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Fallout 76 - Fallout F--- YOU 1st full screenshot before it was down.

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F--- You! Falleut 1 st st MEMBER F----- PRIVATE WORLDS, SCRAPBOXES & MORE C------ TO FALLOUT 76 WITH FALLOUT F--- YOU 1ST Ever since Fallout 76 launched, we have consistently done nothing to improve and evolve the experience based on your s----- feedback. That's why we're excited to launch Fallout F--- YOU 1st, a premium ass pounding membership that offers something dumbass players have been asking for since before launch: private worlds for you and select idio- *cough*... friends. So we decided to put it behind a paywall! In addition to this huge "feature", Fallout F--- YOU 1st also includes a host of pointless items and cult bonuses, all of which you can find on my foreskin. And the best part? Fallout F--- YOU 1st is available to screw you right now. WHAT'S INCLUDED BEHIND THE FALLOUT F--- YOU 1ST PAYWALL? Fallaut 1st MEMBERSHIP BENEFITS Play in a Private World exclusively for you and up to seven friends PRIVATE WORLDS Unlimited storage for crafting components in your own new Scrapbox container. SCRAPBOX A new placeable fast travel point with a Stash, Sleeping Bag, and more for your basic needs. SURVIVAL TENT ATOMS Receive 1,650 Atoms per month to use in the Atomic Shop. RANGER ARMOR OUTFIT An iconic Fallout outfit, exclusively for members. Unique icons and emates, available only to members. ICONS & EMOTES PACK PRIVATE WORLDS This s----- community has been begging for the ability to play alone in private worlds since before the launch of Fallout 76 (like what a Fallout game should be), and we begrudgingly announce that they are coming to the game with Fallout F--- YOU 1st. If you're a Fallout F--- YOU 1st slave, how you use your private world is completely up to you, as long as we allow it: Invite up to seven of your non-existent friends at a time (eight total people per private world) to join you while we screw you over with our pay to win system, or play completely solo (we know you like it like that anyway). All gameplay remains the same from Adventure (cuckold) Mode and all characters entering the Fallout F--- YOU 1st private worlds must be existing characters. Only the dumbass who bought this membership who owns the private world is required to be a Fallout F--- YOU 1st slave. Head into your private world, open your Social menu once you're inside our buggy beta version of a game, and start inviting your "friends" to kick off the ass pounding. You can also create a squad outside of your private world and then switch to it to bring everyone along at once (because everyone will do that). Should the idiot owner of the private world leave, the world will still stay active as long as one other d------- player in the world is a Fallout F--- YOU 1st slave. Private worlds will continue to evolve with stupid features such as expanded building areas, increased C.A.M.P budgets and Workshop persistence, everything you wanted but at a price. We've also received a lot of questions about playing Fallout 76 with mods and this, too, is something we will just never add 1,650 MICROTRANSACTION POINTS TO PAD MY BOTTOM LINE With a Fallout F--- YOU 1st membership, you'll also receive a monthly bonus of 1,650 Microtransaction Points to use in the Atomic Shop on anything you want. Waste all your money on useless Atomic Shop items with the worst value for a money-wasting bundle to date. Time to pay up! Finally, pick up that outfit or icon you've been eyeing or else we will bill you for it You deserve it for enduring this game for so long As a Fallout F--- YOU 1st slave, you'll have access to exclusive "discounts (lol) in the Suprise Mechanics Shop, so not only are you getting bonus Microtransaction points every month, you'll get "discounts" on some stupid items to spend your money on. SCRAPBOX As a slave of Fallout F--- YOU 1st, you also pay for access to your own private Scrapbox. Use the Scrapbox to store all your crafting components so they aren't taking up space in your Stash Box (Yay pay to win systems!). The Scrapbox has unlimited storage (WAIT W-- SERIOUSLY), so no need to worry about picking and choosing when it comes to hoarding scrap. (I am actually really starting to get p----- the more I read this s---) -VAULT-TEC THE SEX TENT Drop the new Sex Tent to quickly set up a forward operating base when you're roughing... ;) ... it out in the wilderness during your next adventure. The Sex Tent comes complete witha Stash, Sleeping Bag, Scrapbox, Cooking Station, and even an instrument to help you blow hot air up your ass after a day of exploring Appalachia. Once placed, it will also act as a second fast travel point in addition your main C.A.M.P., giving you even more freedom to travel anywhere in the map without spending caps, just your real money! You'll be able to deploy your Sex Tent from your Favorites wheel. (The Sex Tent and Scrapbox can be used in both public and private worlds by Fallout F--- YOU 1St slaves.) THE LAZY VERSION OF THE RANGER ARMOR OUTFIT Explore in a discount version of the Not So Ranger Armor Outfit, available for Fallout F--- YOU 1st slaves PD ICONS & EMOTES PACK SERIOUSLY? THIS IS A MAIN FEATURE ?!? Show off your money buring membership status with a set of stupid Fallout F--- YOU 1st player icons and emotes. (What the f--- ...) 50 LEANDEREs (The Not So Ranger Armor Outfit, player icons and emotes must be claimed from the Atomic Shop while your Fallout F--- YOU 1 t membership is active because we are too lazy to give it to you automatically. If you cancel your membership after claiming them, you will still have access to them. But then again, how have we been with our previous promises - teehee) THIS STUPID ASS MEMBERSHIP Fallout F--- YOU 1st will be available as a one-month waste your money membership, or you can purchase a yearly cash burning pile for a 36% "discount" over the monthly waste your money rate as shown on our website (I will not link this scam). If you cancel your slave membership or it expires, you'll still be able to access any microtransaction points you received as well as the resources stored in your Scrapbox, if we dont delete them first. Cancellation will be effective at the end of your then-current members hip term, or whenever we decide to stop stealing you money Become a Fallout F--- YOU 1st slave here! 1 ap Fallaut 1st month! 12 month! KO (Imagine shoving that 12 fingered hand up your ass! It's okay, this membership will do it for you!) TAKE A LOOK AT THE WONDERFUL COMMUNITY RESPONSE Fallout 76's $100-a-Year Subscription Service Is a Joke - IGN Now Watch late FALLOUT 1ST? MORE LIKE IGN FALLOUT WORST NOW As with everything we do for Fallout 76, we will continue to think of our bleeding bottom line first, ignore your feedback and improve the pay to win services over the months and years to come, so please shut the f--- up and just take it! - Your "friends" at Bethesda For ANONS

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Top Comments

CrazyMoustacheGuy

CrazyMoustacheGuy

Oct 24, 2019 at 01:19PM EDT in reply to Nue7ra1

Given how Bethesda has managed to screw up absolutely everything else regarding 76, their website probably couldn't even handle two people at once.

+47

Raji_Lev

Raji_Lev

Oct 24, 2019 at 10:57AM EDT

This isn't everyday shitposting. This isn't even advanced shitposting. This is like, fucking Universe Brain Shitposting.

+40

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