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Dafuq - "Individual utilized the raccoon"

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26 SEP 15 ABUSE OF PUBLIC ANIMAL, DRUNKEN OR RECKLESS DRIVING CAMP PENDLETON, SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA ."SEP 15: "MALE NAVY ENLISTED FIRST CLASS PETTY OFFICER EXITED A BAR INTOXICATED IN AN ATTEMPT TO DRIVE A POV EQUIPPED WITH A BREATHALYZER INTERLOCK SYSTEM. SUSPECT WAS TOO INTOXICATED TO SUCCESSFULLY START THE VEHICLE, SO HE WENT INTO THE PARK WHERE HE CAPTURED A RACCOON RUMMAGING IN A TRASHH RECEPTACLE. INDIVIDUAL UTILIZED THE RACOON TO BLOW INTO THE INTERLOCK SYSTEM SUCCESSFULLY BUT THE RACOON BECAME UNCONSCIOUS FROM BEING SQUEEZED AND WAS DISCARDED ON THE FLOORBOARD OF THE VEHICLE UNTIL A SHORT TIME LATER WHEN THE RACOON REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS AND BEGAN TO ATTACK THE SUSPECT WHILE DRIVING, CAUSING THE VEHICLE TO CRASH INTO A RESIDENTIAL FENCE. THE VEHICLE CAME TO A COMPLETE STOP IN AN INGROUND SWIMMING POOL. THE SUSPECT SUSTAINED NUMEROUS SCRATCHES AND BITE MARKS TO THE HANDS, FACE, STOMACH, AND ARMS.

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Top Comments

doonglerules

doonglerules

Sep 28, 2015 at 07:30PM EDT

For a dude who was seemingly wasted as fuck, that was a pretty damn smart plan.

+53

The Christmas Pyro

The Christmas Pyro

Sep 28, 2015 at 08:06PM EDT

+35

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