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: Anonymous 61 KB PNG 08/29/23(Tue)09:46:21 No.4604355 > see a spider in the shower > large, covered in babies, hard working single mom > give her 24hr notice > showertime > still there > babies will scatter if I try to pick it up > dewit.jpg > spider gets blasted > baby spiders circle the drain, panicking > mama spider witnesses her brood being massacred > attempts to escape, heroically holds on to drain > increase showerhead power to overkill > mama spider is stunned, then vanishes > darkness > confusion > loneliness > spend 2 minutes running water down the drain to cover my foul deed > can't shower in peace > am I terrified of the coming retribution, or of the monster I've become?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1080px x 1424px)

File size: 136 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Wonder what anon chose | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/23(Fri)21:56:03 No.649234258 Maid Victoria Uwah wh- who are you...? Are you the king's servant.. 234543222.png 159 KB PNG >game has hard moral choices Introduce yourself R--- ·?]

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freefromwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG 03/29/22(Tue)13:17:38 No.109596398 >*vinyl scratch sound* >YOU'RE NOW LISTENING TO >*car crash sound* >102.3 >*elephant sound* >REAL ROCK FM >*explosion* >WHERE WE PLAY NOTHIN BUT ROCK, ROCK, AND MORE ROCK >*glass shattering sound* >*police siren* >THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANNY'S STATION >*imagine dragons - radioactive starts playing*

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Anon Explains Human Slang | /r/Greentext

File: 1661285779996594.png (692 KB, 822x747) $ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:18:48 No. 178791479 >No, no, no, you gotta listen to the way people talk. >You don't say "affirmative" or some s--- like that, you say "GEM." >If someone comes off to you with an attitude, you say "COAL." >And if you wanna shine them on, it's "NAS." >If someone gets upset, you say, "YWNBAW." ☐ Anonymous 01/05/23(Thu)18:25:49 No.178791658 ► >>178793248 >>178791479 (OP) He was r---- >>178791658 >>178791956

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2 anons enjoy bathroom time | /r/Greentext

File: 107-1078226_transparent-e(...).png (341 KB, 860x1020) O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri) 16:40:08 No.875055978 [Reply] >>875057032 >>875057880 >be me >go to the bathroom to take a s--- >s--- takes very long >no phone >talk to myself to pass the time >s--- ends >Still talking to myself >continue to do this for a couple of hours >relise this >dont want to stop but have to What's wrong with me, is this normal? +6 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 03/25/22(Fri)17:14:43 No.875057032 ► File: 1646965162684.jpg (47 KB, 512x512) >>875055978 (OP) I used to meow kids songs while taking a s---. Coworkers literally thought I was retarded. Later on I learned that my boss didn't want to fire me out of fear of having me or my family sue the company for discrimination for firing a retard. >mfw

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Anon started dating | /r/Greentext

27m (9/1 17:27). 905352446 14 Re-2 Img PNG 1MB (1179 x 1329) 73737838383.png >be hispanic >move into a predominately caucasian town >find a job at some random chilis as a waiter >10/10 pale as f--- goth girl cutie walks in >supposedly a regular here >she's shy af >cater her with a bit more zealous and : gentleness than i normally do with other patrons >she finishes her meal and ask me for the check >I come back and she's not even there anymore she just left the money with exact change(Imao w--) and also left on the coaster what i assume was a 20 dollar tip. >look at the bill and notice some writing on it >its a f------ discord username >Guess people don't do phone numbers anymore? >message her at night after my shift ends >we immediately hit it off and talk about our favorite interests, games, hobbies etc. >we start dating not too long after White bros what the f--- are you doing? these introverted cuties have to literally go outside their comfort zone just to find any attention. All you have to do is act like a gentleman and you're slacking off the opportunity.

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Anon gets hit with a dose of reality | /r/Greentext

1d (12/5 15:37) 61242396 388 Re 34 Img JPG 183KB (604 × 630) 25 Replies 00.. Fembots, what's the most turned on you've ever been and how did it happen? 1d (12/5 15:42) 61242463 JPG 17KB (575 × 512) 2 Replies ... ●●● >>61242396 (OP) Stop being horny, Anon. There are no fembots here, only men pretending to be fembots which is gay. Go back to masturbating to mlp p--- and rethink your life decisions

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Anon protects nephew from killer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 124 KB JPG 05/16/18 (Wed)22:25:34 No.768814065 ITT: spooky stories >be me >serial killer kills my brother in law >tries to kill his son but he failed somehow >his son is given to me >years later, the serial killer finds my house >sends threats in the mail, s--- about how he's gonna take him away >I move houses so he won't know my address >he f------ finds my house again >more mail >I move to an island >he still f------ knows >he comes to the door >he's f------ huge >I take out my shorty, but he breaks it in one hand >ohshit.bat >he walks up to my nephew >the twisted f--- gives him a cake >"you're a wizard harry" Turns out this wasn't the serial killer after all

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No problems when the Elder Anon is here | /r/Greentext

1/2/25qUA8e (OP). IT 4h (9/1 4:22) 18576427 · 7 Re · 1 Img JPG 1MB (2200 × 1500) · Alice.Margatroid.full.1522707.jpg 5 Replies は >Y-You will never find a girl who likes you if you don't lower your standards and start dating lazy landwhales <4 : >Y-You will never have a successful life if you aren't hyper social and ready to talk about the most boring trends with everyone <4 >Y-You will never find a good job if you don't get a STEM degree like me <4 >Y-You will never be happy unless you become a blatant caricature of me <4 >W-Why I'm still a depressed sack now? I-It's biological depression, just check those p-peer reviewed p-papers <4 >Y-You defied my inflated ego and posted the n word again? Guess I will stop talking to you forever <4 >T-The socially awkward scene girl? Y-You can keep her, I-I wasn't going to hit on her a-anyway <4

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TGIF you know | /r/Greentext

L'OREAL 59 KB JPG >friday night >shower >shave beard >hair product >new jacket >new shoes >apply fragrance >say goodnight to parents >hide in the woods until 2am

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Anon gets a promotion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)07:03:18 No.69559403 83 KB JPG >Be gay >A girl accuses me of having sexually assaulted her >Because I got a promotion she wanted >MFW I almost lost my job because of a woman even though I'm gay (almost because security cameras proved my innocence, and yes, I sued the f--- out of her) Women deserve no rights, seriously.

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>none cares to fact check for 2000 Years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/16/23(Tue)10:06:59 No.15052157 >"heavy objects fall faster than light ones" >none cares to check if this is true for 2000 years 34 KB JPG

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Anon smells a conspiracy. | /r/Greentext

-nymous 08/08/21(Sun)15:51:08 No.860 >get in >door closes >??????????????? >on a new floor do you guys really believe in this

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Greentext Stories - Anon commits mass murder | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 61 KB PNG 08/29/23(Tue)09:46:21 No.4604355 > see a spider in the shower > large, covered in babies, hard working single mom > give her 24hr notice > showertime > still there > babies will scatter if I try to pick it up > dewit.jpg > spider gets blasted > baby spiders circle the drain, panicking > mama spider witnesses her brood being massacred > attempts to escape, heroically holds on to drain > increase showerhead power to overkill > mama spider is stunned, then vanishes > darkness > confusion > loneliness > spend 2 minutes running water down the drain to cover my foul deed > can't shower in peace > am I terrified of the coming retribution, or of the monster I've become?

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