Kirby - Kirb Stronk

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IN KIRBY STAR ALLIES, THERE'S A MINI GAME IN WHICH KIRBY TRIES TO HIT AN INCOMING METEORITE AS HARD AS HE CAN. IF THE PLAYER PERFORMS THE OPTIMAL INPUTS, KIRBY WILL HIT THE METEORITE 9999 LIGHTYEARS AWAY IN 22 SECONDS! PAST KIRBY DEVELOPERS HAVE SAID THAT THE MIN GAMES ARE A WAY FOR THE PLAYER TO SEE MORE OF WHAT KIRBY IS TRULY CAPABLE OF OUTSIDE THE MAIN GAME. SO KIRBY CANONICALLY HIT A METEORITE 9999 LIGHTYEARS IN 22 SECONDS. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 2 WELL FOR THE METEORITE TO HAVE TRAVELLED THIS STANCE IN THAT TIMEFRAME, IT WOULD'VE HAD TO HAVE BEEN FLYING AT A MIND SHATTERING 4,299,810,160,00O,Ooo,0OO METERS PER SECOND OR OVER 14 BILLION TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT! FOR REFERENCE, THE FASTEST BASEBALL HIT RECORDED IS LESS THAN 55 METERS PER SECOND. KIRBY WASN'T HITTING A MERE BASEBALL THO GH, NO, IN THE GAME'S FILES THERE ARE 3 DESCRIBED DIFFICULTIES. "TOWN CRISIS" IN WHICH THE METEOR KIRBY HITS WILL THREATEN TO HIT HIS TOWN, "COUNTRY CRISIS" IN WHICH THE METEOR IS SAID WILL DESTROY THE COUNTRY AND "WORLD CRISIS" IN WHICH KIRBY WILL HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM THIS METEOR: SO You HAVE THIS METEORITE OF EVEN GREATER POWER THAN THE ONE WHICH KILLED THE DINOSALIRS, WHICH HAD AN ES MATED EXPLOSIVE YIELD OF 418,400,000,000,000,000,000,000 JOLLESOR OVER 2 MILLION TIMES GREATER THAN THE TSAR BOMBA. YET KIRBY JUST STRAIGHT UP YEETED THAT S--- AT BILLIONS OF TIMES FASTER THAN LIGHT TO SAY THAT THE AVERAGE MAN 1S LIKE AN ANT COMPARED TO KIRBY ISN'T AN EXAGGERATION, BUT A SUPREME UNDERSTATEMENT THAT IN NO WAY DOES JUSTICE TO ACTUAL POWER. HUMAN MIND CAN'T REALLY FATHOM HIS STRENGTH. ESPECIALLY WHEN HE'S GOING AROUND GIVING A STUBBY LITTLE MIDDLE FINGER TO EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT WE UNDERSTOOD ABOUT PHYSICS, B凵 JUST TO IMAGINE THE UNBELIEVABLY FRIGHTENING CIRCUMSTANCE IN WHICH KIRBY,凵SING THE SAME STRENGTH AND SPEED HE uSED TO LAUNCH A WORLD THREATENING METEORITE AT BILLIONS OF MES LIGHT SPEED, SWUNG HIS ARM TOWARDS YOUR FACE WITH THE INTENTION OF HLIRTING YOL. YOU'D BE DEAD, THERE'D BE NOTHING OF YOL TO BURY, AND THERE'D BE NOWHERE TO EVEN BURY YOu. YOU, EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER LOVED OR KNOWN, AS WELL AS ALL OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION AND PLANET EARTH AS WE KNOW IT WOULD BE REDUCED TO NOTHING AT THE HANDS IF THIS PINK LITTLE PUFFBALL THE MORAL OF THIS STORY. YOu DON'T F--- WITH KIRBY. YOU ESPECIALLY DON'T F------ KILL ALL OF KIRBY'S FRIENDS IN FRONT OF HIM IF THAT LASER SHOOTING A------ HAD ANY COMMON SENSE, HE'D BE S------- HIS EXTRADIMENSIONAL PANTS RIGHT ABOUT NOW. HIS OPTION IS TO TRY AND DESPERATELY PRAY TO GOD, ASSUMING THAT KIRBY ISN'T ACTUALLY GOD HIMSELF, WHICH AT THIS POINT ISN'T THAT MUCH OUT OF THE QUESTION Sources: 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v qt6htoDftzI 2. https://īmgur.com/89QsoUR 3. http://m.mlb.com/st 4, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-qPR4ELsemc&frags-pl%2Cwn 5. https://www.livescience.com/26933-chicxulub-cosmic-impact-dinosaurs.html t-velo,r,2018

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Top Comments

Salnax

Nov 09, 2018 at 11:05PM EST

For the sake of simplicity and lowballing it, let's assume "Kirby Saves the World" means fending off an asteroid that would cause an extinction event, as opposed to actually obliterating the planet. That asteroid is estimated to have been in the neighborhood of 5*10^15 kilograms. By using that weight and using the massive speed mention above, we can figure out how much kinetic energy Kirby hit that asteroid with.

According to my math, it's roughly 4.6*10^52 Joules. That is… ****ing ridiculous.

Imagine if the Sun exploded. You would have to multiply that amount of energy by TEN TRILLION. At that point, the explosion would be massive enough to engulf everything in the solar system and keep on heading outwards. An explosion 6 BILLION MILES WIDE.

That is not Kirby's max potential. Thats just him playing baseball.

Galeem is already dead.

+16