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Anon isn't making shit up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E ) + 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how “chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like I just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pT) 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF
: Anonymous (ID: Dlek3b1E ) + 10/02/17(Mon)06:34:57 No.143698450 >Another witness, speaking to ABC News, described how “chaotic" the scene was as the incident unfolded. >"It kind of sounded first like loud clapping coming off and then I think there was the first volley [of shots] 25 KB JPG and all of a sudden a second volley and my buddy's like I just got hit'. First we had no idea what was happening we thought people were just clapping extremely hard and we joined the clapping H-------- I wish I was making this up : Anonymous (ID: fcJ+pT) 10/02/17(Mon)06:36:33 No.143698620 >be American >get shot >start clapping >everyone else claps too 44 KB GIF

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Anon is Dumbledore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:00:25 No.14520892 >Well done Slytherin, well done indeed... >> Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:00:53 No.14520 >>145208924 (OP) >H Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:01:58 No.145209004 >>145209053 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145208953 >0 Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:03:23 No.145209053 >>145209131 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145209004 >W Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:05:10 No.145209131 >>145209156 >>145209258 >>145209347 >14 >>145209053 >E Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:05:44 No.145209156 >>145209177 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145209131 >V Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:06:15 No.145209177 >>145209208 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14: >>145209156 >E D Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:06:47 No.145209208 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>145209831 >>145 >>145209177 >R
Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:00:25 No.14520892 >Well done Slytherin, well done indeed... >> Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:00:53 No.14520 >>145208924 (OP) >H Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:01:58 No.145209004 >>145209053 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145208953 >0 Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:03:23 No.145209053 >>145209131 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145209004 >W Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:05:10 No.145209131 >>145209156 >>145209258 >>145209347 >14 >>145209053 >E Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:05:44 No.145209156 >>145209177 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14 >>145209131 >V Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:06:15 No.145209177 >>145209208 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>14: >>145209156 >E D Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)20:06:47 No.145209208 >>145209258 >>145209347 >>145209831 >>145 >>145209177 >R

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Anon is a pirate | /r/Greentext

ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWSI" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw
ile: image jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: öyTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"Ive always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat jpg >Only thíng I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWSI" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >"Hey anon do you." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed >Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after ciosing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw

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Anon gets scammed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:37:51 No.845034666 >buy nintendo switch >most of the games for it suck >only have skyrim, smash bros, and botw because everything SWITCH else is more retarded than an autist on Isd >playing botw one day >notice link is moving without 68 KB JPG me using the controller >jiggle the joysticks because figured they might have just stuck a bit >ffw 3 days later >he's just f------ running in circles now >not even holding the f------ controller >decide to look up what b------- is going on >find out that it's a common thing because the 6 year old slave wage chinks who throw the s--- together don't give even a little bit of a f--- about their job >find out that nintendo pretty much just tells you to f--- off and buy another set of controllers >find out they were apparently getting sued over this s--- Seriously, who the f--- actually thinks this is a good company?
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)01:37:51 No.845034666 >buy nintendo switch >most of the games for it suck >only have skyrim, smash bros, and botw because everything SWITCH else is more retarded than an autist on Isd >playing botw one day >notice link is moving without 68 KB JPG me using the controller >jiggle the joysticks because figured they might have just stuck a bit >ffw 3 days later >he's just f------ running in circles now >not even holding the f------ controller >decide to look up what b------- is going on >find out that it's a common thing because the 6 year old slave wage chinks who throw the s--- together don't give even a little bit of a f--- about their job >find out that nintendo pretty much just tells you to f--- off and buy another set of controllers >find out they were apparently getting sued over this s--- Seriously, who the f--- actually thinks this is a good company?

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Anon is authright | /r/Greentext

I ) 3 hours ago No.62165074 Anonymous (ID: FJV60P >play with people from /pol/ >play chess >game never starts, both refuse to play as blacks Economic-
I ) 3 hours ago No.62165074 Anonymous (ID: FJV60P >play with people from /pol/ >play chess >game never starts, both refuse to play as blacks Economic-

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Anon goes to Wendy’s | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)00:27:44 No.845034155 >be at Wendy's drive thru >buy food >guy gives me my change >hands me my dollars first >he then holds out his fist >confused, I think he's going for a fist bump so I awkwardly put my fist on his 26 KB PNG >"no it's your change" >hands me my the rest of it >the car behind me must've saw >probably told it to all his coworkers I can't do this s--- anymore
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)00:27:44 No.845034155 >be at Wendy's drive thru >buy food >guy gives me my change >hands me my dollars first >he then holds out his fist >confused, I think he's going for a fist bump so I awkwardly put my fist on his 26 KB PNG >"no it's your change" >hands me my the rest of it >the car behind me must've saw >probably told it to all his coworkers I can't do this s--- anymore

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Anon want to be spider child | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)04:44:34 No.845016677 >be me, 8 years old >huge fan of Spider-Man >goes to park with mom one day, sees yellow spider on ground >idea.wav >puts hand near spider, it crawls on hand 17 KB JPG >bites my hand >cries like a bitch, tells mom >bite mark gets worse, rushes to hospital >mfw no spiderpowers
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)04:44:34 No.845016677 >be me, 8 years old >huge fan of Spider-Man >goes to park with mom one day, sees yellow spider on ground >idea.wav >puts hand near spider, it crawls on hand 17 KB JPG >bites my hand >cries like a bitch, tells mom >bite mark gets worse, rushes to hospital >mfw no spiderpowers

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Is this why California burns so often? | /r/Greentext

12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down
12/06/17(Wed)22:41:21 No.152315696 fire.jpg 364 KB JPG >152305387 (OP) # >1920 >be californian >get duped into buying Australian eucalyptus trees >plant thousands of acres >Australians forget to mention it takes at least 100 years for the trees to mature >thousands of investors go broke >2017 >100 years later eucalyptus trees have spread everywhere and have finally matured >Australians also forgot to mention the trees produce a highly flammable toxic oil that builds up in the tree >california burns down

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Anon is in trouble | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)19:00:42 No.845014059 >wipe ass >blood 902 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)19:00:42 No.845014059 >wipe ass >blood 902 KB JPG 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is single again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)09:43:19 No.845016599 >mom found my c---sock >called me a degenerate >mfw my mom throws away my girlfriend 36 KB JPG
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)09:43:19 No.845016599 >mom found my c---sock >called me a degenerate >mfw my mom throws away my girlfriend 36 KB JPG

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Anon goes to spanish class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)02:15:31 No.845014949 be me >probably 15 >at school with friend >her and i are being absolute retards >at our lockers one day >pull out pencil case to take to class 34 KB JPG >friend pulls out tiny stapler from locker >fuckyeah.jpeg >we kek like retards, start stapling s--- >staple pencil case zipper thing because retarded >forget about it >go to spanish class >teacher w---- tells us to get a pencil >rip pencil case open staple goes deep into my hand, starts bleeding instantly >ohfuckohshit.png >staple is twisted into my hand, try to methodically remove it >can't >it's bleeding onto my notebook now >can't tell teacher because retarded >finally just grab it and jerk it our of hand >scream louder than a herd of wild retards at the friendly farm field trip >blood begins to pour >immediately rush out the door, everyone looking at me >blood trail leading out >go to office >dumb w---- gives me a mint and tells me to drink some water >mfw
: Anonymous 01/17/21(Sun)02:15:31 No.845014949 be me >probably 15 >at school with friend >her and i are being absolute retards >at our lockers one day >pull out pencil case to take to class 34 KB JPG >friend pulls out tiny stapler from locker >fuckyeah.jpeg >we kek like retards, start stapling s--- >staple pencil case zipper thing because retarded >forget about it >go to spanish class >teacher w---- tells us to get a pencil >rip pencil case open staple goes deep into my hand, starts bleeding instantly >ohfuckohshit.png >staple is twisted into my hand, try to methodically remove it >can't >it's bleeding onto my notebook now >can't tell teacher because retarded >finally just grab it and jerk it our of hand >scream louder than a herd of wild retards at the friendly farm field trip >blood begins to pour >immediately rush out the door, everyone looking at me >blood trail leading out >go to office >dumb w---- gives me a mint and tells me to drink some water >mfw

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Anon made me laugh | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/29/17(Sat)00:04:49 No.36626386 >>36626421 >>36626450 >>3662648 File: uk.png (85 KB, 844x1157) I just have a very poor sense of humor >tried to be funny in College >thought it was a fresh start so I could be the hilarious guy and people would be forced to like me >came up with a bunch of good jokes I could make >knew I needed a 'nickname' >on the first day of class, dressed in a bright red shirt, with a white 'fez' tunisian hat >idea was that I looked like a tube of toothpaste >thought someone would comment on this and I could have the nickname 'Mr Toothpaste' or something similar >went to class >nbody commenting on how I look like toothpaste >start to get desperate >loudly say 'I look like toothpaste' in the middle of class >people turn and look >l apologise >nobody mentions it again I haven't made anyone laugh in about 8 years.
O Anonymous 04/29/17(Sat)00:04:49 No.36626386 >>36626421 >>36626450 >>3662648 File: uk.png (85 KB, 844x1157) I just have a very poor sense of humor >tried to be funny in College >thought it was a fresh start so I could be the hilarious guy and people would be forced to like me >came up with a bunch of good jokes I could make >knew I needed a 'nickname' >on the first day of class, dressed in a bright red shirt, with a white 'fez' tunisian hat >idea was that I looked like a tube of toothpaste >thought someone would comment on this and I could have the nickname 'Mr Toothpaste' or something similar >went to class >nbody commenting on how I look like toothpaste >start to get desperate >loudly say 'I look like toothpaste' in the middle of class >people turn and look >l apologise >nobody mentions it again I haven't made anyone laugh in about 8 years.

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Anon makes Mac n Cheese | /r/Greentext

File: concuerdo.png (25 KB, 128x128) GONEUERDO O Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)15:52:45 No. >be me >cooking mac n' cheese >life is good >bee f------ nosedives into mac n cheese >bee dies instantly >flip my s---
File: concuerdo.png (25 KB, 128x128) GONEUERDO O Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)15:52:45 No. >be me >cooking mac n' cheese >life is good >bee f------ nosedives into mac n cheese >bee dies instantly >flip my s---

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Anon has a lot of experience | /r/Greentext

>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things
>be me, 15, virgin >gf calls me over >watch movie, bla, bla end up making out on couch >she is touching me all over body >my brain gets scrambled thinking about losing virginity >try to take her bra off >can't do it, because brain started to drift off >"You haven't unhooked lots of bra's, have you Anon?" >"Just your mom's" >wtfdidljustsay.jpg >tells me to leave >explain to her that I didn't mean it >nope.avi >breaks up with me next day >still virgin, hate my life Why do I say these things

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Anon sees weaponized autism | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)07:31:16 No.731791418 # 2 ON TRENDING Can 1000 MPH Fidget Spinner Shatter Galaxy S8 Infinity Display? 1.7M views IMG_3622.jpg 93 KB JPG Is this what they meant by weaponized autism?
E Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)07:31:16 No.731791418 # 2 ON TRENDING Can 1000 MPH Fidget Spinner Shatter Galaxy S8 Infinity Display? 1.7M views IMG_3622.jpg 93 KB JPG Is this what they meant by weaponized autism?

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Anon is starving | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)18:50:16 No.845008947 >Be me >See total Asian QT >10/10 >Giant Milkers and a great ass >Work up courage to go ask her out >She says yes 89 KB JPG >Date comes and I make her dinner at my dad place >After dinners done we start making out >Take off my shirt and reach for her t--- >Wait anon please stop l'm not ready yet >l back off and say I understand >Wake up from dream and cry that even in my sleep I won't get laid Why does this happen to me, why can't I be a degenerate in my sleep
: Anonymous 01/16/21(Sat)18:50:16 No.845008947 >Be me >See total Asian QT >10/10 >Giant Milkers and a great ass >Work up courage to go ask her out >She says yes 89 KB JPG >Date comes and I make her dinner at my dad place >After dinners done we start making out >Take off my shirt and reach for her t--- >Wait anon please stop l'm not ready yet >l back off and say I understand >Wake up from dream and cry that even in my sleep I won't get laid Why does this happen to me, why can't I be a degenerate in my sleep

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Anon's meaning of embarressmant | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/20/12(Thu)19:30:01 No.25940361 You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in the third grade at a school assembly >have to s--- real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy f--- Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to s--- so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gym shorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) >Hugo the Hormet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting them back down >starting to feel dizzy from holding my s--- >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as l'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over other kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >Hugo then drops me on my f------ head, into a pile of my own s---, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F---" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own s--- and can't stop farting/s------- as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gym shorts work like a s--- colander, leaking s--- water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on I was "The kid who s--- on Hugo the Hornet".
Anonymous 09/20/12(Thu)19:30:01 No.25940361 You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in the third grade at a school assembly >have to s--- real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy f--- Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Hornets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to s--- so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gym shorts, no underwear (I had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) >Hugo the Hormet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting them back down >starting to feel dizzy from holding my s--- >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as l'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over other kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >Hugo then drops me on my f------ head, into a pile of my own s---, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F---" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own s--- and can't stop farting/s------- as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gym shorts work like a s--- colander, leaking s--- water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on I was "The kid who s--- on Hugo the Hornet".

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Anon meets a girl at a party | /r/Greentext

File : 1310210340.jpg-(59 KB, 555x211, asuras wrath.jpg) Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:19 No.101849376 > be 18 > meet cute girl at friend's party > she's all over me for some reason > some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and s--- > whatever, she has great t--- and im drunk as balls > f--- yeah she starts making out with me > we look for some privacy > yeah laundryroom seems fine > gives me a bj > takes off her panties and says she wants it > we start to f--- > pretty tight, not a virgin but watev s--- is cash > start slamming her > she wraps her legs around me and begs me to c-- inside > not sure if want > she says she's on the pill > fuckyeah.jpg > splort inside, feels good man > after I pull out she starts pushing j--- back into her p---- > seems hot but I'm like wat > she tells me she was lying about being on the pill > wants to get pregnant so l'll stay with her forever > I flip the f--- out > Enter BEASTMODE > Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut > It crits her uterus so hard it bursts > She starts throwing up blood >I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo > She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party > Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast > Obliterates the house > No survivors > 1200 xp, Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+ > F--- given rating 0.0% Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:20 No.101849471 File1310210439.jpg-(90 KB, 333x500, Ainsley.jpg) OH F--- I LAUGHED SO HARD >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:25 No.101849750 File1310210710.jpg-(6 KB, 236x285, bateman shocked.jpg) >>101849376 >l autochain into a sick 45 hit combo haven't laughed this hard in a while. stay classy, Ivl O DRUG WIZARD 07/09/11(Sat)07:27 No.101849865 File1310210832.png-(133 KB, 373x411, REACTION IMAGE.png) >A slick 45 kick combo Great thread OP
File : 1310210340.jpg-(59 KB, 555x211, asuras wrath.jpg) Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:19 No.101849376 > be 18 > meet cute girl at friend's party > she's all over me for some reason > some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and s--- > whatever, she has great t--- and im drunk as balls > f--- yeah she starts making out with me > we look for some privacy > yeah laundryroom seems fine > gives me a bj > takes off her panties and says she wants it > we start to f--- > pretty tight, not a virgin but watev s--- is cash > start slamming her > she wraps her legs around me and begs me to c-- inside > not sure if want > she says she's on the pill > fuckyeah.jpg > splort inside, feels good man > after I pull out she starts pushing j--- back into her p---- > seems hot but I'm like wat > she tells me she was lying about being on the pill > wants to get pregnant so l'll stay with her forever > I flip the f--- out > Enter BEASTMODE > Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut > It crits her uterus so hard it bursts > She starts throwing up blood >I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo > She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party > Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast > Obliterates the house > No survivors > 1200 xp, Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+ > F--- given rating 0.0% Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:20 No.101849471 File1310210439.jpg-(90 KB, 333x500, Ainsley.jpg) OH F--- I LAUGHED SO HARD >> Anonymous 07/09/11(Sat)07:25 No.101849750 File1310210710.jpg-(6 KB, 236x285, bateman shocked.jpg) >>101849376 >l autochain into a sick 45 hit combo haven't laughed this hard in a while. stay classy, Ivl O DRUG WIZARD 07/09/11(Sat)07:27 No.101849865 File1310210832.png-(133 KB, 373x411, REACTION IMAGE.png) >A slick 45 kick combo Great thread OP

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Anon's being a single father | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/08/12(Sun)20:01:25 No.410969229 >be a single father >find a sploof under my 15 year old son's bed >not surprised that he's smoking weed >see him and his friend come home once with clearly bloodshot eyes >remember reading here once about how a parent intentionally caught his son smoking weed, pretended to freak out and then smoked it right in front of him >think this would be a laugh and decide to replicate it >I go out every Saturday night and his friend is always there before I leave so I assume that's when they smoke weed >tell them I'm leaving, drive off, park the car one block away and then walk back to the house >slowly enter through the back door and move my way towards his room quiet as a mouse >approaching his door I can smell the weed and get ready to go in >pull open the door really fast and I see my son sucking his friends d--- >close door immediately and go lay on my bed for the rest of the night traumatized >still haven't talked to him since then >mfw
Anonymous 07/08/12(Sun)20:01:25 No.410969229 >be a single father >find a sploof under my 15 year old son's bed >not surprised that he's smoking weed >see him and his friend come home once with clearly bloodshot eyes >remember reading here once about how a parent intentionally caught his son smoking weed, pretended to freak out and then smoked it right in front of him >think this would be a laugh and decide to replicate it >I go out every Saturday night and his friend is always there before I leave so I assume that's when they smoke weed >tell them I'm leaving, drive off, park the car one block away and then walk back to the house >slowly enter through the back door and move my way towards his room quiet as a mouse >approaching his door I can smell the weed and get ready to go in >pull open the door really fast and I see my son sucking his friends d--- >close door immediately and go lay on my bed for the rest of the night traumatized >still haven't talked to him since then >mfw

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Anon is mannish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY
Anonymous | 763032186 16 min. ago >go into Boots to buy toothbrush >see Stacey I went to school with working behind the counter >hatch plan >pick up a box of Durex Extra Large >she'll think I have a hung super cute bf >walk up to counter >not sure if she recognizes me >pay for the toothbrush and condoms >as i'm walking out the door, I hear her whisper to her co-worker >"I think that t----- has a big d---" >mfw 45.6 kB JPG 3 REPLIES 1 IMAGE REPLY

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