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: Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)18:08:54 No.893587620 >Be me >Have 9 year old niece >Catch her watching Baby Kata, specifically that one song about him s------- himself or whatever >I see her sidebar is full of videos about singing and talking poop or babies >Go through her search history >It's full of that kind of s---, literally. >I sit her down and tell her kindly that it's kinda weird that you watch all these poop videos on YouTube >The little bitch starts crying >Her parents burst into the room and yell at me >I explain what happened and that I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings 10 KB JPG >They aren't having it and kick me out of the house >Fast forward to 7 years later >Mfw I walk in on her watching scat p---

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon the cryptolord | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: W5nfWOLC 211 KB JPG 01/31/23(Tue)11:54:40 No.53507737 >be me >have 0 investment or financial knowledge whatsoever >invest 300 USD in random shitcoins on etoro 2 years ago. >forget about it >open account a month ago >900 dollars worth of trashcoins. >cashout and get 750 after taxes >cant complain : Anonymous (ID: rKUN1cQJ 01/31/23(Tue)11:56:25 No.53507751 >>53507737 (OP) # nice work probably outperformed most of the board.... what was the ticker?

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Anon calls a bar | /r/Greentext

>call up local bar >"Hey I'm looking for a Mr and Mrs Wall" >few minutes pass >"Nobody here by that name mate" >"No walls there? >"No mate no walls here" >"THEN WHAT'S HOLDING UP YOUR ROOF" HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Anon has mastered manifesting his reality | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 08/07/21(Sat)01:28:50 No.64868811 >about 5 years ago >make girl in sims 4 >f------ perfect >give her a name and a back story >imagine she has a little mole on her hip you can only see when her shirt rides up >few years later >get roommate >dead ringer for sims 4 girl >lifting box into closet >shirt rides up >its the f------ mole W-- is going on?

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Anon loves mama mia | /r/Greentext

apeau de la France[1].png (66 KB, 220x221) Anonymous 09/03/14(Wed)19:43:47 No.2969 >>29700838 >>29700861 >>29700969 >>29701506>>29702088 >most beautiful language in the world >warm climate >beautiful countryside >picturesque cities >attractive women >one of the richest artistic heritages in the world >best food in Europe >best-dressed people in Europe That's right, it's time for an Italy thread. Pic unrelated Showing all replies.

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I can hold the door for you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How to deal with looking like (...) 22 KB JPG 08/17/21(Tue)12:49:08 No.63076815 >Be me >Deadlift stooge >6'4 280 lbs >leave the gym after a comfy lift and swim >qt cardio bunny mirin as I'm headed out >next day go gym >qt there again >decide to approach her with confidence >"you look like Hodor" How does one recover from this?

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Anon plays Dead Space | /r/Greentext

DELUXE BATHROOMS TNTLY LIMITED TO (3) MINUTE 0635961E-B2BA-422C-AB2A-4744ECB6DD8C.jpg 170 KB JPG >Trans bathroom >Someone is hanging from the ceiling

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Anon wants to have daughters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/30/23 (Mon)18:07:34 No.626053256 >>626053498 >>626053805 >>626054078 >>626054153 >>626054212 >>626055330 >> >Your daughter contains 50% of your genes >Your daughter you have with your daughter will contain 75% of your genes >Keep doing this until you die to leave an offspring with as close to your genes as possible >This is somehow considered wrong and against nature when evolution dictates you pass on as much of your genes as possible. Anonymous 01/30/23(Mon)18-09-31 No 626053427 676054365

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don't stop | /r/Greentext

File: 1387332734498.jpg-(6 KB, 246x205, images (6).jpg) Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)19:12:14 UTC-7 No.521945124 Replies: >>521946629 >>521946884 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomething something >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers [Autism Intensifies] >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee." >Soundsgood.jpeg >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >I offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling." >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad...?"

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Anon likes bald men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 4LDU7w4x) Is Andrew Tate the most remark(...) 44 KB JPG 01/29/23(Sun)23:16:48 No.414170060 >total nobody in his 20's, no connections, no wealth >became the most promising influencer just 10 years later with nothing but his charisma >created the most gigantic following in internet history from scratch >created an entire university from scratch >exposed the matrix to billions >gave defeated and demoralised men their faith and confidence back >told men they're the best people in the world in a time they are considered a joke >literally risked his own life in kickboxing for his nation >whenever he speaks the crowd become f------ ecstatic, almost like under a spell >conquered women all of the world >withstood the entire matrix alone with his brother >still lost due to betrayal >went down fighting till the last second until his arrest Seriously, is he even human? There must have been demonic possession involved or aliens or some s--- because there is no way that 1 person can achieve so f------ much in a single lifetime and have such a titanic willpower. He is the closest someone ever came to Nietzsches Übermensch.

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Anon is gender affirmist | /r/Greentext

Gender Affirmist 01/30/23(Mon)19:04:18 No.893561575 >be me >want to make more money >decide to cut off all male workers >get more female (lower wages) >decide f--- it, i want trans women (strength of man, but must take lower wages of woman) 27 KB JPG >advertise gender affirming work environment >get more monies for myself whilst also having bitches to look at all day i beat the system

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Anon gets r*ped | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Share stories you shouldn't re(...) 6 KB JPG 06/21/21(Mon)12:11:05 No.147154827 6 Replies / 1 Image >Be me, 14 >Parents leave me at Persian family friends house for a week bc funeral > She says "I always wanted a cute blond son :))" >She keeps bear hugging and squeezing me every time I walk past, >She gave me tea while we were watching tv >don't remember anything else after that except driving home >MFW >MFW View Thread

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You guys know you can just lie right. Just say that you’re religious | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 10/14/21(Thu)00:44:08 No.63920067 >Go to the doctor for physical >Have to see female nurse practitioner, because regular doctor is out >Are you sexually active Anon? >Tell her no >Smiles I didn't just mean recently anon, some stds can remain dormant you know? >Give her blank stare >She immediately transitions to somberly questioning me on my mental health Sigh...

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Greentext Stories - Anon's niece is weied | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 01/31/23(Tue)18:08:54 No.893587620 >Be me >Have 9 year old niece >Catch her watching Baby Kata, specifically that one song about him s------- himself or whatever >I see her sidebar is full of videos about singing and talking poop or babies >Go through her search history >It's full of that kind of s---, literally. >I sit her down and tell her kindly that it's kinda weird that you watch all these poop videos on YouTube >The little bitch starts crying >Her parents burst into the room and yell at me >I explain what happened and that I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings 10 KB JPG >They aren't having it and kick me out of the house >Fast forward to 7 years later >Mfw I walk in on her watching scat p---

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