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04/29/21(Thu)00:57:22 No.34494857 My girlfriend called my fumos "hentai stuffed animals". When I tried to explain that Touhou isn't a hentai and explain that Reisen isn't a normal rabbit, she is a moon rabbit who deserted the Lunar Defense Corps during the war of 1969 she didn't even care and said that was cringe. Should I kill myself? 1.12 MB JPG Anonymous >>34494862 # >>34494936 # >>34495099 # >>34495147 # >>34495279 # >>34495592 # >>34498263 # >>34507304 # >>34511682 # >>34527612 #

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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anon hacks the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 232 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)19:59:45 No.72456927 > inherit fair amount of cash > buy s----- house which has been converted into 5 small flats > live in one, rent others out > free money for life, property is still entirely mine, get paid for doing nothing > choose tenants carefully > 18-23yo females, crappy jobs, no money, always broke > don't tell them i own the place, pretend i pay rent too, tell them i'm a graphic artist... never made a penny from it in reality > every month they freak out about not having enough to pay their mystery landbaron > i occasionally come to the rescue, offer to pay part/all of their rent that month, as long as i get it back > immediately get given it back without them knowing it, then double when they repay > hero > no longer undersexed Is it true love, /r9k/?

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Does anyone have the story of anon going on autopilot for a week after taking some drugs/medication? At the end he said that he was a crane operator or something similar | /r/Greentext

File: gettyimages-1133279591.jpg (284 KB, 1600x1067) 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:42:33 No.178661609>>178661988 >>178662195 >>178662219 >>178662344 Anonymous >Be tiny French town in the 1980s >Garfield phones wash up on the shore >No one knows where they're from >35 years pass, Garfield phones constantly wash ashore >Finally locate a shipping container on the bottom of the ocean that's wedged between rocks and is leaking Garfield phones >Government says it's cheaper to let the phones wash ashore and remove them than to remove the crate >Town just has to deal with Garfield phones for the foreseeable future Anonymous 03/03/23 (Fri) 20:57:36 No.178661988 ► >>178666095 >>178661609 (OP) # I hate Monays

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Anon likes fat girls | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/10/21(Fri)22:19:00 No.66508853 48 KB JPG >be me >23 >never had a gf before >decide to put into plan a basic idea I had years ago >only go after fat girls >spend a lot of time looking at very good looking women online who used to be fat >can now tell easily whether a fat woman would be very attractive if she lost the weight >fat girls are easier to date, they're most of my tinder matches, they're the ones who react the most positively to cold approaching >find a literal 10/10 a---- goddess but she's tall and fat, looks like s--- but you can tell there's potential under all that fat >ask her out and she says yes, very enthusiastic about it, have very pleasant date >lose my virginity to her, she was also a virgin (something i found to be very common among fat girls compared to other girls) >talk her into starting to go to the gym with me, first phase >then talk her into changing her diet, second phase >in a few months she loses most of the weight >now i have an extremely loyal and loving 10/10 gf who I'm probably going to marry >mfw i beat the game Tbf my stats aren't that bad and I'm definitely not Chad material.

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Anon drives home from work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)20:38:48 No.72459486 >be me, driving home from work late at night >need to fart >turns out its not a fart, its nasty ass diarrhea >oh well, ill be home soon >get pulled off by police like 30 secs later >cop tells me to roll down my car window >instantly gets hit with the smell of liquid s--- >asks w-- is that smell, i tell him the truth - i s--- myself > he looks at me with a disgusted look on his face, tells me to go >oh well, ill be home soon and at least its pretty late >park in front of apartment, 4 neighbors are sitting on the porch for whatever goddamn reason >they act like they didnt notice but i know they did >run home asap to clean my s--- ridden jeans Im pretty sure the whole building knows i s--- myself, everyone is acting strange and awkward when they see me. Also, i still have diarrhea

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anon is a femanon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)22:57:48 No.72458636 346780822072211.png 1.85 MB PNG >be me >femanon >fembot >cisgender female >vagina between my legs >bleed once a month out of my uterus >did i mention i was assigned female at birth >did i mention i was a girl >wheres my 300 reply thread : Anonymous >>72458636 (OP) # here's your first (You) 03/05/23(Sun)22:58:42 No.72458641

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Fly the Nest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)07:35:39 No.72456976 What's the most retarded and quirky thing a woman has ever done to you? >be me 17 >ex-gf with big boobs just turned 18 (severally autistic and carried a bunch of ex-boyfriend baggage) >we were having casual sex >starts making jokes about how she's a p-------- now >starts doing mommy roleplay and calling me her 366 KB JPG son >one day at school I tell her to cool it with the p--- jokes >she tries to kill herself by overdosing on her antidepressants the same day >tries to blame her attempt on me because I didn't love her enough >break up with her later on

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Hired help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 03/05/23(Sun)10:17:07 No.72458509 >be me, 26, no gf, no friends, started living on my own 5 months ago >started visiting a brothel 4 months ago after I reached a mental low point since being alone in an empty apartment really confronted me with my social situation >frequenting the brothel made fear about sex and women fade for the most part >used to last 30 sec to barely a minute fapping, now last 10 minutes easily as p--- stopped being exciting >getting all the cuddles and kisses Ive craved for so long >still not great at sex but slowly making little improvements, which the hookers remark to me >met a new qt chubbo arab h----- last week, super chill and honest girl >visited her again yesterday >it clicks so well between us we went 15 minutes overtime "on the house" >feeling less lonely, more confident, more masculine, less bored, g----------- every 2 weeks also works as a good reminder for grooming and haircuts >tfw visiting hookers actually has a positive influence on my life Any robot should give it a shot.

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Anon's sister is a big fan | /r/Greentext

This thread just reminded me >family Christmas party circa 2014-15 >sister's husband and kids head home early while she stays to drink and chat with some cousins >sometime close to midnight, she's very drunk and asks for a ride to her house >offer to drop her off on my way back to my apt >wasn't as drunk but really should not have been driving >she's yammering and jabbering drunkenly the whole way >say something like "damn [sister] you're drunk as a skunk right now!" >she suddenly confides in me that she had the biggest crush on Pepe Le Pew when she was younger and would wish constantly that he would chase her around and smooch her >start laughing >we're both laughing now >joke that she should try lying back and imagining her husband is Pepe Le Pew next time they do it (kind of a gross quip but again, I was drunk) >she meekly admits she actually does sometimes >quickly change the subject for a bit before getting to her house and dropping her off >my f------ face the whole way home I think (hope) she was too drunk to remember that because it's never come up again at any point since. Berry, if you're in this thread, yeah I admit I am still kind of embarrassed for you.

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Anon is a racist trumpy | /r/Greentext

File: Engineerava.jpg (20 KB, 146x146) Anonymous 01/04/16(Mon)01:46:55 No.661277454 ITT: Best online gaming experiences >Playing TF2 >Set my name to President Donald Trump >Join red team >Start talking to the guys on my team >Start saying we need to build a wall to keep the terrorists out >Entire team becomes engineers >We fortify the everloving s--- out of our intel room with sentry guns and dispensers >Entire game I was the top player on my team >Vote kicked a kid on our team who said he was Mexican

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Anon slipped up | /r/Greentext

: ENTJ H-------- im retarded 42 KB JPG >>72455247 # : Anonymous >>72455190 (OP) # youre prolly a n----- urself so its fine. kys n----- btw : ENTJ >>72455282 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:07:08 No.72455190 I spent all weekend on /r9k and went out in public for the first time to fill up gas and I accidentally called the cashier a n----- : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)20:11:56 No.72455232 >>72455232 # Yeah but im also hot so I can pretty much get away with anything >>72455247 # >yeah but I'm hot Shut up n----- 03/05/23(Sun)20:14:15 No.72455247 03/05/23(Sun)20:19:19 No.72455282

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anon is destined to face Chris Hansen with the dateline production team and popo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.46 MB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)20:27:00 No.72457124 Guys help I'm scared and dont know what to do. Here is my story. >Parents charging stupid amounts for rent ($400 a month) so I really want to move out. >saw and add on Craigslist for a bedroom in a apartment >single mom with girl >the deal was that you have to pick the girl up and babysit her for 4 days out of the week and you live their for free >send email for s---- >person replies back in 10 mins and they want to meet this sunday I feel like i should meet up but I dont know if this is a good idea. : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # Are you sure they wont try to kill you >>72457364 # 03/05/23(Sun)20:39:32 No.72457245 pizza delivery anon : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # 400 a month is Jack f------ s---. 03/05/23(Sun)20:40:36 No.72457255 03/05/23(Sun)20:41:58 No.72457264 03/05/23(Sun)20:44:49 No.72457286 : Anonymous >>72457124 (OP) # what kind of careless mother leaves her daughter with some random dude from craigslist for 4 days a week. sounds like an FBI honeypot to catch pedos. i hope they get you anon

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Anon goes to r/greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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Greentext Stories - Anon's girlfriend thinks fumos are cringe | /r/Greentext

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04/29/21(Thu)00:57:22 No.34494857 My girlfriend called my fumos "hentai stuffed animals". When I tried to explain that Touhou isn't a hentai and explain that Reisen isn't a normal rabbit, she is a moon rabbit who deserted the Lunar Defense Corps during the war of 1969 she didn't even care and said that was cringe. Should I kill myself? 1.12 MB JPG Anonymous >>34494862 # >>34494936 # >>34495099 # >>34495147 # >>34495279 # >>34495592 # >>34498263 # >>34507304 # >>34511682 # >>34527612 #

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