Konbini/Convenience Store (コンビニ)
About
Konbini / Convenience Store is a flash MAD meme based on a popular song named “Konbini” by the Japanese folk duo “Briefs & Trunk” (aka British Tiger)[1]. While each version has it’s own unique touches, they all follow the story of making a late night trip to a local 24 hour convenience store.
Origins
The first MAD video[2] of the original song and M/V surfaced on Nico Nico Douga in February 2008. Other derivatives and remix videos that followed suit typically involve popular characters from anime/manga and video games acting out the narrative lyrics.
Konbini Culture in Japan
Typical interior view of a Japanese Konbini store
To better appreciate the humor behind the song, it should be noted that chain convenience stores are an integral part of everyday life across Japan. In contrast to convenience stores in the US, most Japanese Konbinis tend to serve as a local hub providing a broad range of services, from courier/postal service and photocopying to buying airline/concert tickets and paying utilities & taxes.
Konbini Speed Run
Aside from the cutesy folk tribute to local convenience stores, some of the more hardcore patrons of Nico Nico Douga also play an IRL game called Konbini RTA (speed race)[3], which involves measuring the time it takes to make a roundtrip from one’s home to the nearest convenience store. The first Konbini RTA ever measured was 2 min. 30 sec (Sept. 7th, 2003) and the current world record stands at 1 min. 18 sec (Sept. 7th, 2007).
Plot
1. Character is bored at night;
2. Character sneaks out of the house to go to a convenience store;
3. On the way to the store, character encounters thugs;
4. While at the store, character sees an old man reading porn;
5. Character buys meat buns;
6. Character gets angry at clerk for placing receipt under change.
7. Character causes trouble for the clerk by being a difficult customer.
8. Character gets home before dawn.
Lyrics
| saa oya ga neta kara nande mo yaritai houdai yo nani wo shiyou? yonaka ja tomodachi neteru shi TEREBI mo sude ni suna arashi sou da wa! KONBINI ikou ka na! nijuu yo jikan (konbinien sutoa) nenjuu mukyuu no (konbinien sutoa) bouhan KAMERA (konbinien sutoa) kochira atatamemasu ka? (konbinien sutoa) furyou no tamari ba (iriguchi de tamuro) kowakute hainikui (iriguchi de tamuro) koe kakerareta (soko no oneechan) na-na-na nandesuka? (NOO BURA desu ka?) saa furyou wo sugireba jidou doa ga watashi no tame ni hiraite kureru ERO hon yonderu oyaji to narande zasshi yonde kara nani wo kai ni kita wake ja nai kedo kau mono wo sagasu nijuu yo jikan (konbinien sutoa) nenjuu mukyuu no (konbinien sutoa) koukyou ryoukin (konbinien sutoa) KOPII hayaku shite yo (konbinien sutoa) muguchi na ARUBAITO (shikamo muhyoujou) watashi wa SUPPIN (mayuge mo kakazu ni) ANPAN kudasai (choudou kiretemasu) jaa nikuman de ii wa (kashikomarimashita) chotto otsuri no watashi gata watashi no te no hira katte ni tsukai kozeni wo bunchin kawari ni RESHIITO okuna SAIFU ni irenikui no yo chotto MUKA to shichau no yo sonna toki wa watashi kara mo shikaeshi suru no ODEN kudasai (nani ni shimasu ka?) eto eto (nani ni shimasu ka?) eto eto (REJI ga kondekita) eto eto (hayaku kimete kure) tamago kudasai (tamago hitotsu) tamago kudasai (tamago futatsu) tamago kudasai (tamago mitsu) ijou de ii wa (tamago dake desu ka?) otsuyu oome ni (kashikomarimashita) oikura desu ka? (ni hyaku ni ju en desu) ichiman en kara (kozeni wa nee no ka yo?) ichiman en kara (kozeni wa nee no ka yo?) KARASHI tsukete yo (kashikomarimashita) RESHIITO iranai wa (ichi ichi URUSEE na) TOIRE wo kashite yo (UCHI ni wa arimasen) anata wa doko de suru no yo? (makemashita) nante koto shiteiru uchi ni yoru wa mou owari wo tsugete NIWATORI mo naku oya ga okiru mae ni ouchi ni kaeranakya YABAI konya mo mata KONBINI koyou ka na~ Let’s go to convenience store! Let’s go to convenience store! Let’s go to convenience store! | Well now, my parents have fallen asleep I can do whatever that I want What should I do? It’s midnight so my friends are asleep And the TV’s showing nothing but static I know! I’ll go to the convenience store! 24 hours (Convenience store) Open all year (Convenience store) Security cameras (Convenience store) Shall I warm this up for you? (Convenience store) Gathering place for punks (Gather at the entrance) I’m too scared to go in (Gather at the entrance) They called out to me (Hey there, miss) Y-y-yes?! (Are you bra-less?) Now, that I’ve walked past the delinquents The automatic door slides open for me I stand next to an old man reading porn As I browse at the magazine stand Though I’m not here to buy anything at all I’ll go find something to buy 24 hours (Convenience store) Open all year (Convenience store) Public utility bills (Convenience store) Hurry up with the photocopies (Convenience store) Silent part-timer (With a blank look on his face) I have no make-up (With drawn-on eyebrows, too) Red bean paste bun, please (We’ve just run out) I’ll have a meat bun, then (Coming right up) Hold on there, the way you hand me change Onto the palm of my hand, any way you please Piled up like a receipt paperweight It’s difficult to put into my wallet It really annoys me When that happens, I’ll want to get my revenge Oden, please. (What would you like in it?) Um, um, (What would you like in it?) Um, um, (you’re holding up the line) Um, um, (hurry up and decide) An egg, please (One egg) An egg, please (Two eggs) An egg, please (Three eggs) That will be all (Just eggs?) I want more broth (Coming right up) How much is it? (220 yen) Here’s ten thousand yen (Don’t you have change?) Here’s ten thousand yen (Don’t you have change?) Add mustard! (Coming right up) I don’t need a receipt (Shut up already) I want to use your restroom (We don’t have one) Where do you do you go, then? (You got me…) While I’m doing all these It’s the end of the night The rooster crows Before my parents wake up I must go home or else I’m doomed Maybe I’ll go to the convenience store again tonight Let’s go to convenience store! Let’s go to convenience store! Let’s go to convenience store! |
External References
[1] YouTube -- ブリーフ＆トランクス コンビニ / Uploaded on 3-29-2007
[2] Nico Nico Douga -- 【MAD】東方でコンビニ【ブリトラ】 / Uploaded on 2-16-2008
[3] Google Translate – Nico Nico Pedia -- Konbini RTA
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