exactly welcoming, but it's quite easy to live there - as long as you know a little something about basic electronics and engineering. Most of their colonies serve as listening posts. Their ships are decently armed, lightly armored, and VERY maneuverable. The saucer-shaped vessels have been upgraded steadily since they cracked Aggressor ships, making them some of the quickest, most annoying ships out there. Don't expect anything larger than a light freighter, though. few scans of Spyrius is on questionable terms with the FP. They can get along beautifully, as long as Spyrius doesn't let on just how much they know about their hidden files. They deal openly with Unitron, and like their funds just fine - if only they didn't have their heads up their rear ends as far as aliens go. There's a fine line between healthy paranoia and idiocy. They aren't on good terms with the Exploriens, but are fascinated by their discoveries. Blacktron is nothing more than a bunch of idiot bullies, the sort of people that beat them up in school - the sort of people they take no small delight in shooting down. MTron is just too glossy on the surface, with nothing worthwhile beneath - they can deal with them, but only if there's something in it for them. And the Insectoids? They don't know what to make of them, but they have such wonderful toys! O The Goddamn Duck 09/28/10(Tue)00:04 No.12249202 >>12249139 The Insectoids are by far the largest alien empire that the factions of man has discovered. Encompassing no less than 300 hive planets, they are a people that are content. They have ceased explorations, conquests, and all external activity, focusing inward, on improving their own lives. Supported by genetic therapy and cybernetics, the average Insectoid lives to be over 300 years old, and may hit 400 if she's lucky. The only thing that has pulled the quasi-bugfolk out of their introverted state has been humans - such a varied, contradictory bunch! The Insectoids are fascinated by them, for a variety of reasons, including the fact that their history and philosophies are so closely mirrored. The Insectoids are on excellent terms with the Exploriens, whose curiosity is infectious to them, and nostalgic of their own first steps into space. They admire the productive drive of Unitron - if only they weren't so shortsighted. The FP are much like themselves in agenda and drive, and easy to negot with. MTron are children playing with toys they do not understand, and do nothing to contribute to the greater good. The fools of Spyrius are not much better - but at least they have a philosophy to guide them, even if it is a laughably simplistic one. And Blacktron is to be pitied, a broken people, waiting for death to finally take their society. O The Goddamn Duck 09/28/10(Tue)00:16 No.12249309 >>12249202 In their cold, cold bases, the people of Blacktron see themselves as a proud group of warriors. The first to break from Earth's tightly-controlled regiments. The first to seek their fortune in space, free of the countries that would hold them back. The first to defy Terran rule! They bite their tongues back at the thought at being the first to fail - they are still alive, after all, and still waiting for their time to rise. Blacktron colonies are military camps, where harsh conditions and cloning spit out some of the most conditioned, perfectly-trained soldiers of all time. However, they are poorly equipped - while their ships are certainly nothing to laugh at, having picked up bits and pieces of key technology in their raids over the years, their designs keenly focused on power and speed, they are still behind the times, and short on numbers compared to their foes. Blacktron considers FP to be the great enemy, to be destroyed at any cost. Unitron are a militant branch of the FP, and are to fall in short order after their primary foe is gone. The Exploriens are dreamers who are trying to find their own way in the galaxy, even if that way is naive and ignoble, and are to be left alone. Spyrius has such potential - if only they would stop snatching at the purse-strings of the foes and strike at their faces! MTron is but a tool, point, and will join Blacktron when the time comes, or they are an obstacle, to be blocked off from their enemies long enough to take them out. Time will tell which it is. neutral party to purchase the tools needed for their eventual rise to power. And the Insectoids are an unknown quantity. Either they will be a turning O The Goddamn Duck 09/28/10(Tue)01:17 No.12249853 >>12249765 The so-called "Robo Force" has set up shop on Titan, and is quite content to stay there. A group of engineers and obsessive hobbyists, the RF's goal is nothing less than advancing robotic technology until they can create a full-scale, fully functional Gundam (or Megazord, or what-have-you. Different geeks, different goal, same broad stroke). They have had some luck with smaller-scale robots - about the size of a tank - but they still lack the resources to manage anything larger with any success. Most of their creations are sold off to be used for mercenary work or for entertainment - at least one of their robots was a centerpiece in a major Bollywood sci-fi holo released last year. While not formally allied or shunned by any group, rumors have begun to circulate that the RF was actually commissioned by Blacktron to build a new line of crawlers for them. They deny such claims vigorously... but then, surveillance shots of their newest work have raised a few eyebrows. O The Goddamn Duck 09/28/10(Tue)14:59 No.12254840 File1285700351.jpg-(75 KB, 777x635, 4460085527_6cfe221f5c_o.jpg) COMMON TECHNOLOGY -Brik Drive- All but ubiquitous, the brik drive works on Quantum Brik Tunnel technology; in an instant, the drive "takes apart" the building blocks of reality, shifts the ship sideways through said hole, and repairs the hole. Thanks to the Insectoids, the new drives allow ships moving through the "other space" without attracting the attention of the native species, via keeping them partially in phase with their home dimension. A brik drive jump can allow a ship to travel from Earth to Pluto in less than an hour. The drives typically use refined Orangium discs as a power source, but other energy supplies do exist. -lon Drive- The chosen sub-light drive of most of the galaxy, ion drive is cheap, reliable, and incredibly compact. An ion drive propulsion unit the size of a frisbee is sufficient to move a ship the size of a VW Bug. Most ships, however, use multiple ion pads for maneuverability's sake, or - in the case of fighters - potent ion turbines, which also provide a secondary power source for shielding units and weaponry. -MagDrive- MTron ships use their own proprietary sublight drives. Close examination has shown that they use potent magnetic fields, but how that works in the void of space has never been determined exactly. The drives are closely guarded knowledge, and - while inferior in most regards - are far superior as far as energy consumption, taking next to no energy to use. For now, this presumably magnetic drive system appears almost... miraculous. O The Goddamn Duck 09/28/10(Tue)15:12 No.12254926 >>12254840 -Weaponry- If one was to catalogue every piece of weaponry found on every ship in the known galaxy, the list would be several hundred pages long. There are countless known starship weapon systems, most of them existing in multiple distinct subtypes. The most commonly used weapons include railguns, ion cannons, masers, torpedoes, and a few solid-shell weapons. -Shields- Shielding technology remains fairly consistent through the various factions. Quantum force fields are either projected in a bubble from the ship via external emitters, or on the surface of the ship's armor through an internal emitter web. The former is prized because it gives a bit of leeway for the ship to escape damage if a sufficiently large explosion were to damage the shields, and the latter because in saving energy on projecting the shield outward, it is possible to strengthen the shield greatly.

> O Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)08:56:11 No.43945056 >>43949991 >>43944899 (OP) I had a squad of Imperial Guard, lead by a Commissar, versus Necrons. After most of my squad was murdered by Gauss fire from the Immortals, the squad rolled a morale check and failed. Now, there were only two units left. The Commissar, and a quardsman. The Commissar's special rule kicked in, and he shot the Guardsman in the face..Then charged the Necron lines alone. To his credit, he took out two Immortals with his power sword before he went down. 7 Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)16:13:14 No.43949991 ► >>43958477 File: 1418489190054.jpg (103 KB, 524x492) exhentai >>43945056 >squad broken due to too many casualties >shoots last surviving member of the squad >squad morale restored O Anonymous 12/02/15(Wed)23:38:40 No.43958477 ► >>43959844 >>43949991 ># of Guardsmen with poor morale: 0

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/tg/ - The noodle incident - 3.5th edition

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Waffle House Millionaire 04/21/11(Thu)02:06 No. 14665112 >Play 3.5 D&D >Everyone has decided to roll up monks. sWe didn't plan this out, we all showed up with insane kung-fu back-stories, school names, etc. >DM quietly puts away the notes for the game he had been planning sWe start out in a noodle-shop. >Two Monks, one LG, one LE are arguing about the best use of the power bestowed by mastery of Kung-Fu. >The good one says that kung-fu shows that we all have a place in life. >The Evil one believes that kung-fu masters should rest at the top. >My character is a drunken master, CN (DM fiat) >Saunter over to table >Soon joined by the other guy. LN. sWe can't agree on anything. >Finally say something that lets us stop the philosophic debate. We should decide this like warriors." sinitiative rolled >Ones all around. sEvil dude goes first, by virtue of the improved initiative feat. >Attempts to flip table aside dramatically >Rolls a two. >Having hurt his hand, he decides a flying kick over the table would be better. srolls acrobatics and attack >Foot catches side of table, falls onto chair, and flips over backwards sl throw my saki the the good dude. >He catches it and throws it back. >It breaks on my face >l kick table, breaking it in half >The lantern on the table falls over on me and I go jump in the decorative pond outside to put myself out >The good and the neutral monk stare each-other down. >The good one attempts to punch him. one, two one >Trips over table, dislocates own arm. >Neutral guy does a back-flip out of the way >rolls acrobatics, one for the jump, one for the landing. >18, 3 >Crashes into nearby empty table, knocks himself out. >This all took slightly less than six seconds. >Noodle store guy yells at us for wrecking his shop.

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A Furry

A Furry

Aug 02, 2014 at 10:49AM EDT

What an unfortunate turn of events.
It's like they were all cast with unbelievably bad luck.

+22

MIMU

MIMU

Aug 02, 2014 at 11:04PM EDT

If this is the start of the campaign, I don't imagine that it lasted much longer…but I would've liked to have seen it anyways.

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It's stuff like this that makes me want to learn how to play D&D.

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