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Anon dislikes society | /r/Greentext

Women's sexual partners before 40% 30% 30% 25% 20% TEN ON 0% partners their first marriage i REALLY wish we were born in a different era 1partner 4-5 partner Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)05:18:43 No.72463014 [Reply] virgins before m 1990 2000 Source National Survey of Family Grow >tattoos >all women dressed like sluts >hyper sexual society >women had to find jobs and husbands instead of stripping online >yoga pants >literal high s----------- walking around in bras and lingerie >no smartphones >no trannies >no $2000 rent + 10 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)09:17:10 No.72465428 >>72464752 Thats woman logic for ya.
Women's sexual partners before 40% 30% 30% 25% 20% TEN ON 0% partners their first marriage i REALLY wish we were born in a different era 1partner 4-5 partner Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)05:18:43 No.72463014 [Reply] virgins before m 1990 2000 Source National Survey of Family Grow >tattoos >all women dressed like sluts >hyper sexual society >women had to find jobs and husbands instead of stripping online >yoga pants >literal high s----------- walking around in bras and lingerie >no smartphones >no trannies >no $2000 rent + 10 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)09:17:10 No.72465428 >>72464752 Thats woman logic for ya.

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Anon is sensitive | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)14:31:54 No.895391176 File: 358363543.gif (1.14 MB, 498x424) >>895386946 (OP) >i poo poo myself haha expressive verbiage about childish topic funny xd I hate you lying n------ with a passion so let me tell a real true story >going to the gym one day >always stop by gas station on the way there and get an energy drink >see this new kind that I've never tried before >"C4 Energy" with something called "CarnoSyn" which at the time I did not realize was beta-alanine >why not, buy one to try it >drink it on my way there >check into the gym and start doing back and shoulders >by the time I finish my overhead press I can feel my back starting to tingle >w--.jpg >few minutes later, entire back feels like it's on fire >tingling sensation is now moving into arms and legs >figure the feeling will go away if I do more reps >continue my workout but the sensation only gets stronger >can't even focus anymore, my entire back feels like it's being scraped with rusty nails >can't take it anymore >rip my shirt off and rush over to the water fountain >start spraying my back with ice cold water in front of everyone >gymbunny looking at me, can't tell if she was mirin or in shock >another gymbro comes over and asks me what the f--- I'm doing >can only reply with "IT FEELS LIKE ACID ON MY BACK" >gym owner thought I was high on crack or something >tingling sensation lasts for 3 hours, went to hospital, found out I'm extremely sensitive to beta-alanine >never go back to that gym
O Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)14:31:54 No.895391176 File: 358363543.gif (1.14 MB, 498x424) >>895386946 (OP) >i poo poo myself haha expressive verbiage about childish topic funny xd I hate you lying n------ with a passion so let me tell a real true story >going to the gym one day >always stop by gas station on the way there and get an energy drink >see this new kind that I've never tried before >"C4 Energy" with something called "CarnoSyn" which at the time I did not realize was beta-alanine >why not, buy one to try it >drink it on my way there >check into the gym and start doing back and shoulders >by the time I finish my overhead press I can feel my back starting to tingle >w--.jpg >few minutes later, entire back feels like it's on fire >tingling sensation is now moving into arms and legs >figure the feeling will go away if I do more reps >continue my workout but the sensation only gets stronger >can't even focus anymore, my entire back feels like it's being scraped with rusty nails >can't take it anymore >rip my shirt off and rush over to the water fountain >start spraying my back with ice cold water in front of everyone >gymbunny looking at me, can't tell if she was mirin or in shock >another gymbro comes over and asks me what the f--- I'm doing >can only reply with "IT FEELS LIKE ACID ON MY BACK" >gym owner thought I was high on crack or something >tingling sensation lasts for 3 hours, went to hospital, found out I'm extremely sensitive to beta-alanine >never go back to that gym

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Anon on "blues" f.c | /r/Greentext

Anonymous: 03/05/23(Sun)16:13:50 No.129741019 >Liverpool scored 7 in 90 minutes >Chelsea have scored 7 in 119 days. >>129741116 # Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)16:16:06 No.129741116 >>129741019 # I'll always find time to laugh at Chelsea
Anonymous: 03/05/23(Sun)16:13:50 No.129741019 >Liverpool scored 7 in 90 minutes >Chelsea have scored 7 in 119 days. >>129741116 # Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)16:16:06 No.129741116 >>129741019 # I'll always find time to laugh at Chelsea

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that shit is wild | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: LuqGpVh0) — Pregnancy as "get out of jail (...) Corod 03/06/23 (Mon)17:27:12 No.418679961 OFFICER POLVE POUNTAIN PO CO. FOUNTAIN POLICE Andrea-Serrano.jpg 61 KB JPG 1859 >be woman >r--- a 13 year old boy >get pregnant >mfw i destroyed the boys life and robbed his childhood >mfw i don't have to face jail time, because of pregnancy >mfw i have child custody as a sexual offender And women say they're treated harder than men... Mark my words: the moment he gets 18 years old, she wants him to pay alimony.
: Anonymous (ID: LuqGpVh0) — Pregnancy as "get out of jail (...) Corod 03/06/23 (Mon)17:27:12 No.418679961 OFFICER POLVE POUNTAIN PO CO. FOUNTAIN POLICE Andrea-Serrano.jpg 61 KB JPG 1859 >be woman >r--- a 13 year old boy >get pregnant >mfw i destroyed the boys life and robbed his childhood >mfw i don't have to face jail time, because of pregnancy >mfw i have child custody as a sexual offender And women say they're treated harder than men... Mark my words: the moment he gets 18 years old, she wants him to pay alimony.

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Anon makes hot chocolate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)19:42:04 No.72467650 >retarded >make hot chocolate >too hot :( >impatient >put ice cubes in hot chocolate (see first line for why) >it kinda helps Sometimes, it pays to be mentally challenged
Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)19:42:04 No.72467650 >retarded >make hot chocolate >too hot :( >impatient >put ice cubes in hot chocolate (see first line for why) >it kinda helps Sometimes, it pays to be mentally challenged

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Anon plays TF2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/12(Thu)21.37 No.162690541 [-] ITT Disturbing stuff you've done once during gaming >Playing TF2 >The server is filled with little bratty kids >Get really horny >Decide to lube up my small mic and stick it up my ass while I turn the volume all the way up >The vibrations of their loud voices penetrate me greatly >I start to moan loudly as I begin to masturbate like crazy >The kids begin a shouting match over something stupid >The shouts begin to massage my prostate >l begin to fap harder as their loud voices make me reach climax >Suddenly a little boy playing as a scout approaches me and asks why I'm moaning >I say nothing as I continue to pleasure myself like a dirty w---- >He goes up to me and whispers loudly "stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it >His mere words begin tapping my prostate 1 yell "SAY IT LOUDER, MAKE ME CUMP >He does it louder and louder until I bust the biggest load that hits my c-- rag >I decide to gift the kid a strange holy mackerel >He thanks me greatly >I say "No no, THANK you-" and just leave you guys should really try it though... Anonymous 11/15/12(Thu)21:38 No.162690702 [+]>>162699967 >>162691036 Sweet lording (43 KB, 404x483) indb google
Anonymous 11/15/12(Thu)21.37 No.162690541 [-] ITT Disturbing stuff you've done once during gaming >Playing TF2 >The server is filled with little bratty kids >Get really horny >Decide to lube up my small mic and stick it up my ass while I turn the volume all the way up >The vibrations of their loud voices penetrate me greatly >I start to moan loudly as I begin to masturbate like crazy >The kids begin a shouting match over something stupid >The shouts begin to massage my prostate >l begin to fap harder as their loud voices make me reach climax >Suddenly a little boy playing as a scout approaches me and asks why I'm moaning >I say nothing as I continue to pleasure myself like a dirty w---- >He goes up to me and whispers loudly "stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it >His mere words begin tapping my prostate 1 yell "SAY IT LOUDER, MAKE ME CUMP >He does it louder and louder until I bust the biggest load that hits my c-- rag >I decide to gift the kid a strange holy mackerel >He thanks me greatly >I say "No no, THANK you-" and just leave you guys should really try it though... Anonymous 11/15/12(Thu)21:38 No.162690702 [+]>>162699967 >>162691036 Sweet lording (43 KB, 404x483) indb google

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Anon falls in love, goes full auti5m | /r/Greentext

03/06/23 (Mon)08:32:34 No.895437441 >6'3" and good with talking to women so dating is easy >dates are not terrible but nothing special either >two months ago: match a qt, plan a date, expecting nothing special >meet her, violins start playing in my head, butterflies in my stomach >first time be this nervous with a date Anonymous Pepe, 30 80 KB JPG >objectively 7.5/10, subjectively 100/10 looks and personality >somehow manage a second date >same s--- the second time, brain goes spaghettios >spend all night giving brief answers and asking short questions, clearly failing >after date, she ends things over text >don't respond to her, instead go to 4chan and reddit to get advice on how to salvage: "stop simping and move on" and "respect her decision creep and move on" >unmatch her and move on Except that I have not moved on. I've gotten laid since then too, even post nut clarity says she felt special. One girl that I met twice has been running through my mind for 6 weeks. W--
03/06/23 (Mon)08:32:34 No.895437441 >6'3" and good with talking to women so dating is easy >dates are not terrible but nothing special either >two months ago: match a qt, plan a date, expecting nothing special >meet her, violins start playing in my head, butterflies in my stomach >first time be this nervous with a date Anonymous Pepe, 30 80 KB JPG >objectively 7.5/10, subjectively 100/10 looks and personality >somehow manage a second date >same s--- the second time, brain goes spaghettios >spend all night giving brief answers and asking short questions, clearly failing >after date, she ends things over text >don't respond to her, instead go to 4chan and reddit to get advice on how to salvage: "stop simping and move on" and "respect her decision creep and move on" >unmatch her and move on Except that I have not moved on. I've gotten laid since then too, even post nut clarity says she felt special. One girl that I met twice has been running through my mind for 6 weeks. W--

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A new anon joins | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2022-08-09 6.1(...).png (298 KB, 503x626) O new here Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:03:36 No.895400477 >>895400588 >be me >decide to check out le 4chin >go to the random board >mfw its 90% chicks Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:06:46 No.895400588 >>895400477 (OP) I think you mean 90 percent f-----
File: Screenshot 2022-08-09 6.1(...).png (298 KB, 503x626) O new here Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:03:36 No.895400477 >>895400588 >be me >decide to check out le 4chin >go to the random board >mfw its 90% chicks Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:06:46 No.895400588 >>895400477 (OP) I think you mean 90 percent f-----

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Anon is indian | /r/Greentext


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Anon is based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 115 KB JPG 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.87437280C Worth it >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face
: Anonymous 115 KB JPG 03/13/22(Sun)20:26:44 No.87437280C Worth it >Be me >Two years ago >Friend has his first kid >Friend is white >Baby comes out black with nappy hair >Everyone is uncomfortable as it's obvious his wife cheated >People ignore it like king of the hill >He had a barbecue celebrating his first born" >Show up >Autism over 9000 >"Did you overcook that one?" >Punches me in the face

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Anon is sick | /r/Greentext

EAPOLIS 4804 ov Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:18:40 No.72465444 >fever at 100 feeling dizzy af >gf says shes horny >tell her I am sick multiple times and cannot move >gf starts getting all dolled up randomly >says she is going out with friends >posts on her story that she is with her guy friend >so sick cannot even get mad >sleep till noon >gf not home and wont answer my texts or calls I hate women bros. >>72465477 >>72465639 >>72465702 Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:21:54 No.72465477 ► >>72465529 >>72465444 (OP) rip on the trips of truth. immediately dump her and mssg whichever one of her friends seems the most desperate.
EAPOLIS 4804 ov Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:18:40 No.72465444 >fever at 100 feeling dizzy af >gf says shes horny >tell her I am sick multiple times and cannot move >gf starts getting all dolled up randomly >says she is going out with friends >posts on her story that she is with her guy friend >so sick cannot even get mad >sleep till noon >gf not home and wont answer my texts or calls I hate women bros. >>72465477 >>72465639 >>72465702 Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)09:21:54 No.72465477 ► >>72465529 >>72465444 (OP) rip on the trips of truth. immediately dump her and mssg whichever one of her friends seems the most desperate.

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anon dislike YouTube commentator | /r/Greentext

Some Ordina Gamers The Sonic Creator Has Been Arrested... 13:26 SomeOrdinaryGamers 286K views • 14 hours ago Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)20:24:57 No.72457108 ► >>72457121 >>72457130 YouTube commentators are the most insufferable people on the Internet ☐ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:31:11 No.72457174 | >>72457108 (OP) >Be Pajeet >Makes youtube commentary >Have outlandish retarded take >Makes money >Be you >Cries and whines about X thing is not true >Cries and whines on 4chan and plebbit >Makes no money
Some Ordina Gamers The Sonic Creator Has Been Arrested... 13:26 SomeOrdinaryGamers 286K views • 14 hours ago Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)20:24:57 No.72457108 ► >>72457121 >>72457130 YouTube commentators are the most insufferable people on the Internet ☐ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:31:11 No.72457174 | >>72457108 (OP) >Be Pajeet >Makes youtube commentary >Have outlandish retarded take >Makes money >Be you >Cries and whines about X thing is not true >Cries and whines on 4chan and plebbit >Makes no money

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Quoth the raven | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 03/04/23 (Sat) 07:48:41 No.72445403 >walk outside my flat this morning >hear someone call me a cuck >turn around and look to see who said that >nobodys there >hear the same voice >cuck cuck >look up >its f------ picrel what the f---
: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 03/04/23 (Sat) 07:48:41 No.72445403 >walk outside my flat this morning >hear someone call me a cuck >turn around and look to see who said that >nobodys there >hear the same voice >cuck cuck >look up >its f------ picrel what the f---

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Anon Spitting lowkey | /r/Greentext

I only do this late at night/early morning when there's no traffic. Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)00:21:29 No.26267969 F7E775C5-56AE-42F6-B665-D534CEEC17F2.jpg 386 KB JPG >>26267868 (OP) # >WEEWOOWEEWOO DO YOU KNOW HOW I-L-L-E-G-A-L THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU JUST PULLED WAS? YOU F------ GOD DAMN M-----------. YOU COULDVE F------ KILLED MY WIFES BF'S BIRACIAL DAUGHTER. THINK ABOUT THE HECKIN SAFETY OF OTHERS YOU FREAKING CRIMINALINO!!!!!!!!!!!! >that'll be $500 and 3+hours of your time btw kthxbai
I only do this late at night/early morning when there's no traffic. Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)00:21:29 No.26267969 F7E775C5-56AE-42F6-B665-D534CEEC17F2.jpg 386 KB JPG >>26267868 (OP) # >WEEWOOWEEWOO DO YOU KNOW HOW I-L-L-E-G-A-L THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU JUST PULLED WAS? YOU F------ GOD DAMN M-----------. YOU COULDVE F------ KILLED MY WIFES BF'S BIRACIAL DAUGHTER. THINK ABOUT THE HECKIN SAFETY OF OTHERS YOU FREAKING CRIMINALINO!!!!!!!!!!!! >that'll be $500 and 3+hours of your time btw kthxbai

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It was the devil!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)20:58:27 No.72373689 5ef09ad285600a6a844f5361.jpg 372 KB JPG humans are so funny. they kill animals every day but when it happens to them IT'S DA DEVIL AND HIS DEMONS WAGING A SPIRITUAL WAR OMG Imao so so funny to me
: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)20:58:27 No.72373689 5ef09ad285600a6a844f5361.jpg 372 KB JPG humans are so funny. they kill animals every day but when it happens to them IT'S DA DEVIL AND HIS DEMONS WAGING A SPIRITUAL WAR OMG Imao so so funny to me

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Anon wants to fuck his turtle | /r/Greentext

File: 1648955740175271tm1648955(...).jpg (69 KB, 949x842) O Feels Thread Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:19:31 No.72456857 >>72456920 >>72457246 >>72458118 >Tfw your pet turtle will never become an anime girl >Tfw she will never thank you for taking care of her and feeding her >Tfw she will never cuddle with you >Tfw she will never go to school >Tfw people will never,istake her shell for a backpack >> Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:28:50 No.72456920 >>72456857 (OP) Please don't f--- your turtle anon □ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:09:36 No.72457246 >>72456857 (OP) That's Tank and this is a Barney thread.
File: 1648955740175271tm1648955(...).jpg (69 KB, 949x842) O Feels Thread Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:19:31 No.72456857 >>72456920 >>72457246 >>72458118 >Tfw your pet turtle will never become an anime girl >Tfw she will never thank you for taking care of her and feeding her >Tfw she will never cuddle with you >Tfw she will never go to school >Tfw people will never,istake her shell for a backpack >> Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:28:50 No.72456920 >>72456857 (OP) Please don't f--- your turtle anon □ Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)10:09:36 No.72457246 >>72456857 (OP) That's Tank and this is a Barney thread.

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NOOOO! my ARMy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DLLdFm2C 4 hours ago 1677945516943822.gif (353.9 KB, 500x491) 17168829 > be ARM > invented in 1985 > used only in one line of computers computer built by Acorn > they sold poorly but were amazing computers > spends the next 34 years in mobile devices and microcontrollers > nobody cared > apple decides to use ARM > apple creates nothing revolutionary or amazing > itoddler child molesters convince themselves that the "entire industry" will move to ARM > ~3 years later.. absolutely f------ nothing happened > industry had a laugh and continued on making machines with CPUs that aren't f------ s--- as ARM > apple still can't get more than 20% market share after existing as a company since the mid 1970s amazing progress, itoddlers. maybe by 2050 you'll have 30%? my sides.
Anonymous DLLdFm2C 4 hours ago 1677945516943822.gif (353.9 KB, 500x491) 17168829 > be ARM > invented in 1985 > used only in one line of computers computer built by Acorn > they sold poorly but were amazing computers > spends the next 34 years in mobile devices and microcontrollers > nobody cared > apple decides to use ARM > apple creates nothing revolutionary or amazing > itoddler child molesters convince themselves that the "entire industry" will move to ARM > ~3 years later.. absolutely f------ nothing happened > industry had a laugh and continued on making machines with CPUs that aren't f------ s--- as ARM > apple still can't get more than 20% market share after existing as a company since the mid 1970s amazing progress, itoddlers. maybe by 2050 you'll have 30%? my sides.

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Anon's girlfriend thinks fumos are cringe | /r/Greentext

04/29/21(Thu)00:57:22 No.34494857 My girlfriend called my fumos "hentai stuffed animals". When I tried to explain that Touhou isn't a hentai and explain that Reisen isn't a normal rabbit, she is a moon rabbit who deserted the Lunar Defense Corps during the war of 1969 she didn't even care and said that was cringe. Should I kill myself? 1.12 MB JPG Anonymous >>34494862 # >>34494936 # >>34495099 # >>34495147 # >>34495279 # >>34495592 # >>34498263 # >>34507304 # >>34511682 # >>34527612 #
04/29/21(Thu)00:57:22 No.34494857 My girlfriend called my fumos "hentai stuffed animals". When I tried to explain that Touhou isn't a hentai and explain that Reisen isn't a normal rabbit, she is a moon rabbit who deserted the Lunar Defense Corps during the war of 1969 she didn't even care and said that was cringe. Should I kill myself? 1.12 MB JPG Anonymous >>34494862 # >>34494936 # >>34495099 # >>34495147 # >>34495279 # >>34495592 # >>34498263 # >>34507304 # >>34511682 # >>34527612 #

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anon hacks the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 232 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)19:59:45 No.72456927 > inherit fair amount of cash > buy s----- house which has been converted into 5 small flats > live in one, rent others out > free money for life, property is still entirely mine, get paid for doing nothing > choose tenants carefully > 18-23yo females, crappy jobs, no money, always broke > don't tell them i own the place, pretend i pay rent too, tell them i'm a graphic artist... never made a penny from it in reality > every month they freak out about not having enough to pay their mystery landbaron > i occasionally come to the rescue, offer to pay part/all of their rent that month, as long as i get it back > immediately get given it back without them knowing it, then double when they repay > hero > no longer undersexed Is it true love, /r9k/?
: Anonymous 232 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)19:59:45 No.72456927 > inherit fair amount of cash > buy s----- house which has been converted into 5 small flats > live in one, rent others out > free money for life, property is still entirely mine, get paid for doing nothing > choose tenants carefully > 18-23yo females, crappy jobs, no money, always broke > don't tell them i own the place, pretend i pay rent too, tell them i'm a graphic artist... never made a penny from it in reality > every month they freak out about not having enough to pay their mystery landbaron > i occasionally come to the rescue, offer to pay part/all of their rent that month, as long as i get it back > immediately get given it back without them knowing it, then double when they repay > hero > no longer undersexed Is it true love, /r9k/?

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Does anyone have the story of anon going on autopilot for a week after taking some drugs/medication?...

File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays
File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays

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