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Stay safe out there gamers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous They got me guys. 08/01/23(Tue)13:16:49 No.74234296 >be me >playing fallout 76 last night >it's an mmorpg for anyone who doesn't know >hanging out at my base camp >female player enters the room >she be looking good though 8 KB JPG >she just stands there, not using the workbenches or anything usual >not sure what to do so I drop some items for her >she picks them up and does the heart symbol >I heart back >she starts taking her armor off(unequipping stuff) >she still has on a cute hat and glasses >no idea what to do so I take all my stuff off >she crouches down right by my waist and starts moving back and forth >basically a virtual bj >I do the same for her >she lays down in my bed >crouch on top of her and move back and forth >whole thing is pretty intimate and exciting but wasn't expecting it at all >she gets dressed and leaves >go visit her camp just out of curiosity >there are four huge trans pride flags' >it was 100% a guy
: Anonymous They got me guys. 08/01/23(Tue)13:16:49 No.74234296 >be me >playing fallout 76 last night >it's an mmorpg for anyone who doesn't know >hanging out at my base camp >female player enters the room >she be looking good though 8 KB JPG >she just stands there, not using the workbenches or anything usual >not sure what to do so I drop some items for her >she picks them up and does the heart symbol >I heart back >she starts taking her armor off(unequipping stuff) >she still has on a cute hat and glasses >no idea what to do so I take all my stuff off >she crouches down right by my waist and starts moving back and forth >basically a virtual bj >I do the same for her >she lays down in my bed >crouch on top of her and move back and forth >whole thing is pretty intimate and exciting but wasn't expecting it at all >she gets dressed and leaves >go visit her camp just out of curiosity >there are four huge trans pride flags' >it was 100% a guy

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Anon gets more than a no | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 347 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)22:07:44 No.73584128 >be me >confessed to a girl i had a crush on since forever >always was nice and sweet to me so i thought i had a chance >do it >she starts laughing and asked me if i was serious >still tries to hold myself from being shattered to atoms >still laughing at me and even start to ask me what made me think i would accept >3 of her friends join in, 2 of them start walking and the other pulls the girl i liked away from me >i remained there standing like an idiot while still listening to girls giggling at me I don't know which part shocked me most, being rejected like this or being capable of not ending it.
: Anonymous 347 KB JPG 06/06/23(Tue)22:07:44 No.73584128 >be me >confessed to a girl i had a crush on since forever >always was nice and sweet to me so i thought i had a chance >do it >she starts laughing and asked me if i was serious >still tries to hold myself from being shattered to atoms >still laughing at me and even start to ask me what made me think i would accept >3 of her friends join in, 2 of them start walking and the other pulls the girl i liked away from me >i remained there standing like an idiot while still listening to girls giggling at me I don't know which part shocked me most, being rejected like this or being capable of not ending it.

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Anon commits mass murder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB PNG 08/29/23(Tue)09:46:21 No.4604355 > see a spider in the shower > large, covered in babies, hard working single mom > give her 24hr notice > showertime > still there > babies will scatter if I try to pick it up > dewit.jpg > spider gets blasted > baby spiders circle the drain, panicking > mama spider witnesses her brood being massacred > attempts to escape, heroically holds on to drain > increase showerhead power to overkill > mama spider is stunned, then vanishes > darkness > confusion > loneliness > spend 2 minutes running water down the drain to cover my foul deed > can't shower in peace > am I terrified of the coming retribution, or of the monster I've become?
: Anonymous 61 KB PNG 08/29/23(Tue)09:46:21 No.4604355 > see a spider in the shower > large, covered in babies, hard working single mom > give her 24hr notice > showertime > still there > babies will scatter if I try to pick it up > dewit.jpg > spider gets blasted > baby spiders circle the drain, panicking > mama spider witnesses her brood being massacred > attempts to escape, heroically holds on to drain > increase showerhead power to overkill > mama spider is stunned, then vanishes > darkness > confusion > loneliness > spend 2 minutes running water down the drain to cover my foul deed > can't shower in peace > am I terrified of the coming retribution, or of the monster I've become?

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Wonder what anon chose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)21:56:03 No.649234258 Maid Victoria Uwah wh- who are you...? Are you the king's servant.. 234543222.png 159 KB PNG >game has hard moral choices Introduce yourself R--- ·?]
: Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)21:56:03 No.649234258 Maid Victoria Uwah wh- who are you...? Are you the king's servant.. 234543222.png 159 KB PNG >game has hard moral choices Introduce yourself R--- ·?]

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freefromwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 03/29/22(Tue)13:17:38 No.109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*
: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 03/29/22(Tue)13:17:38 No.109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*

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Anon Explains Human Slang | /r/Greentext

File: 1661285779996594.png (692 KB, 822x747) $ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:18:48 No. 178791479 >No, no, no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. >You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that, you say "GEM." >If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "COAL." >And if you wanna shine them on, it's "NAS." >If someone gets upset, you say, "YWNBAW." ☐ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:25:49 No.178791658 ► >>178793248 >>178791479 (OP) He was r---- >>178791658 >>178791956
File: 1661285779996594.png (692 KB, 822x747) $ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:18:48 No. 178791479 >No, no, no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. >You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that, you say "GEM." >If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "COAL." >And if you wanna shine them on, it's "NAS." >If someone gets upset, you say, "YWNBAW." ☐ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:25:49 No.178791658 ► >>178793248 >>178791479 (OP) He was r---- >>178791658 >>178791956

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2 anons enjoy bathroom time | /r/Greentext

File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? +6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw
File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? +6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw

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Anon started dating | /r/Greentext

27m (9/1 17:27). 905352446 14 Re-2 Img PNG 1MB (1179 x 1329) 73737838383.png >be hispanic >move into a predominately caucasian town >find a job at some random chilis as a waiter >10/10 pale as f--- goth girl cutie walks in >supposedly a regular here >she's shy af >cater her with a bit more zealous and : gentleness than i normally do with other patrons >she finishes her meal and ask me for the check >I come back and she's not even there anymore she just left the money with exact change(Imao w--) and also left on the coaster what i assume was a 20 dollar tip. >look at the bill and notice some writing on it >its a f------ discord username >Guess people don't do phone numbers anymore? >message her at night after my shift ends >we immediately hit it off and talk about our favorite interests, games, hobbies etc. >we start dating not too long after White bros what the f--- are you doing? these introverted cuties have to literally go outside their comfort zone just to find any attention. All you have to do is act like a gentleman and you're slacking off the opportunity.
27m (9/1 17:27). 905352446 14 Re-2 Img PNG 1MB (1179 x 1329) 73737838383.png >be hispanic >move into a predominately caucasian town >find a job at some random chilis as a waiter >10/10 pale as f--- goth girl cutie walks in >supposedly a regular here >she's shy af >cater her with a bit more zealous and : gentleness than i normally do with other patrons >she finishes her meal and ask me for the check >I come back and she's not even there anymore she just left the money with exact change(Imao w--) and also left on the coaster what i assume was a 20 dollar tip. >look at the bill and notice some writing on it >its a f------ discord username >Guess people don't do phone numbers anymore? >message her at night after my shift ends >we immediately hit it off and talk about our favorite interests, games, hobbies etc. >we start dating not too long after White bros what the f--- are you doing? these introverted cuties have to literally go outside their comfort zone just to find any attention. All you have to do is act like a gentleman and you're slacking off the opportunity.

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Anon gets hit with a dose of reality | /r/Greentext

1d (12/5 15:37) 61242396 388 Re 34 Img JPG 183KB (604 × 630) 25 Replies 00.. Fembots, what's the most turned on you've ever been and how did it happen? 1d (12/5 15:42) 61242463 JPG 17KB (575 × 512) 2 Replies ... ●●● >>61242396 (OP) Stop being horny, Anon. There are no fembots here, only men pretending to be fembots which is gay. Go back to masturbating to mlp p--- and rethink your life decisions
1d (12/5 15:37) 61242396 388 Re 34 Img JPG 183KB (604 × 630) 25 Replies 00.. Fembots, what's the most turned on you've ever been and how did it happen? 1d (12/5 15:42) 61242463 JPG 17KB (575 × 512) 2 Replies ... ●●● >>61242396 (OP) Stop being horny, Anon. There are no fembots here, only men pretending to be fembots which is gay. Go back to masturbating to mlp p--- and rethink your life decisions

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Anon protects nephew from killer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 KB JPG 05/16/18 (Wed)22:25:34 No.768814065 ITT: spooky stories >be me >serial killer kills my brother in law >tries to kill his son but he failed somehow >his son is given to me >years later, the serial killer finds my house >sends threats in the mail, s--- about how he's gonna take him away >I move houses so he won't know my address >he f------ finds my house again >more mail >I move to an island >he still f------ knows >he comes to the door >he's f------ huge >I take out my shorty, but he breaks it in one hand >ohshit.bat >he walks up to my nephew >the twisted f--- gives him a cake >"you're a wizard harry" Turns out this wasn't the serial killer after all
Anonymous 124 KB JPG 05/16/18 (Wed)22:25:34 No.768814065 ITT: spooky stories >be me >serial killer kills my brother in law >tries to kill his son but he failed somehow >his son is given to me >years later, the serial killer finds my house >sends threats in the mail, s--- about how he's gonna take him away >I move houses so he won't know my address >he f------ finds my house again >more mail >I move to an island >he still f------ knows >he comes to the door >he's f------ huge >I take out my shorty, but he breaks it in one hand >ohshit.bat >he walks up to my nephew >the twisted f--- gives him a cake >"you're a wizard harry" Turns out this wasn't the serial killer after all

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No problems when the Elder Anon is here | /r/Greentext

1/2/25qUA8e (OP). IT 4h (9/1 4:22) 18576427 · 7 Re · 1 Img JPG 1MB (2200 × 1500) · Alice.Margatroid.full.1522707.jpg 5 Replies は >Y-You will never find a girl who likes you if you don't lower your standards and start dating lazy landwhales <4 : >Y-You will never have a successful life if you aren't hyper social and ready to talk about the most boring trends with everyone <4 >Y-You will never find a good job if you don't get a STEM degree like me <4 >Y-You will never be happy unless you become a blatant caricature of me <4 >W-Why I'm still a depressed sack now? I-It's biological depression, just check those p-peer reviewed p-papers <4 >Y-You defied my inflated ego and posted the n word again? Guess I will stop talking to you forever <4 >T-The socially awkward scene girl? Y-You can keep her, I-I wasn't going to hit on her a-anyway <4
1/2/25qUA8e (OP). IT 4h (9/1 4:22) 18576427 · 7 Re · 1 Img JPG 1MB (2200 × 1500) · Alice.Margatroid.full.1522707.jpg 5 Replies は >Y-You will never find a girl who likes you if you don't lower your standards and start dating lazy landwhales <4 : >Y-You will never have a successful life if you aren't hyper social and ready to talk about the most boring trends with everyone <4 >Y-You will never find a good job if you don't get a STEM degree like me <4 >Y-You will never be happy unless you become a blatant caricature of me <4 >W-Why I'm still a depressed sack now? I-It's biological depression, just check those p-peer reviewed p-papers <4 >Y-You defied my inflated ego and posted the n word again? Guess I will stop talking to you forever <4 >T-The socially awkward scene girl? Y-You can keep her, I-I wasn't going to hit on her a-anyway <4

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TGIF you know | /r/Greentext

L'OREAL 59 KB JPG >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am
L'OREAL 59 KB JPG >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)07:03:18 No.69559403 83 KB JPG >Be gay >A girl accuses me of having sexually assaulted her >Because I got a promotion she wanted >MFW I almost lost my job because of a woman even though I'm gay (almost because security cameras proved my innocence, and yes, I sued the f--- out of her) Women deserve no rights, seriously.
Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)07:03:18 No.69559403 83 KB JPG >Be gay >A girl accuses me of having sexually assaulted her >Because I got a promotion she wanted >MFW I almost lost my job because of a woman even though I'm gay (almost because security cameras proved my innocence, and yes, I sued the f--- out of her) Women deserve no rights, seriously.

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>none cares to fact check for 2000 Years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)10:06:59 No.15052157 >"heavy objects fall faster than light ones" >none cares to check if this is true for 2000 years 34 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)10:06:59 No.15052157 >"heavy objects fall faster than light ones" >none cares to check if this is true for 2000 years 34 KB JPG

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Anon smells a conspiracy. | /r/Greentext

-nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this
-nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Anon has fun......... | /r/Greentext

>be me >yesterday >friend invites me to his house to hang out with other people i don't know but i get nervous about these things so i don't go >remember when i used to play minecraft instead 23 KB JPG >buy minecraft for s---- and giggles >dad walks in on me playing it >asks if i want to play it with him >dad plays on my old account while i play on my new one >we have fun together for hours >mfw thank you dad. you made my day today.
>be me >yesterday >friend invites me to his house to hang out with other people i don't know but i get nervous about these things so i don't go >remember when i used to play minecraft instead 23 KB JPG >buy minecraft for s---- and giggles >dad walks in on me playing it >asks if i want to play it with him >dad plays on my old account while i play on my new one >we have fun together for hours >mfw thank you dad. you made my day today.

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Anon gets engaged | /r/Greentext

File: bale-1.jpg (48 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/01/23 (Fri)08:51:13 No.74583923 >>74583939 >>74583958 >>74584089 >>74584840 >>74584887 >Gf asks me about my sexual past (she's Christian, so is basically aksing if I was a degenerate) >Think about all the times I jacked off to loli p--- or cross dressed >Say: "Ya know, I used to struggle with that stuff, but God saved me" >Get engaged
File: bale-1.jpg (48 KB, 800x450) Anonymous 09/01/23 (Fri)08:51:13 No.74583923 >>74583939 >>74583958 >>74584089 >>74584840 >>74584887 >Gf asks me about my sexual past (she's Christian, so is basically aksing if I was a degenerate) >Think about all the times I jacked off to loli p--- or cross dressed >Say: "Ya know, I used to struggle with that stuff, but God saved me" >Get engaged

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Anon taking things too far | /r/Greentext

34m (8/31 21:32) 905306825.0 Re - 0 Img JPG 111KB (1300 x 700) Dallas-Express-Photo-9-1.jpg 2770 >me be >taking a year long road trip across America in the 90s >right before I left a town or city, I'd pay a h----- to have sex with me >once I finished, I'd beat them up and take my money back plus whatever they had on them and then flee the city ●●● >never got caught and I made like $7000 in profit that year >plus I got to beat random hookers up
34m (8/31 21:32) 905306825.0 Re - 0 Img JPG 111KB (1300 x 700) Dallas-Express-Photo-9-1.jpg 2770 >me be >taking a year long road trip across America in the 90s >right before I left a town or city, I'd pay a h----- to have sex with me >once I finished, I'd beat them up and take my money back plus whatever they had on them and then flee the city ●●● >never got caught and I made like $7000 in profit that year >plus I got to beat random hookers up

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Anons family tree is a circle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)01:16:00 No.905326774 >>905327077 >>905336557 File: 000456.jpg (217 KB, 960x1243) >>905325329 (OP). >be me >2013 >be 17 >Living with parents >My cousin from Mexico moved with us here in the States >She has no legal papers >She entered with a tourist visa >She plans to stay here and not return to Mexico >She was 16 >OK looking big hips short and amazing body >time passes >My cousin and I began to bond >We develop a mutual crush >We mess around >Kiss, fondle, grind >always in secret >She asks my parents if it's legal for cousins to marry in the states >My parents did not like the idea >They rebuke her because our family is very catholic and s--- >We continue messing around in secret >one day >can't help it pull her panties >Point of no return >we f----- >This became a recurring thing >We f----- at odd hours >While my parents were away >or when they were sleeping >Sneak to the garage and have a quick >On one occasion I could not pull out in time >We got scared >But no big deal maybe she was not ovulating >4 weeks later >turns out she was >She is officially pregnant >Parents freak the f--- out >Keep the pregnancy a secret from the rest of the family >A healthy baby is born >Mom and cousin raised the baby as my cousin's brother >But in legal papers the kid is our son >They arranged a secret marriage between us >At least she will have papers now >She eventually naturalized >We do not live together anymore
Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)01:16:00 No.905326774 >>905327077 >>905336557 File: 000456.jpg (217 KB, 960x1243) >>905325329 (OP). >be me >2013 >be 17 >Living with parents >My cousin from Mexico moved with us here in the States >She has no legal papers >She entered with a tourist visa >She plans to stay here and not return to Mexico >She was 16 >OK looking big hips short and amazing body >time passes >My cousin and I began to bond >We develop a mutual crush >We mess around >Kiss, fondle, grind >always in secret >She asks my parents if it's legal for cousins to marry in the states >My parents did not like the idea >They rebuke her because our family is very catholic and s--- >We continue messing around in secret >one day >can't help it pull her panties >Point of no return >we f----- >This became a recurring thing >We f----- at odd hours >While my parents were away >or when they were sleeping >Sneak to the garage and have a quick >On one occasion I could not pull out in time >We got scared >But no big deal maybe she was not ovulating >4 weeks later >turns out she was >She is officially pregnant >Parents freak the f--- out >Keep the pregnancy a secret from the rest of the family >A healthy baby is born >Mom and cousin raised the baby as my cousin's brother >But in legal papers the kid is our son >They arranged a secret marriage between us >At least she will have papers now >She eventually naturalized >We do not live together anymore

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Anon is Disney | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/23(Sun)11:44:48 No.72885419 Coincidence? 20230409_091349.jpg 1.51 MB JPG >Be Disney >Fire Muscle Mommy because she's based and chad >Hire Jabba the Hutt >Views go down 40%
: Anonymous 04/09/23(Sun)11:44:48 No.72885419 Coincidence? 20230409_091349.jpg 1.51 MB JPG >Be Disney >Fire Muscle Mommy because she's based and chad >Hire Jabba the Hutt >Views go down 40%

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