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Bo Burnham's "Welcome To The Internet"

Bo Burnham's "Welcome To The Internet"

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Please put it back

Graham Marbles @gWinbags Holy s t PUT IT BACK Archaeologists Have Unearthed a 4,000-Year-Old Board Game. Now They Just Have to Figure Out the Rules
Graham Marbles @gWinbags Holy s t PUT IT BACK Archaeologists Have Unearthed a 4,000-Year-Old Board Game. Now They Just Have to Figure Out the Rules

Twitter / X
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You can do that, if you want

Robert Bowling @fourzerotwo After sitting with me for 10 mins, my son stands up and says, "I'm going to go... do... better stuff." And straight up walked away and now I'm wondering why I never thought of doing this for every social interaction I've ever had.
Robert Bowling @fourzerotwo After sitting with me for 10 mins, my son stands up and says, "I'm going to go... do... better stuff." And straight up walked away and now I'm wondering why I never thought of doing this for every social interaction I've ever had.

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What does that even mean?

the hype R @TheHyyyype someone on this conference call just said "the ball's in our court so we'll touch base internally and then follow up to get on the same page" and for a moment i seriously thought i was listening to a parody of a meeting
the hype R @TheHyyyype someone on this conference call just said "the ball's in our court so we'll touch base internally and then follow up to get on the same page" and for a moment i seriously thought i was listening to a parody of a meeting

Twitter / X
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So enraging

Laurie Voss @seldo Nothing to drive me into a murderous rage than spending 30 minutes in a phone queue to perform a task that cannot be completed on the website while a recorded voice reminds me every 30 seconds that the website is convenient and fun.
Laurie Voss @seldo Nothing to drive me into a murderous rage than spending 30 minutes in a phone queue to perform a task that cannot be completed on the website while a recorded voice reminds me every 30 seconds that the website is convenient and fun.

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He has a point

Kit Yates @Kit_Yates_Maths I'm sorry, but you can't *always* be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average. That's not how averages work.
Kit Yates @Kit_Yates_Maths I'm sorry, but you can't *always* be experiencing a higher volume of calls than average. That's not how averages work.

Twitter / X
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It all comes down to that...

It all comes down to that...
It all comes down to that...

Twitter / X
technically the truth technically true can't argue with that facepalm true technically not wrong

Two kinds of kids

Jessie @mommajessiec I have one intelligent child who is designing a parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another child willing to try the parachute.
Jessie @mommajessiec I have one intelligent child who is designing a parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another child willing to try the parachute.

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kids are stupid kids insane kids crazy kids

At least he asked

Jenny Pentland GED @JennyPentland My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark "MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!" 8:31 PM 6/19/21 Twitter for iPhone
Jenny Pentland GED @JennyPentland My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark "MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!" 8:31 PM 6/19/21 Twitter for iPhone

Twitter / X
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That's one way to do things

Luciux Riker @Luciuxness When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said "brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay" so he made us start brushing our teeth with him. It's been 3 years. Nobody tell him.
Luciux Riker @Luciuxness When my son was 4 he saw a commercial that said "brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay" so he made us start brushing our teeth with him. It's been 3 years. Nobody tell him.

Twitter / X
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Kids...

When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.
When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.

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Thanks, gramps

Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.

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Shhh...

Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %
Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %

Twitter / X
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The crazy thing is...

Jev @runitbackjev The crazy thing is the cow that came from is probably dead by now TT @TTremendous351. Mar 16 This is a 393-years old aged Wagyu Beef that was located in the Arctic Ocean. It's been aging since 1627. It is the oldest living aged Wagyu Beef known on the planet. Photo by Julius Nielsen. IGJIUGE RB The most expensive meat in the world: Aged Wagyu Beef $3200/lbs Readers added context Wagyu as it is known was only crosbred into existence in the mid 1800s. Looking up anything about this steak (1627, wagyu, julius nielsen, arctic ocean, oldest wagyu steak) brings up no results. wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagyū 10:25 PM · Mar 17, 2025 -1.8M Views 400 4.4K 78K ☐ 2.6K <]
Jev @runitbackjev The crazy thing is the cow that came from is probably dead by now TT @TTremendous351. Mar 16 This is a 393-years old aged Wagyu Beef that was located in the Arctic Ocean. It's been aging since 1627. It is the oldest living aged Wagyu Beef known on the planet. Photo by Julius Nielsen. IGJIUGE RB The most expensive meat in the world: Aged Wagyu Beef $3200/lbs Readers added context Wagyu as it is known was only crosbred into existence in the mid 1800s. Looking up anything about this steak (1627, wagyu, julius nielsen, arctic ocean, oldest wagyu steak) brings up no results. wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagyū 10:25 PM · Mar 17, 2025 -1.8M Views 400 4.4K 78K ☐ 2.6K <]

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wagyu runitbackjev ttremendous351 community notes meat cow

True...

Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault L
Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault L

Twitter / X
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Guys... I know...

sarah thee tonin @sarahndipity18 two teen girls asked me to take a pic of them & i said sure. then they handed me a disposable camera & then tried to show me how to use it. do not cite the deep magic to me witch. i was there when it was written
sarah thee tonin @sarahndipity18 two teen girls asked me to take a pic of them & i said sure. then they handed me a disposable camera & then tried to show me how to use it. do not cite the deep magic to me witch. i was there when it was written

Twitter / X
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You don't have to

todd dillard @toddedillard I don't know who needs to hear this but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking
todd dillard @toddedillard I don't know who needs to hear this but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking

Twitter / X
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