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That's what it means?

yamini nambimadom @showmetheyamz when i was a kid i didn't realize that the song "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" meant that daddy was santa claus. i was like "holy s….. mommy's an adulterer"
yamini nambimadom @showmetheyamz when i was a kid i didn't realize that the song "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" meant that daddy was santa claus. i was like "holy s….. mommy's an adulterer"

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The abyss

@dad_hard @kunkelcomedy Car designer: "Okay I left a gap between the front seat and the console, big enough to lose your phone but too small to reach your hand in and pull out a french fry, anything else?" Boss: "Put some sharp stuff down there and call it a day"
@dad_hard @kunkelcomedy Car designer: "Okay I left a gap between the front seat and the console, big enough to lose your phone but too small to reach your hand in and pull out a french fry, anything else?" Boss: "Put some sharp stuff down there and call it a day"

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It's not fair

Icona @lconawrites. www While I go through the trouble of putting on makeup, the rose-finch just wakes up in the morning and looks like this.
Icona @lconawrites. www While I go through the trouble of putting on makeup, the rose-finch just wakes up in the morning and looks like this.

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My dreams be like

Alex Hirsch >> @_AlexHirsch Last night I dreamed I met spongebob in person and from his breath I could tell he was a heavy smoker but he was clearly insecure about it so I didn't bring it up
Alex Hirsch >> @_AlexHirsch Last night I dreamed I met spongebob in person and from his breath I could tell he was a heavy smoker but he was clearly insecure about it so I didn't bring it up

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They do or they don't

Ace-tyra @FloraAcetyra Follow Men will get fired, divorced, be in debt and the only thing they'll say is "I'll figure it out". 12:00 PM - 21 Nov 24 5.6M Views • 16.5K Reposts 5,588 Quotes 161K Likes 8,564 Bookmarks
Ace-tyra @FloraAcetyra Follow Men will get fired, divorced, be in debt and the only thing they'll say is "I'll figure it out". 12:00 PM - 21 Nov 24 5.6M Views • 16.5K Reposts 5,588 Quotes 161K Likes 8,564 Bookmarks

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Sorry

morgue @biopsybimbo. Follow X sorry i cant come in today theres a cat in my house. oh no it's my cat. yeah he's fine. but like he's just there and i want to hang out with him 10:44 PM Nov 18, 2024 ப் 31.5K Reply Copy link to post
morgue @biopsybimbo. Follow X sorry i cant come in today theres a cat in my house. oh no it's my cat. yeah he's fine. but like he's just there and i want to hang out with him 10:44 PM Nov 18, 2024 ப் 31.5K Reply Copy link to post

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Bro...

Voldemort @ib 2cute Follow My baby made me an imaginary pizza. I started eating it saying "mmmm it's so good." She said, "You didn't take it out the box" 6:42 PM - Oct 8, 2023 3M Views 415 11K 130K 1.5K go
Voldemort @ib 2cute Follow My baby made me an imaginary pizza. I started eating it saying "mmmm it's so good." She said, "You didn't take it out the box" 6:42 PM - Oct 8, 2023 3M Views 415 11K 130K 1.5K go

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Whoops

Amy Colleen @sewistwrites Follow Whenever my 3yo says, "Mommy WUVS to have drinks for GROWN-UPS" I feel a mild stab of regret that we chose this term to discourage him from constantly asking to try my seltzer 6:48 PM · Oct 24, 2023 · 117.4K Views 54 17 87 4.5K ☐ 45 80
Amy Colleen @sewistwrites Follow Whenever my 3yo says, "Mommy WUVS to have drinks for GROWN-UPS" I feel a mild stab of regret that we chose this term to discourage him from constantly asking to try my seltzer 6:48 PM · Oct 24, 2023 · 117.4K Views 54 17 87 4.5K ☐ 45 80

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Very memorable

Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow Made one of those cute white board signs for my sons first day of preschool. Left the room and came back and he'd erased it and drawn "a big building that's on fire" instead. 4:39 AM Sep 8, 2023 249.3K Views n 75 162 7.6K 44 go
Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow Made one of those cute white board signs for my sons first day of preschool. Left the room and came back and he'd erased it and drawn "a big building that's on fire" instead. 4:39 AM Sep 8, 2023 249.3K Views n 75 162 7.6K 44 go

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

How will he come back from this?

Kristen Howerton @kristenhowerton I had to walk behind my teenager ... during his zoom class in order to go to the bathroom and now his peers know that he has parents. THAT HE LIVES WITH. He's obviously very upset. Please send him your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Kristen Howerton @kristenhowerton I had to walk behind my teenager ... during his zoom class in order to go to the bathroom and now his peers know that he has parents. THAT HE LIVES WITH. He's obviously very upset. Please send him your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

Oh... thanks...

Whattsserrname @whattsserrname Follow When I clean the house, I involve my 2 year old and he loves it. Yesterday, my the little guy came to me and proudly said "I cleandy up for you!” (I cleaned up for you) GUYS, He "cleaned" the tv with a sanding sponge
Whattsserrname @whattsserrname Follow When I clean the house, I involve my 2 year old and he loves it. Yesterday, my the little guy came to me and proudly said "I cleandy up for you!” (I cleaned up for you) GUYS, He "cleaned" the tv with a sanding sponge

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

So confusing

Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes "I'll tell the other Elliots" and I laughed, then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said "ill tell the other diesels" which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3 5:05 AM Oct 3, 2023 1.7M Views 101 tz 2.2K 69K ☐ 1K go
Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow I told my 3yo Elliot I saw a deer in our yard & he goes "I'll tell the other Elliots" and I laughed, then later he explained he said that bc in an ep of Thomas a diesel train named Diesel said "ill tell the other diesels" which is smart but also how confusing must it be to be 3 5:05 AM Oct 3, 2023 1.7M Views 101 tz 2.2K 69K ☐ 1K go

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

It was self defence

When I was 5 my mom got an elf on the shelf and told me it was watching to see if I was bad. I was so scared I decided to kill it and I snuck out, stole the elf on the shelf, and then ripped it's arms up and hid it in the grass under my window. Then lied about it when questioned. 10:14 PM • 7/6/21 Twitter Web App
When I was 5 my mom got an elf on the shelf and told me it was watching to see if I was bad. I was so scared I decided to kill it and I snuck out, stole the elf on the shelf, and then ripped it's arms up and hid it in the grass under my window. Then lied about it when questioned. 10:14 PM • 7/6/21 Twitter Web App

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What a madman

Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 11:03 AM 11/17/24 1.6M Views 440 1 5.6K 88K 1.6K <]
Mom Jeans @momjeansplease Follow My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Is it because of your hair?" Now I'm crying for two reasons. 11:03 AM 11/17/24 1.6M Views 440 1 5.6K 88K 1.6K <]

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

It's a simple fix

Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow This morning my 3yo was mad and told me he wanted a different mama and I said "what kind of mama do you want?" And he said "one who wears a black suit". I think about the ways I'm failing as a parent a lot but I hadn't even considered that it's bc I don't have a black suit. 9:24 PM Oct 9, 2023 2.7M Views • 192 2.9K 86K 1.1K до
Lucy Huber @clhubes Follow This morning my 3yo was mad and told me he wanted a different mama and I said "what kind of mama do you want?" And he said "one who wears a black suit". I think about the ways I'm failing as a parent a lot but I hadn't even considered that it's bc I don't have a black suit. 9:24 PM Oct 9, 2023 2.7M Views • 192 2.9K 86K 1.1K до

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

iPad kids...

Follow My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye" RETWEETS LIKES 18,327 38,100 8:23 PM-6 May 2017 <-280 27 18K 38K
Follow My friend's toddler babbled "don't forget to subscribe" as he was put to bed. Kid watches so much YouTube he thought it means "goodbye" RETWEETS LIKES 18,327 38,100 8:23 PM-6 May 2017 <-280 27 18K 38K

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

No more waffles

Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks My toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served. everyone besides me and that's about the biggest f you she's ever given
Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks My toddler ran out of waffles in her pretend restaurant this morning right after she served. everyone besides me and that's about the biggest f you she's ever given

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That's way better

Bess Kalb @bessbell Follow Thrilled to announce that instead of saying X "What are you doing?" my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, "What have you done?"
Bess Kalb @bessbell Follow Thrilled to announce that instead of saying X "What are you doing?" my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, "What have you done?"

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children

He doesn't count

Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal · Follow • X Things that made my toddler cry this week: - wants all of her fingers to be the same length - I wouldn't let her eat a sponge - her feet were sandy (we were at the beach) - she doesn't want to be an only child (her brother "does not count") How about your kid?
Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal · Follow • X Things that made my toddler cry this week: - wants all of her fingers to be the same length - I wouldn't let her eat a sponge - her feet were sandy (we were at the beach) - she doesn't want to be an only child (her brother "does not count") How about your kid?

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Oddly specific...

Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, "maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory. Posted in r/oddlyspecific by u/Sad_Stay_5471 reddit
Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, "maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed" which is a suspiciously specific theory. Posted in r/oddlyspecific by u/Sad_Stay_5471 reddit

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kids are stupid /r/kidsarefuckingstupid kids children