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Hi, i'm a mom. You might know me from some of my Greatest Hits like "I thought your game was cancelled", "please don't fart on your sister", "why are ...
Uploaded by Matt Jan 22, 2019 at 01:41PM EST
@yourmomsuckstho greatest hits moms
Origin Entry: Hello, I'm a Professor in a Movie
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Hello I’m a high school teacher in a movie. I never hand out tardy slips to students out in the hall when the late bell rings or worry about dress code violations. I never, ever say, “The bell does not dismiss you. *I* dismiss you.”
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Hello, I'm a bisexual woman in a movie. I'm evil, sexy, slutty, and hit on everything that moves. I prey on vulnerable young women, seduce upstanding guys with my wiles, and cheat on all my partners. You'll know I'm bi bc I'll mention or show it roughly
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Hello, I'm a graduate student in a movie. I obviously sleep with my dissertation adviser and then murder someone, probably that adviser.
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Hello, I'm a lawyer in a movie. Every case is a lengthy jury trial where I'm totally outmatched & losing the entire time. Then, at the final possible moment I have a stroke of genius that no one ever thought of & win the case hands down.
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Hello, I'm a writer in a movie. I bring a print-out of my long-ass novel to my editor's office & wait while my editor reads the whole thing right in front of me, loves it, & offers me an advance, which I accept. Apparently, my editor pushed my agent out a
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Hello, I’m a journalist in a movie. I drink whole bottles of vodka while reporting in the field but somehow churn out prose my editor deems worthy of a Pulitzer.
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Hello, I'm a doctor in a movie. I use defib on a flatlined patient instead of adrenaline, despite knowing that a flatline is the goal of defibrillation. I also do CPR compressions wrong. I use my position of authority to pressure an underling into a rom
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Hello, I'm a Professor in a Movie - Hi, i'm a mom. You might know me from some of my Greatest Hits like "I thought your game was cancelled", "please don't fart on your sister", "why are ...
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