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shit, my life is over

O Anonymous (ID: Av8u6t/c) 05/09/12(Wed)12:05:03 No.398634064 s---, my life is over > eating a cup of ice cream while lurking > decide to fap and c-- into empty ice cream cup > forget cup on desk > leave room for a moment and notice that cup is gone > mom yells out of kitchen > slowly realize what happened > mom thought it was garbage and believed it was molten ice cream in the cup and drank it > she quickly noticed what it was > can't look into her eyes i'm never going to leave my room and will just starve here mfw Anonymous (ID: +bNrKr4R) 05/09/12(Wed)12:06:24 No.398634232 comedy gold Anonymous (ID: WK5pDFRO) 05/09/12(Wed)12:06:28 No.398634241 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHA Anonymous (ID: gkfi+qM6) 05/09/12(Wed)12:08:02 No.398634434 >>398634064 Pics or it didn't happen.
O Anonymous (ID: Av8u6t/c) 05/09/12(Wed)12:05:03 No.398634064 s---, my life is over > eating a cup of ice cream while lurking > decide to fap and c-- into empty ice cream cup > forget cup on desk > leave room for a moment and notice that cup is gone > mom yells out of kitchen > slowly realize what happened > mom thought it was garbage and believed it was molten ice cream in the cup and drank it > she quickly noticed what it was > can't look into her eyes i'm never going to leave my room and will just starve here mfw Anonymous (ID: +bNrKr4R) 05/09/12(Wed)12:06:24 No.398634232 comedy gold Anonymous (ID: WK5pDFRO) 05/09/12(Wed)12:06:28 No.398634241 BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHA Anonymous (ID: gkfi+qM6) 05/09/12(Wed)12:08:02 No.398634434 >>398634064 Pics or it didn't happen.

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green text 4chan laugh mom ice cream momroom life over molten yell kitchen /b/

Feels

>> □ Anonymous 04/01/12(Sun)08:49 No.63594763曰ロHide File: 1333284597 ipg-(260 KB, 400x400, 10152134_p0.jpg) archive >that feel when no gf that feel when girls poop out they're butts ISHYGDDT >who are you quoting D: okay.jpg try to walk to dinasaur >spaghetti falling out of my pockets smfw when i have no pokeface.png >dinasaur turns into a dragon and flies away >h-------- im flying to O_o >spaghetti falling out of my pockets >flying spaghetti monster.exe >mfw >flying on my dinasaur >see dead baby on the sidewalk >mvq quand ( >implying l, as a guy, will ever breast feed a baby >that feel when males can lactate out they're n------ >BUENO.gif >give my dragon bro a high five BUENO.gif >now i poop in my p---- every day because i enjoy yeast infections 기SHYGDT aing ut of my pockets >2013
>> □ Anonymous 04/01/12(Sun)08:49 No.63594763曰ロHide File: 1333284597 ipg-(260 KB, 400x400, 10152134_p0.jpg) archive >that feel when no gf that feel when girls poop out they're butts ISHYGDDT >who are you quoting D: okay.jpg try to walk to dinasaur >spaghetti falling out of my pockets smfw when i have no pokeface.png >dinasaur turns into a dragon and flies away >h-------- im flying to O_o >spaghetti falling out of my pockets >flying spaghetti monster.exe >mfw >flying on my dinasaur >see dead baby on the sidewalk >mvq quand ( >implying l, as a guy, will ever breast feed a baby >that feel when males can lactate out they're n------ >BUENO.gif >give my dragon bro a high five BUENO.gif >now i poop in my p---- every day because i enjoy yeast infections 기SHYGDT aing ut of my pockets >2013

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4chan green text stories anonymus what the hell is wrong with you douch-bitches? too much spaghetti 7.8/10

Rejection

ile 1289007277 png-(141 KB, 500x500, reactionface sad frog.png) □ Anonymous 11/06/10(Fri)21:34:37 No.285062965 Girl ive been crushing on for years Shorter than me, adorable in every way We have sex regularly Be together for many years Trust her unconditionally One day, she sits me down for a talk *Has a sad look on her face She tells me she was r---- a few weeks back She went to get an STD test and found out she was HIV positive Weve had sex at least 4 times after She just tells me now because she was scared of telling me Suddenly build up with uncontollable rage Punch her in the face as hard as I can She falls down Still p----- off, cant even see straight Keep punching her as hard as I can Gets to a point where her face is a pool of blood Blood splashes onto my shirt when I punch Keep punching "Leave, her parents come home after Fast forward a few weeks "She's in a face bandage, stitches everywhere She told her parents a robber came in and did this "She didnt want me in jail cause she felt bad Suddenly feel terrible inside Go to apologize three weeks later Ask her sister where she is Her sis has tears in her eyes, says she fell into a coma Run to the hospital to say sorry before its too late Get to her room Open the door * Get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur □ Anonymous 1 1/05/10(Fri)21:35:07 No.285063048 OP what the hell is wrong with you
ile 1289007277 png-(141 KB, 500x500, reactionface sad frog.png) □ Anonymous 11/06/10(Fri)21:34:37 No.285062965 Girl ive been crushing on for years Shorter than me, adorable in every way We have sex regularly Be together for many years Trust her unconditionally One day, she sits me down for a talk *Has a sad look on her face She tells me she was r---- a few weeks back She went to get an STD test and found out she was HIV positive Weve had sex at least 4 times after She just tells me now because she was scared of telling me Suddenly build up with uncontollable rage Punch her in the face as hard as I can She falls down Still p----- off, cant even see straight Keep punching her as hard as I can Gets to a point where her face is a pool of blood Blood splashes onto my shirt when I punch Keep punching "Leave, her parents come home after Fast forward a few weeks "She's in a face bandage, stitches everywhere She told her parents a robber came in and did this "She didnt want me in jail cause she felt bad Suddenly feel terrible inside Go to apologize three weeks later Ask her sister where she is Her sis has tears in her eyes, says she fell into a coma Run to the hospital to say sorry before its too late Get to her room Open the door * Get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur □ Anonymous 1 1/05/10(Fri)21:35:07 No.285063048 OP what the hell is wrong with you

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4chan pepe green text stories green text story sad frog op pepe the frog frog hiv

be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground she tells me to take my pants of >lol wut ask her why stells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk stry not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf PrecesSS IS Over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out stells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson
be 12 >get weird feelings for girl >cant describe it >tell her how i feel >she feels same way we go to reccess >we hide in back of playground she tells me to take my pants of >lol wut ask her why stells me to trust her >i comply and take pants off >standing naked >breeze feels good >she moves her head toward my junk stry not to pee >success >my first ever b------- >d--- like a toothpick but idgaf PrecesSS IS Over >learn about dinosaurs >they're pretty cool >go home tell mom about recess >she flips the f--- out stells my dad >ive made a huge mistake >mom calls cops >cop comes to school >my teacher was arrested >i miss mrs. johnson

Greentext Stories
4chan school story teacher student bait-and-switch

□ The Duke 02/03/12(Fri)13:00:15 No.1311185 File1328292015. gif-(973 KB, 350x260, iRFvl.gif) >Britfag >Be in New York for the first time NHSMUN >Staying in the Hilton >H-------- AMERICAN FOOD >Take a s---, lush etc. and walk out >Couple of hours later >Sitting down in the lobby, talking with a friend >Guy I'm sharing a room with asks us to come upstairs and take a look at something >That s--- from earlier is still there, and has blocked the toilet >Friend has the idea to try pissing on it to break it up >Instead turns into a curry-like mess, blocking the entire toilet >Still won't flush >Leave it, hope things get better >That night, need another s--- >Go down the hall to friend's room >He thinks that the worst is over >Deploy shitternaut MK2 >Block up his toilet >Next day, need a third s--- >We prey on an unsuspecting guy from our group >Needless to say, somehow block his toilet, blame his room-mate >Hear rumours in my conference room that people on the floors above me can't flush their toilets due to blockages in the system >Holy crap what have I unleashed >Stay completely silent on the issue, pokerface my way through >The other two guys in my room had apparently had a rather messy incident because we'd not told them about the toilet being blocked >My bathroom was now no-man's land >Wait it out with the creature residing within my bowels >The next day, me and friend heading downstairs >See cleaning lady coming in the direction of our rooms >Pokerfaces > She enters my room, as we walk towards the stairs >From down the hall, hear the big black cleaning woman shout "AW HELL NO >Run down those stairs and never look back >TL DR I destroyed the plumbing in the Hilton hotel >MFW I unleashed the Kraken >MFW I s--- dark matter
□ The Duke 02/03/12(Fri)13:00:15 No.1311185 File1328292015. gif-(973 KB, 350x260, iRFvl.gif) >Britfag >Be in New York for the first time NHSMUN >Staying in the Hilton >H-------- AMERICAN FOOD >Take a s---, lush etc. and walk out >Couple of hours later >Sitting down in the lobby, talking with a friend >Guy I'm sharing a room with asks us to come upstairs and take a look at something >That s--- from earlier is still there, and has blocked the toilet >Friend has the idea to try pissing on it to break it up >Instead turns into a curry-like mess, blocking the entire toilet >Still won't flush >Leave it, hope things get better >That night, need another s--- >Go down the hall to friend's room >He thinks that the worst is over >Deploy shitternaut MK2 >Block up his toilet >Next day, need a third s--- >We prey on an unsuspecting guy from our group >Needless to say, somehow block his toilet, blame his room-mate >Hear rumours in my conference room that people on the floors above me can't flush their toilets due to blockages in the system >Holy crap what have I unleashed >Stay completely silent on the issue, pokerface my way through >The other two guys in my room had apparently had a rather messy incident because we'd not told them about the toilet being blocked >My bathroom was now no-man's land >Wait it out with the creature residing within my bowels >The next day, me and friend heading downstairs >See cleaning lady coming in the direction of our rooms >Pokerfaces > She enters my room, as we walk towards the stairs >From down the hall, hear the big black cleaning woman shout "AW HELL NO >Run down those stairs and never look back >TL DR I destroyed the plumbing in the Hilton hotel >MFW I unleashed the Kraken >MFW I s--- dark matter

Greentext Stories
toilet food britain uk usa hilton

□ op 02/03/12(Fri)12:42:30 No.1311067 My last one, will probably think of more though. >Arachnophobia >Have stomach problems most of my life >In long car journey through British countryside >Suddenly need to s--- with the force of a million baboons >Wait as long as I can >Get parents to pull over at an old playground with an outside toilet >Run in, already half s------- my pants >Make it, constant stream of liquid fire coming out my ass Look around >Spiders, HUGE F------ SPIDER EVERYWHERE shitshitshitshitshitshit >Paralyzed, still copious amounts of diarrhea exploding out my ass >The spider all just looking at me sOne of them falls off of the ceiling onto me >Traumatized for life Anonymous 02/03/12(Fri)12:45:59 No.1311085 1310868 That mental image was just too f------ funny. Please post moar, OP!
□ op 02/03/12(Fri)12:42:30 No.1311067 My last one, will probably think of more though. >Arachnophobia >Have stomach problems most of my life >In long car journey through British countryside >Suddenly need to s--- with the force of a million baboons >Wait as long as I can >Get parents to pull over at an old playground with an outside toilet >Run in, already half s------- my pants >Make it, constant stream of liquid fire coming out my ass Look around >Spiders, HUGE F------ SPIDER EVERYWHERE shitshitshitshitshitshit >Paralyzed, still copious amounts of diarrhea exploding out my ass >The spider all just looking at me sOne of them falls off of the ceiling onto me >Traumatized for life Anonymous 02/03/12(Fri)12:45:59 No.1311085 1310868 That mental image was just too f------ funny. Please post moar, OP!

Greentext Stories
arachnophobia

← -> Oboards.4chan.org/b/res/377740601#377741861 File 1327933933 247 KB, 612x800, 773444 orig.jpg) Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:32:13 No.377740601 >16 years old >At the library alone, as usual >Minding my own business, as usual >Incredibly hot girl comes walking in >Wearing short skirt, datass.jpg >She grabs a book >Starts gracefully walking towards me >She grabs my shoulder >l can't speak >She sits on my lap >l can't move >She's not wearing underwear >I am in disbelief >Rubs up on me until she gets comfortable have the hardest wood ever >I still can't move >Realize I'm a chair >Do nothing, because l am a chair P2 Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:34:55 No.377740866 Wow Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:36:15 No.377740992 snorted Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:37:10 No.37774 1089 lool Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:37:10 No.377741090 Alright, I chuckled
← -> Oboards.4chan.org/b/res/377740601#377741861 File 1327933933 247 KB, 612x800, 773444 orig.jpg) Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:32:13 No.377740601 >16 years old >At the library alone, as usual >Minding my own business, as usual >Incredibly hot girl comes walking in >Wearing short skirt, datass.jpg >She grabs a book >Starts gracefully walking towards me >She grabs my shoulder >l can't speak >She sits on my lap >l can't move >She's not wearing underwear >I am in disbelief >Rubs up on me until she gets comfortable have the hardest wood ever >I still can't move >Realize I'm a chair >Do nothing, because l am a chair P2 Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:34:55 No.377740866 Wow Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:36:15 No.377740992 snorted Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:37:10 No.37774 1089 lool Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)09:37:10 No.377741090 Alright, I chuckled

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4chan reddit huffington post facebook wikipedia youtube plot twist

□ Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal stry >miss ball >kick goalie in the face try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry."at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" goalie is choking back tears
□ Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal stry >miss ball >kick goalie in the face try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry."at the same time instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" goalie is choking back tears

Greentext Stories
gym are you okay kick soccer

□ BROther Laughing Man !!6Ltud83uedV 11/20/10(Sat)03:18 No. 12863338 8 File 1290241136 jpg-(54 KB, 380x373, ist2_136840-lucha-libre-wrest(...).jpg) >playing half orc monk >decide to play something beyond weeaboo i am a master of martial arts >spend 100 gp on inlaid mask with intricate tribal designs sewn on the side with a fin >BECOME LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND, MASKED WRESTLER take feats revolving around grappling >grapple EVERYTHING >EVERYTHING >EVERY. F------. THING sincluding, but not limited to, a bear >final part of campaign >OH S--- DRAGON >dragon acts like a f-----, ducking into water and popping up to use breath weapon >f--- that, I'm charging his ass >brother, playing warforged fighter, assists my MIGHTY LEAP into the air, where I pose in mid-air, shouting about the HONOR OF THE MASK >TACKLE A F------ DRAGON >deal unarmed damage, latch on, take deep breath in preparation for the underwater struggle >dragon goes up. forgot they can actually fly >DM gives me option to let go before he goes up. F--- that, I'm still wrestling. >200 FEET IN THE AIR, STILL WRESTLING A DRAGON AND DEALING UNARMED DAMAGE >Dragon actually starts hurting me. Have to come up with a plan. BRILLIANCE STRIKES ME. >"I roll to pin.' >Entire table is silent. >l roll to pin' his wings behind his back, so he can't fly anymore. >ENTIRE TABLE IS LEANING OVER SO I CAN MAKE MY ROLL OF DESTINY >NATURAL. F------. TWENTY >I pin the dragon's wings, sending it and me hurtling into ground. I have six seconds to make my final statement. >"I AM LOS TIBURON! And I am...a lucha!!! >Dragon's neck snaps on impact >Through sheer luck or GM fiat, possibly both, I survive with -4 HP >Cleric puts me back at one, picks me up, holding one arm into the air >My brother immediately bangs his shield twice, making a bell noise >Party's bard/diplomancer: "And the winner is....Los Tiburon!" high fives all around And that was the story of how I made it to level four. □ Anonymous 11/20/10(Sat)03:22 No. 12863367 □ Anonymous 11/20/10(Sat)03:29 No.12863425 12863338 you win d&d forever
□ BROther Laughing Man !!6Ltud83uedV 11/20/10(Sat)03:18 No. 12863338 8 File 1290241136 jpg-(54 KB, 380x373, ist2_136840-lucha-libre-wrest(...).jpg) >playing half orc monk >decide to play something beyond weeaboo i am a master of martial arts >spend 100 gp on inlaid mask with intricate tribal designs sewn on the side with a fin >BECOME LOS TIBURON, THE SHARK OF THE LAND, MASKED WRESTLER take feats revolving around grappling >grapple EVERYTHING >EVERYTHING >EVERY. F------. THING sincluding, but not limited to, a bear >final part of campaign >OH S--- DRAGON >dragon acts like a f-----, ducking into water and popping up to use breath weapon >f--- that, I'm charging his ass >brother, playing warforged fighter, assists my MIGHTY LEAP into the air, where I pose in mid-air, shouting about the HONOR OF THE MASK >TACKLE A F------ DRAGON >deal unarmed damage, latch on, take deep breath in preparation for the underwater struggle >dragon goes up. forgot they can actually fly >DM gives me option to let go before he goes up. F--- that, I'm still wrestling. >200 FEET IN THE AIR, STILL WRESTLING A DRAGON AND DEALING UNARMED DAMAGE >Dragon actually starts hurting me. Have to come up with a plan. BRILLIANCE STRIKES ME. >"I roll to pin.' >Entire table is silent. >l roll to pin' his wings behind his back, so he can't fly anymore. >ENTIRE TABLE IS LEANING OVER SO I CAN MAKE MY ROLL OF DESTINY >NATURAL. F------. TWENTY >I pin the dragon's wings, sending it and me hurtling into ground. I have six seconds to make my final statement. >"I AM LOS TIBURON! And I am...a lucha!!! >Dragon's neck snaps on impact >Through sheer luck or GM fiat, possibly both, I survive with -4 HP >Cleric puts me back at one, picks me up, holding one arm into the air >My brother immediately bangs his shield twice, making a bell noise >Party's bard/diplomancer: "And the winner is....Los Tiburon!" high fives all around And that was the story of how I made it to level four. □ Anonymous 11/20/10(Sat)03:22 No. 12863367 □ Anonymous 11/20/10(Sat)03:29 No.12863425 12863338 you win d&d forever

Greentext Stories
greentext story dragon dungeons and dragons wrestling luchador level 4 dnd d&d

File 1326146785 png-(23 KB, 300x289, 1318785391707.png) □ Anonymous 01/09/12(Mon)17:06:25 No.373179525 >only had 1 friend in my childhood >she was femanon >fall in love with her >friendzoned >stay friends as she's all I got >both move to different uni after highschool >0 friends at uni stry to stay in contact with her epic ignore >go visit her at her university as a suprise >see her kissing some alpha >okay.jpg >talk to her the next day >was nice, still friendzone >don't see for years after that >decide to do something with my Sjoin the army >get sent to fight somewhere in the east >be there for a few years >made 1 friend in army >he got shot and died >think about the girl I love everyday >write her letters >no response >leave the army after returning home >buy own house >after a few years the girl comes to my house >she's in deep s--- and has nowhere else to go >happiest time of my life >still cant bear only being friends with her ife >tell girl I love her (again) >everything went better than expected have sex with her next morning >she's not in the house anymore >don't see her for a few years again >few years later I get a message from her > go visit girl >she has a child >my child wants go marry me >we get married >1 year later she dies >single father >no chance of ever getting a woman again >my name is forest gump | Preload images (113 □ Expand images Fun Funnier and FunPlaze.com
File 1326146785 png-(23 KB, 300x289, 1318785391707.png) □ Anonymous 01/09/12(Mon)17:06:25 No.373179525 >only had 1 friend in my childhood >she was femanon >fall in love with her >friendzoned >stay friends as she's all I got >both move to different uni after highschool >0 friends at uni stry to stay in contact with her epic ignore >go visit her at her university as a suprise >see her kissing some alpha >okay.jpg >talk to her the next day >was nice, still friendzone >don't see for years after that >decide to do something with my Sjoin the army >get sent to fight somewhere in the east >be there for a few years >made 1 friend in army >he got shot and died >think about the girl I love everyday >write her letters >no response >leave the army after returning home >buy own house >after a few years the girl comes to my house >she's in deep s--- and has nowhere else to go >happiest time of my life >still cant bear only being friends with her ife >tell girl I love her (again) >everything went better than expected have sex with her next morning >she's not in the house anymore >don't see her for a few years again >few years later I get a message from her > go visit girl >she has a child >my child wants go marry me >we get married >1 year later she dies >single father >no chance of ever getting a woman again >my name is forest gump | Preload images (113 □ Expand images Fun Funnier and FunPlaze.com

Greentext Stories
friendzone forrest gump love story

File 1281729005 ipg-(12 KB, 242x238, 1281622206139s.jpg) □ Anonymous 08/13/10(Fri)15:50 No.701 78XXX >At a track meet >Chilling out on bleachers, waiting for my race >Cute girls in skimpy track uniforms EVERYWHERE. >A group of them are on the field stretching CAMELTOE SPOTTED >Begin thinking naughty thoughts Massive boner is hidden by roomy track pants "HEY ANON WE CANT FIND JOE YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIS SPOT." >Slip Mr. Johnson into my waistband as I stand up >Solid Snake my way >Take pants off, am now only wearing bright yellow short-shorts >Walk quickly to my blocks >Bend over to hide the massive bulge >THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS AT HAND across the field >Race starts >Boner immediately frees itself >Begins bouncing and waving dramatically >A loud slap can be heard each time it hits my thigh >THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE >It begins spinning as we round the corner >D---: "DONT WORRY BUDDY, IVE GOT YOUR BACK." HELICOPTER MODE: ENGAGED >D--- propels me into first H-------- I FEEL LIKE A SUPERHERO >Beat the black kids >Receive prophetic vision of one day creating a helicopter made of d---- >Still have to walk all the way back across the field to the starting line to retrieve my pants >Let my boner shamelessly protrude AND NOT A SINGLE F--- WAS GIVEN
File 1281729005 ipg-(12 KB, 242x238, 1281622206139s.jpg) □ Anonymous 08/13/10(Fri)15:50 No.701 78XXX >At a track meet >Chilling out on bleachers, waiting for my race >Cute girls in skimpy track uniforms EVERYWHERE. >A group of them are on the field stretching CAMELTOE SPOTTED >Begin thinking naughty thoughts Massive boner is hidden by roomy track pants "HEY ANON WE CANT FIND JOE YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIS SPOT." >Slip Mr. Johnson into my waistband as I stand up >Solid Snake my way >Take pants off, am now only wearing bright yellow short-shorts >Walk quickly to my blocks >Bend over to hide the massive bulge >THE MOMENT OF TRUTH IS AT HAND across the field >Race starts >Boner immediately frees itself >Begins bouncing and waving dramatically >A loud slap can be heard each time it hits my thigh >THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE >It begins spinning as we round the corner >D---: "DONT WORRY BUDDY, IVE GOT YOUR BACK." HELICOPTER MODE: ENGAGED >D--- propels me into first H-------- I FEEL LIKE A SUPERHERO >Beat the black kids >Receive prophetic vision of one day creating a helicopter made of d---- >Still have to walk all the way back across the field to the starting line to retrieve my pants >Let my boner shamelessly protrude AND NOT A SINGLE F--- WAS GIVEN

Greentext Stories
greenttext

File : 1296595194.jpg-(49 KB, 400x272, Jonestown.jpg) Anonymous 02/01/11(Tue)16:19:54 No.306365196 Go to Psychology of Religion class Sit next to girl I like, tell her funny stories of what I did this weekend She laughs, we talk a bit more and she asks if I wanna hang out tomorrow F--- yeah Lecture starts, Professor starts talking about group mentality of small cults >Shows touching slideshow of Jonestown massacre, sad music playing, a few girls start crying, overall somber mood in the room >Being the desensitized /b/tard that I am I dgaf and start playing snake on my phone >Look up at the last slide, see picture on left >Start laughing Since I'm in front, the professor sees and asks why I'm laughing >Class is dead silent, everyone looking at me >Face goes red, trying to hold back more laughter >f------ awkward >Finally gather my breath and reply "Who's gonna feed the poor parrot?" >One guy in the back laughs >Everyone looks at me disgusted >Glance at the cute girl, her mouth is open in disbelief >Get up and leave, entire class still staring Guess my plans tomorrow got canceled :
File : 1296595194.jpg-(49 KB, 400x272, Jonestown.jpg) Anonymous 02/01/11(Tue)16:19:54 No.306365196 Go to Psychology of Religion class Sit next to girl I like, tell her funny stories of what I did this weekend She laughs, we talk a bit more and she asks if I wanna hang out tomorrow F--- yeah Lecture starts, Professor starts talking about group mentality of small cults >Shows touching slideshow of Jonestown massacre, sad music playing, a few girls start crying, overall somber mood in the room >Being the desensitized /b/tard that I am I dgaf and start playing snake on my phone >Look up at the last slide, see picture on left >Start laughing Since I'm in front, the professor sees and asks why I'm laughing >Class is dead silent, everyone looking at me >Face goes red, trying to hold back more laughter >f------ awkward >Finally gather my breath and reply "Who's gonna feed the poor parrot?" >One guy in the back laughs >Everyone looks at me disgusted >Glance at the cute girl, her mouth is open in disbelief >Get up and leave, entire class still staring Guess my plans tomorrow got canceled :

Greentext Stories
classroom awkward moment cults parrot embarrassing jonestown massacre

Dean 07/29/11 (Fri)11:08 No.8287004 File 1311952103 ipg-(25 KB, 350x329, 1311695472904.jpg) be relaxing at the watering hole >hougarth is swimming and having fun he tells the iron giant to jump in and join him the iron giant does >suddenly tsunami NOPENOPENOPE Anonymous 07/29/11 (Fri)11:08 No.8287005 >Be out on the front porch >Petting the neighbor's cat >Hear someone call my name from the direction of the house's mail slot. >Cat and I: NOPE!
Dean 07/29/11 (Fri)11:08 No.8287004 File 1311952103 ipg-(25 KB, 350x329, 1311695472904.jpg) be relaxing at the watering hole >hougarth is swimming and having fun he tells the iron giant to jump in and join him the iron giant does >suddenly tsunami NOPENOPENOPE Anonymous 07/29/11 (Fri)11:08 No.8287005 >Be out on the front porch >Petting the neighbor's cat >Hear someone call my name from the direction of the house's mail slot. >Cat and I: NOPE!

Greentext Stories
the iron giant

□ Vlad the Implier !!8UBW7Q0g2P 07/29/11 (Fri)13:38 No.8287567 OH f--- I forgot one. Be 15 >Share a room with little brother who is 13 >One night, chillin' in bed, facing the wall Hear footsteps pacing around my room >Hear them come over to me >Think it's my brother picking something up from the floor by my bed Hear little brother grunt and move around in his bed >Footsteps still there >Stop dead still >NOPE NOPE F------ NOPE >> □ Anonymous 07/29/11 (Fri)13:39 No.8287568 File 1311961148.ipg-(43 KB, 486x486, holyshit.jpg) Be 3 years old (My memory is VERY good >Live in an apartment building >There were mirrors in the elevators Mom and dad explicitly told me not to go out alone >One day, the door was open for some reason Venture outside, elevator door was open too >Get in THERE'S A F------ BLACK, HAIRY MAN-THING THING IN THERE > INSIDE THE MIRROR NOPE THE F--- BACK HOME >Some months later >My sister and a female friend of hers had an argument >My sister told her to leave When the elevator doors opened, IT WAS THERE >Except not inside the mirror, HE WAS F------ RIGHT THERE >My sister's friend does seem somehow scared, it wasn't like she could see it >She gets in the elevator FACING the thing >Elevator door takes longer than usual to close To this day I am convinced this was not a dream.
□ Vlad the Implier !!8UBW7Q0g2P 07/29/11 (Fri)13:38 No.8287567 OH f--- I forgot one. Be 15 >Share a room with little brother who is 13 >One night, chillin' in bed, facing the wall Hear footsteps pacing around my room >Hear them come over to me >Think it's my brother picking something up from the floor by my bed Hear little brother grunt and move around in his bed >Footsteps still there >Stop dead still >NOPE NOPE F------ NOPE >> □ Anonymous 07/29/11 (Fri)13:39 No.8287568 File 1311961148.ipg-(43 KB, 486x486, holyshit.jpg) Be 3 years old (My memory is VERY good >Live in an apartment building >There were mirrors in the elevators Mom and dad explicitly told me not to go out alone >One day, the door was open for some reason Venture outside, elevator door was open too >Get in THERE'S A F------ BLACK, HAIRY MAN-THING THING IN THERE > INSIDE THE MIRROR NOPE THE F--- BACK HOME >Some months later >My sister and a female friend of hers had an argument >My sister told her to leave When the elevator doors opened, IT WAS THERE >Except not inside the mirror, HE WAS F------ RIGHT THERE >My sister's friend does seem somehow scared, it wasn't like she could see it >She gets in the elevator FACING the thing >Elevator door takes longer than usual to close To this day I am convinced this was not a dream.

Greentext Stories
retro 90s internet 4chan story dream racist sister brother bedtime

>live in Florida

□ Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)23:22 No.27895652 live in Florida >die every summer >be resurrected in the start of fall >live as a god in the winter start the process over again the moment spring ends repeat
□ Anonymous 07/20/11(Wed)23:22 No.27895652 live in Florida >die every summer >be resurrected in the start of fall >live as a god in the winter start the process over again the moment spring ends repeat

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florida die ressurected god spring summer winter fall seasons process repeat 4chan

File : 1309545096 ipg-(B KB, 182x250, BloodArnold.jpg) □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:31:36 No.338068583 ITT: Greentext stories. Be in 10th grade >My school was predominantly black >Huge brawl breaks out between two black groups in the middle of the science hallway >Teachers and administrators trying their hardest, but the blacks kept fighting. >The cops were callerd >Upon seeing the cops, one black kid ran as fast as he could out of the fight >As he turned a corner, he lost his balance and let out a loud "OH S---" and fell >Milk explodes from his backpack >Milk, milk everywhere >Black kid had a gallon of milk in his bag at school □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:32:39 No.338068732 wat □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:34:30 No.338069035 wat □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:34:35 No.338069047 cool story bro
File : 1309545096 ipg-(B KB, 182x250, BloodArnold.jpg) □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:31:36 No.338068583 ITT: Greentext stories. Be in 10th grade >My school was predominantly black >Huge brawl breaks out between two black groups in the middle of the science hallway >Teachers and administrators trying their hardest, but the blacks kept fighting. >The cops were callerd >Upon seeing the cops, one black kid ran as fast as he could out of the fight >As he turned a corner, he lost his balance and let out a loud "OH S---" and fell >Milk explodes from his backpack >Milk, milk everywhere >Black kid had a gallon of milk in his bag at school □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:32:39 No.338068732 wat □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:34:30 No.338069035 wat □ Anonymous 07/01/11 (Fri)14:34:35 No.338069047 cool story bro

Greentext Stories
4cah greentect story green text milk cops

File 1309380682 ipg-(46 KB, 200x242, shoplifting21.jpg) □ Anonym o us 06/29/11 Med) 1 6:51:22 No. 3376411 03 Let's have a shoplifting thread Tell us your stories, your accomplishments, your tactics, and give a few of your fellow /b/rothers some hints on r----- the stores of their goodies □ Anonymous 06/29/11 (Med)16:53:01 No.337641379 CVS is my favorite target. No cameras. No mom and pop stores. Only major chains sS □ Anonymous 06/29/11 (Ned)16:53:43 No.337641492 >Be 10 Wanted Pokemon Cards >Too many people around >Kick somebody, while standing next to someone else, to make it look like he did it >They start shouting and s--- >Make a big scene >Shove 5 packages into my pocket Charizard Get >Best day ever □ Anonymous 06/29/11(Med)16:53:51 No.337641514 got a video card once... from wal-mart □ Anonymous 06/29/11 Med) 1 6:54:34 No. 337641 635 >old plastic target bag swalk into target fill bag with goods swalk out >fuckyea.jpg
File 1309380682 ipg-(46 KB, 200x242, shoplifting21.jpg) □ Anonym o us 06/29/11 Med) 1 6:51:22 No. 3376411 03 Let's have a shoplifting thread Tell us your stories, your accomplishments, your tactics, and give a few of your fellow /b/rothers some hints on r----- the stores of their goodies □ Anonymous 06/29/11 (Med)16:53:01 No.337641379 CVS is my favorite target. No cameras. No mom and pop stores. Only major chains sS □ Anonymous 06/29/11 (Ned)16:53:43 No.337641492 >Be 10 Wanted Pokemon Cards >Too many people around >Kick somebody, while standing next to someone else, to make it look like he did it >They start shouting and s--- >Make a big scene >Shove 5 packages into my pocket Charizard Get >Best day ever □ Anonymous 06/29/11(Med)16:53:51 No.337641514 got a video card once... from wal-mart □ Anonymous 06/29/11 Med) 1 6:54:34 No. 337641 635 >old plastic target bag swalk into target fill bag with goods swalk out >fuckyea.jpg

Greentext Stories
pokemon /b/charizard shoplifting wal-mart target

□ Anonymous 06/27/11(Mon)11 :35:47 No. 337156481 >be at party friend pact to watch each other's backs srun out of hunch punch friend hands me a handle of rum schugged the remaining amount >make complete ass of self sit down and the room started spinning scute girl asks if I was ok sblow chunks on cute girl □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11:36:18 No.337 156542 23 I sucked off a black guy S □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11 :36:56 No.337156620 337156481 □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11:37:20 No.337 156658 >be at party >drink too much Sthrow up on EVERYTHING too dark snobody knew it was me
□ Anonymous 06/27/11(Mon)11 :35:47 No. 337156481 >be at party friend pact to watch each other's backs srun out of hunch punch friend hands me a handle of rum schugged the remaining amount >make complete ass of self sit down and the room started spinning scute girl asks if I was ok sblow chunks on cute girl □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11:36:18 No.337 156542 23 I sucked off a black guy S □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11 :36:56 No.337156620 337156481 □ Anonymous 06/27/11 (Mon)11:37:20 No.337 156658 >be at party >drink too much Sthrow up on EVERYTHING too dark snobody knew it was me

Greentext Stories
party

□ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun) 19:27:53 No.337021437 i cant be the only one doing these things be 13 have exam dutch (i'm belgian) actually studied for it sturns out it was math exam >get 80% everythingwentbetterthanexpected □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun) 19:29:15 No.337021661 >be in 2nd grade smy hand held pencil sharpener is pretty dirty >decide to clean it with my finger >everything is going good till I twist my finger the wrong way >bleed everywhere in classroonm >No one remembers next year >fuckyeah.jpg □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:29:41 No.337021738 s minutes ago s sitting in living room brother tells his girlfriend theres a party on 4rth of july s his girlfriend says whens the fourth of july?" s nobody says anything s i leave and come on newt gingric □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:31:28 No.337022016 few days later >have exam geography sworking with atlas >suddenly realize i can't find my exam >panic, try finding it in my atlas >finally raise my hand and tell teacher i lost my exam >she turns around my atlas >exam falls out sclass laughs MFVW
□ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun) 19:27:53 No.337021437 i cant be the only one doing these things be 13 have exam dutch (i'm belgian) actually studied for it sturns out it was math exam >get 80% everythingwentbetterthanexpected □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun) 19:29:15 No.337021661 >be in 2nd grade smy hand held pencil sharpener is pretty dirty >decide to clean it with my finger >everything is going good till I twist my finger the wrong way >bleed everywhere in classroonm >No one remembers next year >fuckyeah.jpg □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:29:41 No.337021738 s minutes ago s sitting in living room brother tells his girlfriend theres a party on 4rth of july s his girlfriend says whens the fourth of july?" s nobody says anything s i leave and come on newt gingric □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:31:28 No.337022016 few days later >have exam geography sworking with atlas >suddenly realize i can't find my exam >panic, try finding it in my atlas >finally raise my hand and tell teacher i lost my exam >she turns around my atlas >exam falls out sclass laughs MFVW

Greentext Stories
geography pencle sharpener blood newt gingrich

File 1309130255 ipg-(4 KB, 237x195, 1298420289481 .jpg) □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:1 7:35 No.337019552 let's have a full retard thread, i'll start >be 10-11 ride my bike to school almost late, as usual >arrive realize i forgot my backpack sask teacher if i can go back to get it >she hesitantly lets me sride back home >ask mom where my backpack is son your back MFW □ An onymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:20:59 No. 337020167 another one from op to get this s--- going sbe about 5 sput on my jacket on my own backwards inside out supside down >whatthefuckamidoing.jpeg
File 1309130255 ipg-(4 KB, 237x195, 1298420289481 .jpg) □ Anonymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:1 7:35 No.337019552 let's have a full retard thread, i'll start >be 10-11 ride my bike to school almost late, as usual >arrive realize i forgot my backpack sask teacher if i can go back to get it >she hesitantly lets me sride back home >ask mom where my backpack is son your back MFW □ An onymous 06/26/11 (Sun)19:20:59 No. 337020167 another one from op to get this s--- going sbe about 5 sput on my jacket on my own backwards inside out supside down >whatthefuckamidoing.jpeg

Greentext Stories
kermit 4chan green text