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Only in America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I saw them 338 KB PNG >Be me, American >Driving at night >Its dark af 12/19/24(Thu)14:56:04 No.79801779 >See all the way up the road >There are two white orbs heading towards me >w--.jpeg >Keep driving >They pass me Guys did I just see aliens?
Anonymous I saw them 338 KB PNG >Be me, American >Driving at night >Its dark af 12/19/24(Thu)14:56:04 No.79801779 >See all the way up the road >There are two white orbs heading towards me >w--.jpeg >Keep driving >They pass me Guys did I just see aliens?

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Anon does a little political trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today
: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon has regrets and looking for suggestions | /r/Greentext

12/18/24(Wed)02:55:07 No.79783950 Anonymous >get horny >think about mom sexually >c-- fattest load in my life. >talk to her like normal >feel regret >repeat What do? >>79786938 # Anonymous >>79783950 # Stop feeling regret. 12/18/24(Wed) 08:22:20 No.79786938 I do the same things you do, but I don't regret it. God forbid someone finds my mom attractive.
12/18/24(Wed)02:55:07 No.79783950 Anonymous >get horny >think about mom sexually >c-- fattest load in my life. >talk to her like normal >feel regret >repeat What do? >>79786938 # Anonymous >>79783950 # Stop feeling regret. 12/18/24(Wed) 08:22:20 No.79786938 I do the same things you do, but I don't regret it. God forbid someone finds my mom attractive.

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Anon feels sorry for Assad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vm0vlq6f 12/19/24(Thu)11:51:30 No.491811503 The Russian Foreign Ministry reportedly confirmed that Bashar al-Assad and his family have been granted asylum under the following conditions 1. Bashar is strictly prohibited from engaging in political activity or leaving Moscow without prior approval from Russian authorities 2. Asma al-Assad filed for divorce through a Russian court and requested permission to leave Moscow for London her request is still under review 3. Bashar is barred from accessing or managing his movable and immovable assets until a decision is made by the relevant authorities His assets in Russia include: 270 kilogram of gold, $2 billion, and partments in the "City of Capitals compies located in Moscow's prestigious skyscraper district 4 Maber al-Assad has not yet been granted asylum his request remains under review. He and his family are currently under house arrest Assad loses power Wife files for divorce many such a cases 88 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: b6DVRcHf) >>491811503 (OP) # >lose your country >become a slave to russia >lose your bitch >lose your money bro had a really bad week 12/19/24(Thu)11:52:56 No.491811573 >>491811822 # >>491814307 # >>491814375 # >>491814595 # >>491816159 # >>491817378 # >>491818069 # >>491819645 # >>491820539 #
Anonymous (ID: vm0vlq6f 12/19/24(Thu)11:51:30 No.491811503 The Russian Foreign Ministry reportedly confirmed that Bashar al-Assad and his family have been granted asylum under the following conditions 1. Bashar is strictly prohibited from engaging in political activity or leaving Moscow without prior approval from Russian authorities 2. Asma al-Assad filed for divorce through a Russian court and requested permission to leave Moscow for London her request is still under review 3. Bashar is barred from accessing or managing his movable and immovable assets until a decision is made by the relevant authorities His assets in Russia include: 270 kilogram of gold, $2 billion, and partments in the "City of Capitals compies located in Moscow's prestigious skyscraper district 4 Maber al-Assad has not yet been granted asylum his request remains under review. He and his family are currently under house arrest Assad loses power Wife files for divorce many such a cases 88 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: b6DVRcHf) >>491811503 (OP) # >lose your country >become a slave to russia >lose your bitch >lose your money bro had a really bad week 12/19/24(Thu)11:52:56 No.491811573 >>491811822 # >>491814307 # >>491814375 # >>491814595 # >>491816159 # >>491817378 # >>491818069 # >>491819645 # >>491820539 #

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Anon agrees with Putin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +srPCBSU) Putin: Men are unfulfilled and(...) 'Need Something More Interesting Than P---': Putin Calls For Alternatives To Adult Content Curated By Dea.com Last Updated: December 18, 2004, 200 750 KB PNG 12/19/24(Thu)12:56:36 No.491815683 >Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday emphasised on the need for alternatives to p--- sites, saying there should be "something more interesting and passionate to capture attention". >Calling for the need to create something better than p--- sites, Putin stated that it required that something should be created which is more engaging and compelling than adult content. >"I think p--- sites are visited all across the world. It is not just an issue for us, but for everyone. There can be bans and prohibitions but one has to always come up with alternatives, which is more interesting than a p--- website to fill the void that causes greater interest," Putin said during an interview with a Russia-based TV channel Russia Today. https://www.news18.com/amp/world/need-something- more-interesting-than-p----putin-calls-for-alternatives-to- adult-content-9162176.html Anonymous (ID: iDV8XCVN I agree with him 12/19/24(Thu)12:57:35 No.491815751 Jews made p--- as profane and intricately MK Ultra-y as possible it's time to dethrone the p--- Jew >>491815793 #
Anonymous (ID: +srPCBSU) Putin: Men are unfulfilled and(...) 'Need Something More Interesting Than P---': Putin Calls For Alternatives To Adult Content Curated By Dea.com Last Updated: December 18, 2004, 200 750 KB PNG 12/19/24(Thu)12:56:36 No.491815683 >Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday emphasised on the need for alternatives to p--- sites, saying there should be "something more interesting and passionate to capture attention". >Calling for the need to create something better than p--- sites, Putin stated that it required that something should be created which is more engaging and compelling than adult content. >"I think p--- sites are visited all across the world. It is not just an issue for us, but for everyone. There can be bans and prohibitions but one has to always come up with alternatives, which is more interesting than a p--- website to fill the void that causes greater interest," Putin said during an interview with a Russia-based TV channel Russia Today. https://www.news18.com/amp/world/need-something- more-interesting-than-p----putin-calls-for-alternatives-to- adult-content-9162176.html Anonymous (ID: iDV8XCVN I agree with him 12/19/24(Thu)12:57:35 No.491815751 Jews made p--- as profane and intricately MK Ultra-y as possible it's time to dethrone the p--- Jew >>491815793 #

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Anon's watch is so cash | /r/Greentext

>>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed >little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life
>>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed >little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

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Anon runs a pirated game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476925202 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 KB JPG 10 min. ago
Anonymous 476925202 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 KB JPG 10 min. ago

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What happened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/24(Tue)18:50:35 No.697601770 US teen and young adult suicide rates are highest on record Suicide deaths among people ages 15 to 24, per 100,000 people 16 1994 14 13.6 12 10 10 8 Golden age of internet and video games 2017 14.5 m 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 Source: WISQARS/CDC 1707973330582.jpg 45 KB JPG What started the decline? Vox
Anonymous 12/17/24(Tue)18:50:35 No.697601770 US teen and young adult suicide rates are highest on record Suicide deaths among people ages 15 to 24, per 100,000 people 16 1994 14 13.6 12 10 10 8 Golden age of internet and video games 2017 14.5 m 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 Source: WISQARS/CDC 1707973330582.jpg 45 KB JPG What started the decline? Vox

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The experiences that must be shared | /r/Greentext

File :1232230195.jpg-(20 KB, 310x310, toilet-llqq-001.jpg) Anonymous 01/17/09(Sat) 17:09:55 No. 110295317 Here's my story /b/, I've been sick for about four days. Four days of stomach pain and the inability to s---. I don't know if you've not s--- for four days, but when the time comes, you know it will be epic. It happened yesterday, I could feel a slight sensation in my bowels, I knew something was stirring. The local mall (very big and popular) was just a mile away so I hopped in my car and went to the public bathroom. I waited a minute for two stalls to be occupied before I went in between them, thinking how lucky I was. They could share this epic s--- with me whether they wanted to or not. After going into the stall, I locked the door and sat down after readying my self, this was going to be fun. Now I am sitting there with 4 days of s--- ready to burst out into the toilet. I gave a small shout and pushed, lifting off the seat so the splash was big and loud, I heard the man on my left cough. I gave not wait to the next cascade of feces, I gave another shout, louder and lower, and kicked the wall, a stream of s--- poured out, leaving my head in a dizzying state, I knew I had the men's attention. So I took my stance, foot on the door and hands under the seat. I screamed a blood curtling cry and shat with all my might, kicked the door outward (breaking the lock) and pounding my fists on the wall, I heard one man leave and while he turned on the faucet I ran out, face in hands, and shat in the sink next to him screaming "I FILLED THE F------ TOILET" and he ran out. the next man stayed in his stall so I kicked his door and yelled "HELP! MY A------ IS BLEEDING!" He muffled something back and I finished off my s--- in the sinks. It was a grand day for s---- around the world. Pic related, a toilet.
File :1232230195.jpg-(20 KB, 310x310, toilet-llqq-001.jpg) Anonymous 01/17/09(Sat) 17:09:55 No. 110295317 Here's my story /b/, I've been sick for about four days. Four days of stomach pain and the inability to s---. I don't know if you've not s--- for four days, but when the time comes, you know it will be epic. It happened yesterday, I could feel a slight sensation in my bowels, I knew something was stirring. The local mall (very big and popular) was just a mile away so I hopped in my car and went to the public bathroom. I waited a minute for two stalls to be occupied before I went in between them, thinking how lucky I was. They could share this epic s--- with me whether they wanted to or not. After going into the stall, I locked the door and sat down after readying my self, this was going to be fun. Now I am sitting there with 4 days of s--- ready to burst out into the toilet. I gave a small shout and pushed, lifting off the seat so the splash was big and loud, I heard the man on my left cough. I gave not wait to the next cascade of feces, I gave another shout, louder and lower, and kicked the wall, a stream of s--- poured out, leaving my head in a dizzying state, I knew I had the men's attention. So I took my stance, foot on the door and hands under the seat. I screamed a blood curtling cry and shat with all my might, kicked the door outward (breaking the lock) and pounding my fists on the wall, I heard one man leave and while he turned on the faucet I ran out, face in hands, and shat in the sink next to him screaming "I FILLED THE F------ TOILET" and he ran out. the next man stayed in his stall so I kicked his door and yelled "HELP! MY A------ IS BLEEDING!" He muffled something back and I finished off my s--- in the sinks. It was a grand day for s---- around the world. Pic related, a toilet.

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Anon Likes Luna Lovegood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/18/24(Wed)17:03:37 No.207122014 >Luna Lovegood >not the love interest You had one job Rowling 850 KB JPG
Anonymous 12/18/24(Wed)17:03:37 No.207122014 >Luna Lovegood >not the love interest You had one job Rowling 850 KB JPG

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Anon is a smooth criminal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/09/19(Tue)16:37:40 No.53290925 74 KB JPG >be romanian >wake up in your vardo >your three uncles still sleeping next to you >pickpocket your uncles >head outside to see your mom >ask her for some breakfast >mom hands you a garlic bulb >she tells you to go walk your dogs >pickpocket your dogs >realize you're actually about to do honest work >tell your mom to go f--- herself >she caves your face in with a crystal ball >pickpocket your mom before dying 1 Reply View Thread
Anonymous 07/09/19(Tue)16:37:40 No.53290925 74 KB JPG >be romanian >wake up in your vardo >your three uncles still sleeping next to you >pickpocket your uncles >head outside to see your mom >ask her for some breakfast >mom hands you a garlic bulb >she tells you to go walk your dogs >pickpocket your dogs >realize you're actually about to do honest work >tell your mom to go f--- herself >she caves your face in with a crystal ball >pickpocket your mom before dying 1 Reply View Thread

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Anon is a Nord | /r/Greentext

File: 10407212 1020499371951245(...).jpg (67 KB, 611x597) 10 LUSTY ARGONIAN MAID Anonymous 12/19/14(Fri)22:07:03 No.586374164 [Reply] ► H-------- H-------- H-------- > at a local grocery store a few minutes ago > a mother was having a tough time with a crying child > juggling groceries in a hand basket > Stroll over JUST as she dropped a box of cereal > baby is crying harder now > "is there something I can do to help, ma'am?" > "HELL yeah. can you take my baby for just a second?" >"uhh... yeah, sure." > put down my basket of steaks and vegetables (no joke) > take the baby > it's crying like the Brotherhood of Steel in NV > all of my wat > wait, now it's my time to shine >start singing in a deep, calm voice > the f------ Dragonborn theme of Skyrim >sing the whole damn song > the baby is asleep by the time I get done > mother is staring at me in awe > "what the hell did you just do > "it's an ancient Nord lullaby, passed down through my family since Eric the Red. Works every time" > "wait- what? > repeat > "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that before in my life." > "don't know many Nords, do you?" > hand sleeping baby back to mother > "have a good evening" > pick up my meat and veggies and walk away > f--- yeah
File: 10407212 1020499371951245(...).jpg (67 KB, 611x597) 10 LUSTY ARGONIAN MAID Anonymous 12/19/14(Fri)22:07:03 No.586374164 [Reply] ► H-------- H-------- H-------- > at a local grocery store a few minutes ago > a mother was having a tough time with a crying child > juggling groceries in a hand basket > Stroll over JUST as she dropped a box of cereal > baby is crying harder now > "is there something I can do to help, ma'am?" > "HELL yeah. can you take my baby for just a second?" >"uhh... yeah, sure." > put down my basket of steaks and vegetables (no joke) > take the baby > it's crying like the Brotherhood of Steel in NV > all of my wat > wait, now it's my time to shine >start singing in a deep, calm voice > the f------ Dragonborn theme of Skyrim >sing the whole damn song > the baby is asleep by the time I get done > mother is staring at me in awe > "what the hell did you just do > "it's an ancient Nord lullaby, passed down through my family since Eric the Red. Works every time" > "wait- what? > repeat > "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that before in my life." > "don't know many Nords, do you?" > hand sleeping baby back to mother > "have a good evening" > pick up my meat and veggies and walk away > f--- yeah

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Anon takes a sick day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 19/12/2024, 05:49:35 No.15594620 68 KB JPEG >Be me > Have to leave work one day because of insane diarrhoea > walking across one of Londons longest bridges. Lots of people around > I KNOW explosive diarrhoea is coming RIGHT NOW > I'm half way across the bridge. No escape > F--- it, I'm not going to ruin this suit. I'm just gonna do this > pull down my trousers to do a wet, projectile s--- over the side of the bridge >mfw it's just a normal fart and I just pulled my trousers down and farted infront of maybe 100 people and then just pulled them back up and kept walking
Anonymous 19/12/2024, 05:49:35 No.15594620 68 KB JPEG >Be me > Have to leave work one day because of insane diarrhoea > walking across one of Londons longest bridges. Lots of people around > I KNOW explosive diarrhoea is coming RIGHT NOW > I'm half way across the bridge. No escape > F--- it, I'm not going to ruin this suit. I'm just gonna do this > pull down my trousers to do a wet, projectile s--- over the side of the bridge >mfw it's just a normal fart and I just pulled my trousers down and farted infront of maybe 100 people and then just pulled them back up and kept walking

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Average Louisiana Resident | /r/Greentext

File: 334 KB, 1500x1500, k_Photo_Series_2023-01-how-to-make-cajun- gumbo_2022-how-to-make-cajun-gumbo_925.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Gumbo Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:49:15 No.20893606 [Reply] [Original] Quoted by: >>20893647 >>20895045 >>20895207 >>20895421 >>20895547 >>20895744 >>20897838 >>20898007 How many y'all like gumbo? Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:50:41 No.20893607 *you all O Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:53:10 No.20893611 File: 127 KB, 220x178, jackie-chan-yaw.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] » Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:59:27 No.20893616 >> Quoted by: >>20893618 I got all these little burns on my wrist from the roux splashing on me while I was stirring it. Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 04:00:47 No.20893618 >>20893616 Why no pics yall? Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 04:39:25 No.20893647 Quoted by: >>20893666 >>20894040 >>OP I love gumbo, but not as much as performing oral on my thirteen year old sister.
File: 334 KB, 1500x1500, k_Photo_Series_2023-01-how-to-make-cajun- gumbo_2022-how-to-make-cajun-gumbo_925.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Gumbo Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:49:15 No.20893606 [Reply] [Original] Quoted by: >>20893647 >>20895045 >>20895207 >>20895421 >>20895547 >>20895744 >>20897838 >>20898007 How many y'all like gumbo? Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:50:41 No.20893607 *you all O Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:53:10 No.20893611 File: 127 KB, 220x178, jackie-chan-yaw.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] » Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 03:59:27 No.20893616 >> Quoted by: >>20893618 I got all these little burns on my wrist from the roux splashing on me while I was stirring it. Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 04:00:47 No.20893618 >>20893616 Why no pics yall? Anonymous Wed, Oct 9, 2024 04:39:25 No.20893647 Quoted by: >>20893666 >>20894040 >>OP I love gumbo, but not as much as performing oral on my thirteen year old sister.

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Anon gets scammed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 69 KB PNG >be me 12/18/24(Wed)20:42:47 No.928819336 >Get ai scam call of someone using ai to pretend to be my gf >Wire them money >Get evicteda< >Depression >Go to psychiatrist, tell them >Paranoid schizophrenia, prescribed abilify
Anonymous 69 KB PNG >be me 12/18/24(Wed)20:42:47 No.928819336 >Get ai scam call of someone using ai to pretend to be my gf >Wire them money >Get evicteda< >Depression >Go to psychiatrist, tell them >Paranoid schizophrenia, prescribed abilify

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Anon reveals the new tactic for protests against Trump | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: k4bmvd40 12/18/24(Wed)17:29:05 No.21766899 467 KB JPG DEMOCRAT, PROTEST AGAINST TRUMP: MARRY A FOREIGNER! >many Democrats are angry at the new Trump administration >one of the main agendas of the Trump administration is mass deportation and border protection Why don't we generate lulz by getting Democrats to marry foreigners en masse as a form of protest Anonymous (ID: penClwF8) >>21766899 (OP) # 12/18/24(Wed)17:32:05 No.21766912 show the new haircut, f-----
Anonymous (ID: k4bmvd40 12/18/24(Wed)17:29:05 No.21766899 467 KB JPG DEMOCRAT, PROTEST AGAINST TRUMP: MARRY A FOREIGNER! >many Democrats are angry at the new Trump administration >one of the main agendas of the Trump administration is mass deportation and border protection Why don't we generate lulz by getting Democrats to marry foreigners en masse as a form of protest Anonymous (ID: penClwF8) >>21766899 (OP) # 12/18/24(Wed)17:32:05 No.21766912 show the new haircut, f-----

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 45 KB JPG 06/01/21(Tue)14:58:04 No.855843594 Sorry for bad englang >be me >belly location having pressure >pain >on the defecation chair >large movement >pressure gone Mfw
Anonymous 45 KB JPG 06/01/21(Tue)14:58:04 No.855843594 Sorry for bad englang >be me >belly location having pressure >pain >on the defecation chair >large movement >pressure gone Mfw

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Aching beauty | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)17:46:31 No.206848484 imgonline-com-ua-twotoone-GcljXW6a0lej.jpg 261 KB JPG >gets big role >immediately destroys her appearance What are some other cases of actors becoming self- destructive Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:49:02 No.206848525 What's the most accepted theory currently? I think she's on ozempic
: Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon)17:46:31 No.206848484 imgonline-com-ua-twotoone-GcljXW6a0lej.jpg 261 KB JPG >gets big role >immediately destroys her appearance What are some other cases of actors becoming self- destructive Anonymous 12/09/24(Mon) 17:49:02 No.206848525 What's the most accepted theory currently? I think she's on ozempic

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Anon is depressed designer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 16:06:08 No.458362 GF-pfKaW8AAeMPp.png 35 KB PNG > Be me, Design student, shy, strange, dumb, 20 > Now, jaded, no longer an incel and a bit far right. Due to bad experiences in college > How do I navigate design world without letting my prejudice by my negative experiences in design influence my work or opportunities
Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 16:06:08 No.458362 GF-pfKaW8AAeMPp.png 35 KB PNG > Be me, Design student, shy, strange, dumb, 20 > Now, jaded, no longer an incel and a bit far right. Due to bad experiences in college > How do I navigate design world without letting my prejudice by my negative experiences in design influence my work or opportunities

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Anon plays videogames | /r/Greentext

Anonymous AND THANKS TO MY FRANKLY BRILLIANT ALLOCATION OF POINTS TO ANIMAL HUSBANDRY, I POSSESS A ROBUST AND INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF MONSTER GENITALS. 12/18/24(Wed)16:48:13 No.697687653 unknown-9.png >lose game >"gg ez" 6 KB PNG >send winner a friend request >start gaming together instead of against each other >become friends >eventually start hanging out outside of vidya too >become even better friends >hang out at his place, get to know his family >eventually have sweaty grunting gay sex with his dad.
Anonymous AND THANKS TO MY FRANKLY BRILLIANT ALLOCATION OF POINTS TO ANIMAL HUSBANDRY, I POSSESS A ROBUST AND INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF MONSTER GENITALS. 12/18/24(Wed)16:48:13 No.697687653 unknown-9.png >lose game >"gg ez" 6 KB PNG >send winner a friend request >start gaming together instead of against each other >become friends >eventually start hanging out outside of vidya too >become even better friends >hang out at his place, get to know his family >eventually have sweaty grunting gay sex with his dad.

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