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“I put on my robe and wizard hat” is usually spoken as a preface to either an attempt to troll someone soliciting cybersex, or in general any sort of sexual activity. Its use is extremely difficult to understand outside the context of the original incident from which it spawned.
During or before September of 2002 (the exact date this incident took place is unconfirmed), an early internet troll bloodninja made a name for himself in IRC chat rooms for cybersex. The line came about during his most famous encounter with an unsuspecting user BritneySpears14. The conversation follows:
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don’t see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don’t ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik’s evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it’s getting hard now.
It is worth noting that the Urban Dictionary article for “bloodninja” seems to dispute this origin. One definition listed therein claims that all “bloodninja” conversations originated from the website Fugly.com and their staff. This question was asked directly of the Fugly.com staff, but no response was received.
Another recent tip has suggested this meme was originated by one “Dr. Ninjaforkian” on a forum associated with Pitchforkmedia. In this version of events the chat logs are identical, but the name bloodninja is replaced with J-Dogg. This allegation is unconfirmed.
Due to this meme’s age, it has not enjoyed much popularity in the form of photoshops or videos, but is mostly spread through offhand references and text. One notable example of a recent reference occurred in xkcd.
Many people have sought to mimic bloodninja’s style. Some of these attempts, along with the original bloodninja’s transcripts, can be found here.