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The Virgin "Joel' Thin, wormy head silhouette in theater Keen business acumen realized potential for monetizing movie riffing after show was over THE CHAD "MIKE" Soft, nervous voice Reliable hairline Receding hairline Wide head casts dominant silhouette in theater -Sleepy, unfocused eyes Spineless about his tormentors Haunted by the knowledge his creation was more loved than himself Alert eyes, strong square jaw Talented musician despite stolen keyboard standing up to Had to beg nostalgic nerds for money on the Internet Immediately held in equal esteem to his predecessor Reached out to employ former cast members Rifftrax is more authentically MST3K than official revival Abandoned his fictional children The TV Wheel Cucked by Jim Mallon No real children or wife Attended two fan conventions Fan base immediately embraced his replacement Doesn't require puppets to make a living riffing movies man of the people Married Nuveena, father of two children irl Bonus: Couldn't escape from SOL himself Began career doing "magic tricks - Roadied for 90s surf rockers - Real name unpronounceable - Rejected from plum role in "UHF escape plan improvised by dimwitted vacuum cleaner BONUS Ran in to save the show twice moved nimbly to new network Ran away from his own show - Proudly uses real name for his character - Renowned DOOM fragmaster - Destroyer of worlds - Chose nerdy, low-T successor for revival to Keeps fit despite isolation in space by using giant hamster exercise wheel make himself lock manlier came crawling back

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Joel vs. Mike


Uploaded by Yinzer Oct 23, 2017 at 10:06PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
Menial life as a construction worker The Virgin Emmet Nemesis is basically just if Will Ferrell was Donald Trump Not even created by The LEGO Company Nobody knows, let alone cares that he exists Drives a bland, tiny car that doesn't have any relevance to his movie The Chad Powers Drives a stylish spy car that made a cool driving scene during the opening credits Exciting life as an explorer Nemesis is a murderous, tyrannical wizard, whomst he verbally and physically bitch slapped Cucked by Batman Needs to be surrounded by Master Builders to survive Has never had an original, creative thought in his life Eventually turns evil Insufferable yes man Everybody knows and idolizes him Gets all the p---- in LEGO City A real LEGO mascot Stays good throughout his adventures Doesn't need a team to survive, only accepts them because his boss forced him to Oozes godlike creativity from his greasy, jet-black hair Does s--- his way, says yes to no man, woman, child, troll, or rock monster
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Uploaded Oct 23, 2017 at 10:06PM EDT

Origin Entry

Virgin vs. Chad

Source

MST3K Reddit

Tags

joel robinson, mike nelson

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