HOLY FUCK IS HASTY!

Legends say that the main character artist for CTR put up a portfolio of all the art he made for the game but accidentally included a hippo-pilot character for some failed advertising pitch. The Crash forum and sub-reddit swellers latched onto this character like a starving infant on a nipple and proclaimed him to be "The Lost Crash Character," no matter how many times the artist told them they were crazy and also annoying the piss out of him.

Now Activiesion-Blizzard has taken this literal "picture of Lock Ness Monster" of an accidental character and made him an actual racer. That Sakurai level "Memes into Dreams" bullshit and I refuse to believe a company as soulless and evil as A-B could let it happen.

I refuse to believe I live in this timeline as it breaks all known laws of logic!