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anon is having some problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)10:41:58 No.893580701 >been playing ffxiv >never cared about talking in chat just do dailies then log out >some people found me and I join there guild >they started talking with me a lot >somehow I came out of my shell and made friends with them >started getting a lot of attention and I became an attention w---- >everything is good for 2 years >then a new player join us >for some reason everyone likes them and they call them cute and s--- >was annoyed by them but I just ignored them >after 1 year they still giving them all the attention >got fed up left and sent that guy a message telling how I feel about them >got sent a message in discord from "friends" telling me that Im messed up and I'm irritable to talk with am I a loser? Yes do I care? not really I'm more annoyed than anything over all this a 3 years old relationship got destroyed in a few days so just wanted to vent and yes I know that it my fault
Anonymous 33 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)10:41:58 No.893580701 >been playing ffxiv >never cared about talking in chat just do dailies then log out >some people found me and I join there guild >they started talking with me a lot >somehow I came out of my shell and made friends with them >started getting a lot of attention and I became an attention w---- >everything is good for 2 years >then a new player join us >for some reason everyone likes them and they call them cute and s--- >was annoyed by them but I just ignored them >after 1 year they still giving them all the attention >got fed up left and sent that guy a message telling how I feel about them >got sent a message in discord from "friends" telling me that Im messed up and I'm irritable to talk with am I a loser? Yes do I care? not really I'm more annoyed than anything over all this a 3 years old relationship got destroyed in a few days so just wanted to vent and yes I know that it my fault

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Anon's niece is weied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)18:08:54 No.893587620 >Be me >Have 9 year old niece >Catch her watching Baby Kata, specifically that one song about him s------- himself or whatever >I see her sidebar is full of videos about singing and talking poop or babies >Go through her search history >It's full of that kind of s---, literally. >I sit her down and tell her kindly that it's kinda weird that you watch all these poop videos on YouTube >The little bitch starts crying >Her parents burst into the room and yell at me >I explain what happened and that I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings 10 KB JPG >They aren't having it and kick me out of the house >Fast forward to 7 years later >Mfw I walk in on her watching scat p---
: Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)18:08:54 No.893587620 >Be me >Have 9 year old niece >Catch her watching Baby Kata, specifically that one song about him s------- himself or whatever >I see her sidebar is full of videos about singing and talking poop or babies >Go through her search history >It's full of that kind of s---, literally. >I sit her down and tell her kindly that it's kinda weird that you watch all these poop videos on YouTube >The little bitch starts crying >Her parents burst into the room and yell at me >I explain what happened and that I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings 10 KB JPG >They aren't having it and kick me out of the house >Fast forward to 7 years later >Mfw I walk in on her watching scat p---

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Anon the cryptolord | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: W5nfWOLC 211 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)11:54:40 No.53507737 >be me >have 0 investment or financial knowledge whatsoever >invest 300 USD in random shitcoins on etoro 2 years ago. >forget about it >open account a month ago >900 dollars worth of trashcoins. >cashout and get 750 after taxes >cant complain : Anonymous (ID: rKUN1cQJ 01/31/23(Tue)11:56:25 No.53507751 >>53507737 (OP) # nice work probably outperformed most of the board.... what was the ticker?
Anonymous (ID: W5nfWOLC 211 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)11:54:40 No.53507737 >be me >have 0 investment or financial knowledge whatsoever >invest 300 USD in random shitcoins on etoro 2 years ago. >forget about it >open account a month ago >900 dollars worth of trashcoins. >cashout and get 750 after taxes >cant complain : Anonymous (ID: rKUN1cQJ 01/31/23(Tue)11:56:25 No.53507751 >>53507737 (OP) # nice work probably outperformed most of the board.... what was the ticker?

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Anon calls a bar | /r/Greentext

>call up local bar >"Hey I'm looking for a Mr and Mrs Wall" >few minutes pass >"Nobody here by that name mate" >"No walls there? >"No mate no walls here" >"THEN WHAT'S HOLDING UP YOUR ROOF" HAHAHAHAHAHA
>call up local bar >"Hey I'm looking for a Mr and Mrs Wall" >few minutes pass >"Nobody here by that name mate" >"No walls there? >"No mate no walls here" >"THEN WHAT'S HOLDING UP YOUR ROOF" HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Anon has mastered manifesting his reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/07/21(Sat)01:28:50 No.64868811 >about 5 years ago >make girl in sims 4 >f------ perfect >give her a name and a back story >imagine she has a little mole on her hip you can only see when her shirt rides up >few years later >get roommate >dead ringer for sims 4 girl >lifting box into closet >shirt rides up >its the f------ mole W-- is going on?
: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/07/21(Sat)01:28:50 No.64868811 >about 5 years ago >make girl in sims 4 >f------ perfect >give her a name and a back story >imagine she has a little mole on her hip you can only see when her shirt rides up >few years later >get roommate >dead ringer for sims 4 girl >lifting box into closet >shirt rides up >its the f------ mole W-- is going on?

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Anon loves mama mia | /r/Greentext

apeau de la France[1].png (66 KB, 220x221) Anonymous 09/03/14(Wed)19:43:47 No.2969 >>29700838 >>29700861 >>29700969 >>29701506>>29702088 >most beautiful language in the world >warm climate >beautiful countryside >picturesque cities >attractive women >one of the richest artistic heritages in the world >best food in Europe >best-dressed people in Europe That's right, it's time for an Italy thread. Pic unrelated Showing all replies.
apeau de la France[1].png (66 KB, 220x221) Anonymous 09/03/14(Wed)19:43:47 No.2969 >>29700838 >>29700861 >>29700969 >>29701506>>29702088 >most beautiful language in the world >warm climate >beautiful countryside >picturesque cities >attractive women >one of the richest artistic heritages in the world >best food in Europe >best-dressed people in Europe That's right, it's time for an Italy thread. Pic unrelated Showing all replies.

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I can hold the door for you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How to deal with looking like (...) 22 KB JPG 08/17/21(Tue)12:49:08 No.63076815 >Be me >Deadlift stooge >6'4 280 lbs >leave the gym after a comfy lift and swim >qt cardio bunny mirin as I'm headed out >next day go gym >qt there again >decide to approach her with confidence >"you look like Hodor" How does one recover from this?
Anonymous How to deal with looking like (...) 22 KB JPG 08/17/21(Tue)12:49:08 No.63076815 >Be me >Deadlift stooge >6'4 280 lbs >leave the gym after a comfy lift and swim >qt cardio bunny mirin as I'm headed out >next day go gym >qt there again >decide to approach her with confidence >"you look like Hodor" How does one recover from this?

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Anon plays Dead Space | /r/Greentext

DELUXE BATHROOMS TNTLY LIMITED TO (3) MINUTE 0635961E-B2BA-422C-AB2A-4744ECB6DD8C.jpg 170 KB JPG >Trans bathroom >Someone is hanging from the ceiling
DELUXE BATHROOMS TNTLY LIMITED TO (3) MINUTE 0635961E-B2BA-422C-AB2A-4744ECB6DD8C.jpg 170 KB JPG >Trans bathroom >Someone is hanging from the ceiling

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Anon wants to have daughters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/30/23 (Mon)18:07:34 No.626053256 >>626053498 >>626053805 >>626054078 >>626054153 >>626054212 >>626055330 >> >Your daughter contains 50% of your genes >Your daughter you have with your daughter will contain 75% of your genes >Keep doing this until you die to leave an offspring with as close to your genes as possible >This is somehow considered wrong and against nature when evolution dictates you pass on as much of your genes as possible. Anonymous 01/30/23(Mon)18-09-31 No 626053427 676054365
Anonymous 01/30/23 (Mon)18:07:34 No.626053256 >>626053498 >>626053805 >>626054078 >>626054153 >>626054212 >>626055330 >> >Your daughter contains 50% of your genes >Your daughter you have with your daughter will contain 75% of your genes >Keep doing this until you die to leave an offspring with as close to your genes as possible >This is somehow considered wrong and against nature when evolution dictates you pass on as much of your genes as possible. Anonymous 01/30/23(Mon)18-09-31 No 626053427 676054365

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don't stop | /r/Greentext

File: 1387332734498.jpg-(6 KB, 246x205, images (6).jpg) Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)19:12:14 UTC-7 No.521945124 Replies: >>521946629 >>521946884 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomething something >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers [Autism Intensifies] >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >I offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling." >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad...?"
File: 1387332734498.jpg-(6 KB, 246x205, images (6).jpg) Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)19:12:14 UTC-7 No.521945124 Replies: >>521946629 >>521946884 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomething something >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers [Autism Intensifies] >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >I offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling." >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad...?"

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Anon likes bald men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4LDU7w4x) Is Andrew Tate the most remark(...) 44 KB JPG 01/29/23(Sun)23:16:48 No.414170060 >total nobody in his 20's, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising influencer just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma >created the most gigantic following in internet history from scratch >created an entire university from scratch >exposed the matrix to billions >gave defeated and demoralised men their faith and confidence back >told men they're the best people in the world in a time they are considered a joke >literally risked his own life in kickboxing for his nation >whenever he speaks the crowd become f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered women all of the world >withstood the entire matrix alone with his brother >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second until his arrest Seriously, is he even human? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower. He is the closest someone ever came to Nietzsches Übermensch.
: Anonymous (ID: 4LDU7w4x) Is Andrew Tate the most remark(...) 44 KB JPG 01/29/23(Sun)23:16:48 No.414170060 >total nobody in his 20's, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising influencer just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma >created the most gigantic following in internet history from scratch >created an entire university from scratch >exposed the matrix to billions >gave defeated and demoralised men their faith and confidence back >told men they're the best people in the world in a time they are considered a joke >literally risked his own life in kickboxing for his nation >whenever he speaks the crowd become f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered women all of the world >withstood the entire matrix alone with his brother >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second until his arrest Seriously, is he even human? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower. He is the closest someone ever came to Nietzsches Übermensch.

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Anon is gender affirmist | /r/Greentext

Gender Affirmist 01/30/23(Mon)19:04:18 No.893561575 >be me >want to make more money >decide to cut off all male workers >get more female (lower wages) >decide f--- it, i want trans women (strength of man, but must take lower wages of woman) 27 KB JPG >advertise gender affirming work environment >get more monies for myself whilst also having bitches to look at all day i beat the system
Gender Affirmist 01/30/23(Mon)19:04:18 No.893561575 >be me >want to make more money >decide to cut off all male workers >get more female (lower wages) >decide f--- it, i want trans women (strength of man, but must take lower wages of woman) 27 KB JPG >advertise gender affirming work environment >get more monies for myself whilst also having bitches to look at all day i beat the system

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Anon gets r*ped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Share stories you shouldn't re(...) 6 KB JPG 06/21/21(Mon)12:11:05 No.147154827 6 Replies / 1 Image >Be me, 14 >Parents leave me at Persian family friends house for a week bc funeral > She says "I always wanted a cute blond son :))" >She keeps bear hugging and squeezing me every time I walk past, >She gave me tea while we were watching tv >don't remember anything else after that except driving home >MFW >MFW View Thread
Anonymous Share stories you shouldn't re(...) 6 KB JPG 06/21/21(Mon)12:11:05 No.147154827 6 Replies / 1 Image >Be me, 14 >Parents leave me at Persian family friends house for a week bc funeral > She says "I always wanted a cute blond son :))" >She keeps bear hugging and squeezing me every time I walk past, >She gave me tea while we were watching tv >don't remember anything else after that except driving home >MFW >MFW View Thread

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You guys know you can just lie right. Just say that you’re religious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...
Anonymous 62 KB JPG 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...

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Anon drives home for dinner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >I drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #
: Anonymous 03/08/17(Wed)22:02:56 No.724775776 >drive a creepy r--- van equipped with twin hadley air horns. >pull up behind 16 year old girl in a early 90's vw cabriolet. >at a red light. >she's not paying attention and texting on her phone. >think it would be funny to make her jump. >blast my horns. >she panics and floors it right into the busy intersection without looking. >gets t-boned be a full sized chevy truck doing 45mph. >she never stood a chance. >I drove away slowly, went home and ate dinner. >>724775862 # >>724775992 #

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anon is quiet | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1 12 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)04:57:29 No.893559971 >be the only black guy in the majority of classes all through school >sit next to qt white girl >one day asks "why aren't you like normal black people" >get mad and ask what she means >"you know like loud" >class lets out and immediately see two black people fighting >oh
: Anonymous 1 12 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)04:57:29 No.893559971 >be the only black guy in the majority of classes all through school >sit next to qt white girl >one day asks "why aren't you like normal black people" >get mad and ask what she means >"you know like loud" >class lets out and immediately see two black people fighting >oh

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Chad anon has dating advice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 180 KB JPG 01/30/23(Mon)13:12:30 No.893544369 >used to be a failure on dating apps but have quality pics, interesting experiences, and better luck on apps now >6'3" helps a lot too I am here to answer your big question: why are women so s----- on dating apps? >be me, get lots of matches and likes >start g----------- >some women take me out on dates, pay for dinner and everything >after a while, stop seeing them as people >they're like memes, there's always another so don't care >spending effort on charming small talks feels tedious >no one stands out, romantic life is a chore It's not their fault brethren. When you get so much simping, no one stands out, no one feels special. In fact, it all feels tiring and pointless. my advice is, if she doesn't show you interest from the first message, it's not worth it, you're already just one of the many meme pics on her app. Move on, spend your energy only when its reciprocated, otherwise just die a virgin instead of dancing like an entertaining monkey just to get a "hey" from her.
Anonymous 180 KB JPG 01/30/23(Mon)13:12:30 No.893544369 >used to be a failure on dating apps but have quality pics, interesting experiences, and better luck on apps now >6'3" helps a lot too I am here to answer your big question: why are women so s----- on dating apps? >be me, get lots of matches and likes >start g----------- >some women take me out on dates, pay for dinner and everything >after a while, stop seeing them as people >they're like memes, there's always another so don't care >spending effort on charming small talks feels tedious >no one stands out, romantic life is a chore It's not their fault brethren. When you get so much simping, no one stands out, no one feels special. In fact, it all feels tiring and pointless. my advice is, if she doesn't show you interest from the first message, it's not worth it, you're already just one of the many meme pics on her app. Move on, spend your energy only when its reciprocated, otherwise just die a virgin instead of dancing like an entertaining monkey just to get a "hey" from her.

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Anons need a rest | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/20/19(Thu)18:21:56 No.116912236 Anonymous A0B8A20F-CF44-4A90-9CB6-5530F04A90B1.jpg 248 KB.JPG >>116910163 (OP) # Let me lay here for a sec lads >>116912326 # >>116914291 # >>116915705 # : Anonymous 06/20/19(Thu)18:36:29 No.116912726 Nah bro go ahead take a load off.jpg 497 KB JPG >>116912326 # Hey guys, got room for one more? 06/20/19(Thu)18:24:31 No.116912326 1549040522625.jpg 323 KB JPG >>116912236 # I'm gonna join you, hope you don't mind. Anonymous >>116912726 # >>116913922 # >>116914291 # >>116915705 # S 06/20/19(Thu)18:51:23 No.116913238 4G.jpg 138 KB JPG >>116912946 # Go ahead bro, the more the merrier >>116913756 # >>116913922 # >>116913957 # >>116914291 #
: Anonymous 06/20/19(Thu)18:21:56 No.116912236 Anonymous A0B8A20F-CF44-4A90-9CB6-5530F04A90B1.jpg 248 KB.JPG >>116910163 (OP) # Let me lay here for a sec lads >>116912326 # >>116914291 # >>116915705 # : Anonymous 06/20/19(Thu)18:36:29 No.116912726 Nah bro go ahead take a load off.jpg 497 KB JPG >>116912326 # Hey guys, got room for one more? 06/20/19(Thu)18:24:31 No.116912326 1549040522625.jpg 323 KB JPG >>116912236 # I'm gonna join you, hope you don't mind. Anonymous >>116912726 # >>116913922 # >>116914291 # >>116915705 # S 06/20/19(Thu)18:51:23 No.116913238 4G.jpg 138 KB JPG >>116912946 # Go ahead bro, the more the merrier >>116913756 # >>116913922 # >>116913957 # >>116914291 #

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Anon is the reason rules are made | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:04:21 No.625269960 >>625270074 >>625270132 1656898247190.png (586 KB, 400x580) google yandex iqdb wait YU-JO FRIENDSHIP SV 81332143 V Emil [SPELL CARD] LIMITED EDITION JUMP-EN007 Offer your opponent a handshake. If they accept your handshake, each player's Life Points become half the combined Life Points of both players. you have "Unity" in your hand and show it to your opponent, they must accept the handshake. 1996 KAZUKI TAKAHASHI >play this card >have Unity >immediately stick my hand inside my anus, wriggle it around in there for a bit and pop it out >offer you a handshake you cant refuse Well? You dont want to be disqualified, right? Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:06:17 No.625270132 ✓ >>625269960 Judges ruled a long ass time ago that the handshake was simply verbal because of weirdos like you.
Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:04:21 No.625269960 >>625270074 >>625270132 1656898247190.png (586 KB, 400x580) google yandex iqdb wait YU-JO FRIENDSHIP SV 81332143 V Emil [SPELL CARD] LIMITED EDITION JUMP-EN007 Offer your opponent a handshake. If they accept your handshake, each player's Life Points become half the combined Life Points of both players. you have "Unity" in your hand and show it to your opponent, they must accept the handshake. 1996 KAZUKI TAKAHASHI >play this card >have Unity >immediately stick my hand inside my anus, wriggle it around in there for a bit and pop it out >offer you a handshake you cant refuse Well? You dont want to be disqualified, right? Anonymous 01/23/23(Mon)14:06:17 No.625270132 ✓ >>625269960 Judges ruled a long ass time ago that the handshake was simply verbal because of weirdos like you.

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Anon finds Reddit for the first time. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.78605778 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw
: Anonymous 83 KB JPG 11/28/18 (Wed)18:37:23 No.78605778 >be me >go on Reddit >see that a post has gold and silver >wot.jpg >ffw a few weeks >see a post that made me laugh >click on button to give gold >a menu comes up to buy gold >confusion.jpg >click on buy gold >asks for a payment method >what the f--- >some f------ actually spend money to give a medal to posts and comments that they enjoy >mfw

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