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Trump felt a hand in his sunless region, mercilessly taking hold of his Oompa Loompas. A voice whispered in his ear, thick with seduction and Russianness. "Chancellor Trump, when you're president for life, you can do it, you can do anything. You can grab 'em by the Oompa Loompas. My Donald, let us unite our bodies like workers of the world. Donald could feel his freedom tool straining bigly against his pants. "W-w-what, who are you?" Donald sniffed "I am Russian president-for-life, Vladimir Putin!" the corpse- like man shouted, security detail erupting into an ominous Gregorian chant, "and I will show you a bliss second only to post-scarcity automated socialist utopia!" wtffanfiction | tumblr

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