"tiny uncomfortable controllers"
You haven't even handled one yet; you have no right to say this.

>No backwards compatibility

If the Switch had it, I wouldn't be interested in the Switch. Its a mobile console that runs on ARM. The Wii, Wii U, and GameCube ran on Power PC. So the choice is either the Switch, or Wii U 2 which I don't think anyone wants. In the end, Dolphin Emulator can almost run on an Nvidia Shield TV so it might still be possible

Also to be fair, its kind of awesome that I can buy a second joy con and have 4 controllers for a game like Mario cart while having 2 full fledged controllers for something like Arms. Though in the regards to OP's title, that is a huge letdown that Pro Controllers are $70. EShop titles… Well I'm glad I never bought any. I guess I'm just used to Nintendo's bullshit like that. Just download old roms and emulate