Clickbait - How to Catch fish

"Dad, I thought the clickbait was intended be used on the fish, not me!"

"But son, that's what I meant. You're actually part-fish."

"Woah, really?!"

"I told you it would shock you."

"Wow, man, I can't believe I'm part-fish…Does this mean that Mom was U-"

"Actually, I was lying."

"Wait, what? Why?!"

"Because lies are the foundation of clickbait, son!"

"Okay, I get that clickbait has lies in it, but did you really have to lie to your own son? I mean, don't you have any standards, Dad?"

"Son, please, I'm a clickbaiter; I have no standards. Besides, it wasn't all lies."

"Really?"

(Cont.)

"Yeah, some of it was just stretched truth! Like how I told you that 'what happens next [would] shock you;' indeed, it shocked you, but being told something and having something happen to you are two completely different things."

"Oh. And the concept of a father telling his son a grave secret he's been keeping from him his whole life was just another clickbait ploy, because people love dramatic family stories?"

"Well, actually, no. That was just a coincidence. If that part was indeed another clickbait scam, then we would've made a huge deal out of it to attract viewers, rather than hide under the guise of a simple father-son bonding activity."

"O-Okay…But if you weren't lying for clickbait, then why'd you lie to me?"

"Well, it's simple, son. To demonstrate- Oh shit! I think I caught a fish!"

"Seriously? Well, reel it in!"

the father reels in the fish, only to reveal that said fish is Johnny Elaine: the realistic talking fish-head from SpongeBob, who proceeds to use this whole situation as his new news story

"THIS JUST IN. FATHER LIES TO SON. IN OTHER NEWS, WATER IS LIQUID. MORE AT 13."

"…"