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WE DECIDED TO LET OUR KIDS ITS NOT THAT WERE BELIEVE IN MAGICAL THINGS. SENTIMENTAL PEOPLE AYYW ITS BECAUSE, ONE DAY ONE AND BY GOD, I Wll NOT OF THEM WILL BE ABOUT TO GO DOWN GENTUY BEAT ME AT A VIDEO GAME THER NO SANTA. TH DID THEY EVEN HAVE VIDEO GAMES WHEN YOU WERE A KID? S NO TOOTH FAIRY AND F AN EGG COMES OUT OF A BUNNY ITS BECAUSE SOMETHING HAS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG! mbc-comics.com

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Origin Entry: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

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FASTER, PAPA, FASTER! HA! OKAY SWEET PEA! THIS IS THE BEST DAY! I'M GONNA REMEMBER THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! Later, it turned out the people in the comic were just pictures, without any past or any future. Less than dead, they never were.

"How come there are all these initial public offerings but never a final public offering?"

"Depending on which AI becomes Skynet, you might also be able to have a suit with banal political questions"

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De-Extinction

WEVE DONE IT/ WHAT'S THE WEVE BROUGHT BACKBEST WAY TO )(-DINOSAUR THE DINOSAURS MONETIZETHEME PARK? THIS? TOO COMPLICATED SCIENTISTS OFFER FOR $20000000000 YOU CAN BE THE REASON DINOSAURS WENT EXTINCT Smbc-comics.com

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Failure

MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN ONE STRING OF FAILURES. PLEASE SEND HELP YOU MISSPELLED "FAILURE THIS COMIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY BUYERS OF SOONISH CUICK FOR MORE INFORMATION. mbc-comucs.com

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In Your House

WHICH HOUSE? HELLO? IM IN YOUR HOUSE S THERE MORE THAN ONE? I KEEPA HOUSE IN MAINE AND THEN A SMALL .ONE IN FLORIDA FOR THE WINTER WHICH ONE ARE YOU IN NOW? TM ACTUALLY AT A HOTEL WHILE THE MAINE HOUSE IS FUMIGATED AH, YEAH, THATS WHAT THAT IS WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBERP SEE THAT? HE DIDNT YOUR HUSBAND HES HAVING YOU KILLED EVEN CHECK THE NEVER WOULDVE HAPPENED MY WIFES THE SAME WAY HEY, YOU WANNA GET A BEER? SHE SAID I WAS AT FAULT FOR AND THEN SHE LOCKED My KEYS IN THE CAR RIGHT BEFORE I WENT TO KILL YOU STRESSING HER OUT HA CLASSIC NO APOLOGY, I BET mbc-comics.com

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Diet

HIS MANY CALORIES NA TINY PLACE?Y TMUST EAT IT BEFORE A RIVAL TAKES IT On the "Honest Paleo" diet, you eat like a caveman living in the present day.

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Hedging

WHAT? WHY? BEFORE WE START THIS DATE, I WANT TO MAKE A BET WITH YOU THAT WE WON'T HAVE SEX TONIGHT TEN TO ONE ODDS ON TEN BUCKSIF WE DONT, I KEEP MY EMOTIONAL HEDGING IF WE HAVE SEX, GREAT MONEY. WIN-WIN YOU KNOW, FIRST DATES USUALUY BEGIN WITH LIKES AND DISLIKES EXCEPT THAT IM NOT YOURE MAKING IT SO WE ONUY PAYING IF HAVE SEX IFI SEX YOU PAY ME FOR SEX. PAYING FOR SEX. IAM IM SUUUPER INTO SHAKING HANDS AND AGREEING TO THINGS. YOU? mbc-comics.com

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Bees

ITS TIME TO SOUVE HEALTHCARE TO THAT END WE ARE HEALTHCARE HAS THREE MAIN PROPOSING A FREE NEW PROBLEMS: OVERUSE, HIGH COST MEDICAL SYSTEM CALED AND LOW SATISFACTION DR. BEES EVERY CITIZEN WILL BE ALLOTTED A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF HEAUTHCARE, AFTER WHICH THE ONY AVAILABLE DOCTOR WIU BE "DR. BEES WHO IS A BEEHIVE AND ALUWAYS PRESCRIBES BEES. Dr Bees THE SURVIVORS WILL REPORT HIGH WE PREDICT A DRASTIC DROP IN USAGE DUE TO SATISFACTION BECAUSE, IF THEYRE FEAR OF BEE STINGS AND STING-RELATED MORTALTY NOT HAPPY IT INDICATES A NEED FOR ADDITIONAL BEES. ATA COSTS WILL BE KEPT LOW WILL THIS MAKE PEOPLE HEAUTHIER BY HARVESTING THE SWEET SWEET HONEY FROM DR. BEES BETWEEN IM A POuICY GUY CONSULTATIONSDONT DEAL WITH ABSTRACTIONS Smbc-comics.com

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World War 3

YOURE STARTING WORLD AR 32 SUT WHIYa HONESTUY WE'RE JUST OUT OF IDEAS The public's desire for ever more low-quality sequels reaches its inevitable and tragic denouement.

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Dream

I HAUE THIS NIGHTMARE WHERE A GIANT MONSTER CHASES ME SUDDENY, MY LEGS FAIL THE MONSTER CATCHES UP WITH ME WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR LEGS? THE MONSTER IS NOT IMPRESSED THE WORST PART IS HON THE NIGHTMARE WONT END WHEN WAS ITS NOT JUST OF EXERC E TIME YOU DID〉| My LEGS ARE ANY CARDIO?ACTING WEIRD AND ITS NOT MY FAUT CAN YOU JUST EAT ME ALREADY? THE LAST LACK YOURE PROBABLY FILLED WITH TOXINS mbc-comiCs.com

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The Body

STAY STRONG, SOYG. THIS IS THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. WEVE GOT NO MOTIVE, NO WELL NEED FORENSICS IM NOTIN HERE, BUT AS A FIRST DEAD! GUESS, THE 80DY HAS BEEN THERE FOR AT LEAST TWELVE HOURS WITNESSES IM NOT DEAD/ 1M JUST BINGE-WATCHING THIS SHOW ABOUT CATTY ' HOUSEWIVES/ His life was later ruled a suicide.

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Statistical Flowers For Algernon

MONTHS LATER IM GOING TO GVE YOu A PILL THATLL DOUBLE YOUR INTELLIGENCE. NOW THAT YOURE SMARTER I BET YOURE FEEUING MORE DISSOCIATED FROM SOCIETY MORE HORRIFIED BY HUMAN LIMITATION/ MORE REPULSED BY THE FRAILTY OF THIS TRAGIC FARCE. THANKS DOC/ NAH THATS A UITERARY MYTH. SUICIDE RATE, FOR INSTANCE, IS ANTI- CORRELATED WITH IQ THE BEST STATISTICAL EVIDENCE SUGGESTS GREATER INTELLIGENCE INCREASES HAPPINESS, COOPERATIVENESS, AND PRODUCTIVITY T ALSO MAKES YOU ANNOVING ITS NICE TO KNOW YOUVE READ SOME OF THE UT- ERATURE mbc-comics.com

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The Truth

DADDY, CAN I ASK You SOMETHING? OH GOD, HERE IT COMES. HES GONNA ASK IF SANTA'S REAL DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT BUT THEN HELL THINK YOU'RE NO I WON'T TELL HIM. HEA LIAR WHEN HE FINDS OUT THE TRUTH. HELL NEVER SHOULD ENJOY THE WONDER AND MYSTERY OF oCHILDHOOD/ TRUST YOU AGAIN. HE WON'T GROW AS A PERSON/ YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT HES SOPHISTICATED. ALL KIDS ARE WISER THAN YOU THINK TRUTH ISNT THE ENEMY OF BEAUTY JUST LAY IT OUT/ BE A GOOD DAD JUST しAY IT OUT/ WHAT S T SON? AM I GONNA NEVER DIE ONE DAY? mbc-comics.com

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Local Singles

IS IT JUST ME, OR HAVE INTERNET SEX ADS GOTTEN UNCOMFORTABUY REAUISTIC OVER TIME? ATTRACTIVE LOCAL SINGLES WHO ARE JUST ABSOLUTELY DYING INSIDE WOULD PROBABLY TALK TO YOU AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THAT WOULD LEAD TO SOMETHING?

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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Magic

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WE DECIDED TO LET OUR KIDS ITS NOT THAT WERE BELIEVE IN MAGICAL THINGS. SENTIMENTAL PEOPLE AYYW ITS BECAUSE, ONE DAY ONE AND BY GOD, I Wll NOT OF THEM WILL BE ABOUT TO GO DOWN GENTUY BEAT ME AT A VIDEO GAME THER NO SANTA. TH DID THEY EVEN HAVE VIDEO GAMES WHEN YOU WERE A KID? S NO TOOTH FAIRY AND F AN EGG COMES OUT OF A BUNNY ITS BECAUSE SOMETHING HAS GONE HORRIBLY WRONG! mbc-comics.com

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Uploaded Mar 01, 2018 at 12:57PM EST

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