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I'll just say this: Imagine if Cartman was a girl. Would any of us like her?

lochnessmonster Why don't we get more women written in the "lovable a------" character type bojanglesrph because people call them "bitches" an-actual-lion He loves his tea

lochnessmonster Why don't we get more women written in the "lovable a------" character type bojanglesrph because people call them "bitches" an-actual-lion He loves his tea

bitches bitch women characters writing reblogs lion tea an-actual-lion sexism

"The idea that people have somehow become more absurd due to the existence of the internet never ceases to amuse me."

Why do 18th century Englieh paintinge have so many squirrels in them, and how did they tame them so that they wouldn't bite the painter? 10.76 Inquiry at desk.. Nov. 1948 Can I get a book telling me how to be mistress of ceremonies at a musical o---?" ariety within 5 minutes on telephone: Name of Napoleon's horse of opening of baaobail season in .Y. Date of opening of baseball season in N.Y. Books on human spontaneous combustion Who were the Seven Sutherland Sisters? Telephone call mid-afternoon New Year s Day, 1967: Somewhat uncertain female voice: "I have two questions. The first is sort of an etiquette one. I wentto a New Year's Eve party and unexpectedly stayed over. I don't really know the hosts. Ought I to send a thank-you note? Second, when you meet a fellow and you know he's worth twen- ty-seven million dollars because that's what they told me, twenty-seven illion, and you know his nationality, how do you find out his name?" as 1/2/67 hoodlock digg: This is what people asked the library before Google. (via) The idea that people have somehow become more absurd due to the existence of the internet will never cease to amuse me. I want to know the rest of the story of that lady who had the wild New Year's Eve.

Why do 18th century Englieh paintinge have so many squirrels in them, and how did they tame them so that they wouldn't bite the painter? 10.76 Inquiry at desk.. Nov. 1948 Can I get a book telling me how to be mistress of ceremonies at a musical o---?" ariety within 5 minutes on telephone: Name of Napoleon's horse of opening of baaobail season in .Y. Date of opening of baseball season in N.Y. Books on human spontaneous combustion Who were the Seven Sutherland Sisters? Telephone call mid-afternoon New Year s Day, 1967: Somewhat uncertain female voice: "I have two questions. The first is sort of an etiquette one. I wentto a New Year's Eve party and unexpectedly stayed over. I don't really know the hosts. Ought I to send a thank-you note? Second, when you meet a fellow and you know he's worth twen- ty-seven million dollars because that's what they told me, twenty-seven illion, and you know his nationality, how do you find out his name?" as 1/2/67 hoodlock digg: This is what people asked the library before Google. (via) The idea that people have somehow become more absurd due to the existence of the internet will never cease to amuse me. I want to know the rest of the story of that lady who had the wild New Year's Eve.

imgur library google absurdity

Because this is absolutely how sexual dimorphism works

ilots

ilots

ice age how to train your dragon lilo and stitch cat

A tumblr page says a lot about a person

eiffeled A person's tumblr tells a lot about them. It shows what kind of images they see in their head, who they love, who they hate, even what they think about other people topherchris

eiffeled A person's tumblr tells a lot about them. It shows what kind of images they see in their head, who they love, who they hate, even what they think about other people topherchris

tumblr 2deep4me weird stuff

Beethoven's 9th symphony speedrun

Doug Mataconis @dmataconis That's not how this works That's not how any of this works. An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven's 9th Symphony. How long would it take for 60 players to play the symphony? 5. Let P be number of players and T the time playing. 5:06 PM 09 Oct 17 7,833 Retweets 13.4K Likes bitsow 4800 players, Beethoven's 9th Symphony Speedrun kaijuno its not even music anymore it's just a shockwave that kills you instantly

Doug Mataconis @dmataconis That's not how this works That's not how any of this works. An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven's 9th Symphony. How long would it take for 60 players to play the symphony? 5. Let P be number of players and T the time playing. 5:06 PM 09 Oct 17 7,833 Retweets 13.4K Likes bitsow 4800 players, Beethoven's 9th Symphony Speedrun kaijuno its not even music anymore it's just a shockwave that kills you instantly

shockwave math problem

Fuck everything I want to be a birb

thunderthighz biggest-gaudiest-patronuses adulthood is a scam i want to be a crow babylunapea I'm not even an adult and I want to be a crow biggest-gaudiest-patronuses The desperation only grows with years everythingunderthesky Be the crow you wish to see in the world -Collect Shiny Things -Hop happily down the street for no apparent reason Scream loudly when you see your friends biggest-gaudiest-patronuses What an incredibly inspiring addition thank you Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

thunderthighz biggest-gaudiest-patronuses adulthood is a scam i want to be a crow babylunapea I'm not even an adult and I want to be a crow biggest-gaudiest-patronuses The desperation only grows with years everythingunderthesky Be the crow you wish to see in the world -Collect Shiny Things -Hop happily down the street for no apparent reason Scream loudly when you see your friends biggest-gaudiest-patronuses What an incredibly inspiring addition thank you Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

crow birds adulthood adult life no credit to op scam

White people amirite

$33rofheart willfosho s33rofheart does a qualified white person want to explain to me what the f--- this means????????????? You see white people hibernate in square formation to protect their crops for winter. thanks

$33rofheart willfosho s33rofheart does a qualified white person want to explain to me what the f--- this means????????????? You see white people hibernate in square formation to protect their crops for winter. thanks

crops winter protect

4chan for women

dietmountainmadewka tumblr is just 4chan for women dietmountainmadewka I can elaborate: the cultures and site dynamics of 4chan and tumblr are heavily based on the social natures of men and women respectively: 4chan is all about anonymity, popularity is despised (such as with tripfags) as it is seen as undeserved "attention w------". They love to s--- on eachother and get in flamewars and arguments but ultimately share a sense comradery Discussions and posts in general are based around specific topics and hobbies usually revolving around external issues rather than personal ones Tumblr on the other hand is based heavily around popularity and social status Blogs will flaunt their follower count and reblogs. Much like women in real life people on tumblr will take any chance they can to boost their own popularity by calling out larger blogs for percieved slights or mistakes. Drama is the lifeblood of this website. Discussions usually revolve around personal feelings or situations, with specific topics simply being vehicles for personal drama Basically, 4chan is Fight Club and tumblr is Desperate Housewives

dietmountainmadewka tumblr is just 4chan for women dietmountainmadewka I can elaborate: the cultures and site dynamics of 4chan and tumblr are heavily based on the social natures of men and women respectively: 4chan is all about anonymity, popularity is despised (such as with tripfags) as it is seen as undeserved "attention w------". They love to s--- on eachother and get in flamewars and arguments but ultimately share a sense comradery Discussions and posts in general are based around specific topics and hobbies usually revolving around external issues rather than personal ones Tumblr on the other hand is based heavily around popularity and social status Blogs will flaunt their follower count and reblogs. Much like women in real life people on tumblr will take any chance they can to boost their own popularity by calling out larger blogs for percieved slights or mistakes. Drama is the lifeblood of this website. Discussions usually revolve around personal feelings or situations, with specific topics simply being vehicles for personal drama Basically, 4chan is Fight Club and tumblr is Desperate Housewives

tumblr 4chan fight club desperate housewives

unrealistic body standards smh

the-narwhal-orchestra orcadreams Source: nakedpastor ENTRY MENWOMEN Onakedpastorcon mysteryinc thisisrelatable shithappens-but-lifegoeson damn thats powerful one of my favorite posts here. this f------ pressure for men to be square shaped really pisses me off sometimes im glad that you all understand 283,477 notes

the-narwhal-orchestra orcadreams Source: nakedpastor ENTRY MENWOMEN Onakedpastorcon mysteryinc thisisrelatable shithappens-but-lifegoeson damn thats powerful one of my favorite posts here. this f------ pressure for men to be square shaped really pisses me off sometimes im glad that you all understand 283,477 notes

A real eye-opener, this was. A great tool for any master of ceremonies headed down the road to heaven.

Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage d--- jokes) and I came across....something ang PE 1971 some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang-a c--- compendium, if you wll- that dates back all the way to the f------ 13th CENTURY. This m----------- tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn't do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green Some of my favorites include Shaft of Delight (1700s) Womb Sweeper (1980s) Master John Goodfellow (1890s) Nimble-Wimble (1650s) e Corporal Love (1930s) Staff of Life (1880s Spindle (1530s) As good as ever twanged (1670s e Gaying Instrument (1810s) Beef Torpedo (1980s) and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, l'm Nimble Wimble And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon's got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights Mrs. Fubb's Parlor (1820s) Poontang (1950s) Spunk Box (1720s) Ringerangroo (1930s) Ineffable (1890s) Itching Jenny (1890s) Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently) Bookbinder's Wife (1760s) Rough Malkin (1530s) Socket (1460s) and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670

slang historical penis vagina

I guess I'll agree to the terms and service...

1 We've updated our privacy policy 4.254 notities

1 We've updated our privacy policy 4.254 notities

tumblr privacy policy

Impeach everyone!

Jacob Wohl @JacobAWohl Right now, one person is worried about impeachment, and it's not President Trump #ImpeachObama 5/21/18, 6:41 PM 513 Retweets 1,380 Likes Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec They will impeach Trump, we will impeach Obama. These are the stakes 4:13 PM-22 May 2018 maswartiz Did republicans forget Obama isn't President? There's like no way they know what the word impeachment means. WOwls Careful or we will get impeached too 50.655 notities

Jacob Wohl @JacobAWohl Right now, one person is worried about impeachment, and it's not President Trump #ImpeachObama 5/21/18, 6:41 PM 513 Retweets 1,380 Likes Jack Posobiec @JackPosobiec They will impeach Trump, we will impeach Obama. These are the stakes 4:13 PM-22 May 2018 maswartiz Did republicans forget Obama isn't President? There's like no way they know what the word impeachment means. WOwls Careful or we will get impeached too 50.655 notities

tumblr republicans twitter trump obama

Unlimited economic power

pukicho As a communist Oh boy and a capitalist OH BOY porko-rosso sadoeconomist CAPCOM

pukicho As a communist Oh boy and a capitalist OH BOY porko-rosso sadoeconomist CAPCOM

communism capitalism capcom expand brain

Funny title

vampireapologist do u ever get a message or a comment that like isn't OVERTLY sexual but it's in the subtext and even though it seems completely innocent your kink alarm bell rings something like you're so cute! would love to see a photo of you in some red sneakers!" vampireapologist gnarlyninja Please I'm afraid to draw any of my girl ocs with their arms up now because of the one person who keeps requesting to see their armpits smudgebucket I got ask on my art blog asking me to draw the Adventure Time characters with elephant trunks and i haven't slept since god i love this Source: vampireapologist 57,272 notes

vampireapologist do u ever get a message or a comment that like isn't OVERTLY sexual but it's in the subtext and even though it seems completely innocent your kink alarm bell rings something like you're so cute! would love to see a photo of you in some red sneakers!" vampireapologist gnarlyninja Please I'm afraid to draw any of my girl ocs with their arms up now because of the one person who keeps requesting to see their armpits smudgebucket I got ask on my art blog asking me to draw the Adventure Time characters with elephant trunks and i haven't slept since god i love this Source: vampireapologist 57,272 notes

artist fetish kink

Next patch will fix the “Seventeen Hip Pouches” exploit, along with the “Dissapearing Army” glitch

lightwolf Editing? Oh you mean fic patching lightwolf Protagonist now has more complex motivations. Protagonist now remembers key facts about important people. He no longer develops convenient amnesia between cutscenes. Protagonist now has a cooldown on certain adverbs. Adverbs have been buffed by 30% to compensate. Developer note: Adverbs are important to writing but they are sometimes overused. This change keeps adverbs relevant while encouraging the use of adjectives and verbs. The horse now has a name. Deuteragonist snark power has been increased to 150, up from 75. .

lightwolf Editing? Oh you mean fic patching lightwolf Protagonist now has more complex motivations. Protagonist now remembers key facts about important people. He no longer develops convenient amnesia between cutscenes. Protagonist now has a cooldown on certain adverbs. Adverbs have been buffed by 30% to compensate. Developer note: Adverbs are important to writing but they are sometimes overused. This change keeps adverbs relevant while encouraging the use of adjectives and verbs. The horse now has a name. Deuteragonist snark power has been increased to 150, up from 75. .

writing patching

But Cha didn't

"you draw this character so ugly i'd draw them 100 times better-" But Cha Didn't

"you draw this character so ugly i'd draw them 100 times better-" But Cha Didn't

tumblr art but cha didn't

I never create, I only consume

2? rockdownu Follow Anonymous 05/09/18(Wed)13:48:49 No.100371629 >>100371588 I never create, I only consume I know this is in response to a question about Freddie Freaker p--- but this is profound all by itself

2? rockdownu Follow Anonymous 05/09/18(Wed)13:48:49 No.100371629 >>100371588 I never create, I only consume I know this is in response to a question about Freddie Freaker p--- but this is profound all by itself

freddie freaker 4chan

No Words

4lung 4lune Although Iove you all very much and greatly appreciate all that you do to encourage and support me, l am also unfathomably afraid of every single one of you this might seem like a cute jokey "haha i have anxiety" post but i've truly never been more serious about anything in my entire life. And I can't even think of how to properly explain why Each and every one of you has the ability to singlehandedly destroy my entire career and take away my entire income overnight. And after all that ive been through and worked for to make my goals happen for myself, that's scarier to me than absolutely anything. It's gotten to a point where i'm afraid to publidly express even the most benign approval of any artist or individual for fear that they may have done something problematic that I never knew about, and that a post will be made about how i support someone who is evil, and my income will suffer because of it. I am afraid even to allow myself to form any sort of emotional connection to any artist's work. I'm afraid to form any sort of close friendships with other artists and even most of my own fans for fear that someday they'll do something bad and then i'll get called out by association for being friends with them, and my income will suffer because of it. An unreasonable amount of pressure is laid upon queer people (particularly those with an audience) by other queer people to be in-the-know about who's dangerous and who isnt, and so, I am on eggshells 200% of the time, for fear that everything i've worked so hard for over the past 3 years will disappear overnight. I've watched several friends' careers fizzle and die over rumors, misinterpretations, quotations taken out of context, troll callouts, Someone even put me on a TERF list last year (yup. for real. ME. 4lung. a trans lesbian. on a TERF list.) and a few people actually believed it. l thought it was hilarious at the time, but now that my income is bound so closely to my web presence, this kind of thing would have had me devastated had it happened more recently I understand that everyone is just trying to keep everyone else safe. And I think that is very admirable and encouragable. But i'll be damned if i'm notterrified of anyone who would take advantage of that fact for their own gain or amusement. None of you are in the wrong. You are all just trying to do the right thing. Thank you for protecting me and for protecting one another. But i'll be damned if every single day of my life I don't drive myself into paranoia over the fact that each and every person on this platform possesses that power over one another.

4lung 4lune Although Iove you all very much and greatly appreciate all that you do to encourage and support me, l am also unfathomably afraid of every single one of you this might seem like a cute jokey "haha i have anxiety" post but i've truly never been more serious about anything in my entire life. And I can't even think of how to properly explain why Each and every one of you has the ability to singlehandedly destroy my entire career and take away my entire income overnight. And after all that ive been through and worked for to make my goals happen for myself, that's scarier to me than absolutely anything. It's gotten to a point where i'm afraid to publidly express even the most benign approval of any artist or individual for fear that they may have done something problematic that I never knew about, and that a post will be made about how i support someone who is evil, and my income will suffer because of it. I am afraid even to allow myself to form any sort of emotional connection to any artist's work. I'm afraid to form any sort of close friendships with other artists and even most of my own fans for fear that someday they'll do something bad and then i'll get called out by association for being friends with them, and my income will suffer because of it. An unreasonable amount of pressure is laid upon queer people (particularly those with an audience) by other queer people to be in-the-know about who's dangerous and who isnt, and so, I am on eggshells 200% of the time, for fear that everything i've worked so hard for over the past 3 years will disappear overnight. I've watched several friends' careers fizzle and die over rumors, misinterpretations, quotations taken out of context, troll callouts, Someone even put me on a TERF list last year (yup. for real. ME. 4lung. a trans lesbian. on a TERF list.) and a few people actually believed it. l thought it was hilarious at the time, but now that my income is bound so closely to my web presence, this kind of thing would have had me devastated had it happened more recently I understand that everyone is just trying to keep everyone else safe. And I think that is very admirable and encouragable. But i'll be damned if i'm notterrified of anyone who would take advantage of that fact for their own gain or amusement. None of you are in the wrong. You are all just trying to do the right thing. Thank you for protecting me and for protecting one another. But i'll be damned if every single day of my life I don't drive myself into paranoia over the fact that each and every person on this platform possesses that power over one another.

tumblr guilt by association

Man robs bank with 350 pounds of ants, claims to be the Ant Man

Man robs bank by releasing 350 pounds of ants into building, claims to be Ant Marn June 10, 2015 marswatney deducecanoe I AS ONE DOES HOW MANY ANTS IN A POUND OF ANTS

Man robs bank by releasing 350 pounds of ants into building, claims to be Ant Marn June 10, 2015 marswatney deducecanoe I AS ONE DOES HOW MANY ANTS IN A POUND OF ANTS

tumblr bank robbery fake news ant ants ant man

A story for the ages

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a f------ experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke upI saw the nurse next to me and was all like hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like "damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some f------ battle and holler "WHATS UP F----" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look. So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly f------ lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits.I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first f------ smoothie on the list here. So I just say "shush man I'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some s--- and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these f-----... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel ( stll have them) Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehovw and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read There are actual tears coming out of my face More awesome pics at FUNsubstance.com

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a f------ experience. Before the surgery wasn't too interesting but as soon as I woke upI saw the nurse next to me and was all like hey... i think... i died... and now I'm in a parallel universe... and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe" and he was just kinda like "alright, you do that". And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like "damn... why are there so many of you... there's like 5 many of you" and she was just kinda like "alright, you do that". Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like "how ya feeling son" in the dadliest way possible and I was like "MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I'M STARVED" so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say "I'm good I can do this" and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some f------ battle and holler "WHATS UP F----" to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look. So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly f------ lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits.I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says "hey are you going to order or what". Keep in mind I'm on the first f------ smoothie on the list here. So I just say "shush man I'm trying to do fruit science", and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said yeah give me a smooth regular" which for the uninitiated, isn't actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the "boosted" smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made "lightning noises". So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some s--- and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says "how ya feelin?". Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say "there's these f-----... tiny sheep in my head" which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel ( stll have them) Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehovw and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn't find the status update bar) that read: i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice" This may be the funniest thing I have ever read There are actual tears coming out of my face More awesome pics at FUNsubstance.com

dentist anesthesia jamba juice you've been hit by you've been struck by a smoooooooooth regular!