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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Eshay vs The Chad Bruce

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The Virgin Eshay The Chad Bruce Cool leather hat Wears a Nike or Gucci hat "Oi sheila!" Has low-class hairstyles, such as a buzz cut, mullet or a rat's tail "Rack off, you drongo!" Wears speed dealer glasses to hide identity because he's a p---- Nose looks like it Has a cringy tattoo that says "loyalty" or "family" in cursive font Unyahy was stolen from "You beauty!" the sphinx "Good eye might!" Says "F--- the government!" despite being the ones providing him money Only drinks VB CTOR Despite breaking the law several times, he will still think cops are pigs "Chuck us a durry!" Eats sausage rolls with tomato sauce Always talks in Pig Latin for some reason "Free my boy Darren!" Wears a tank top Has a tattoo of the because Australia Southern Cross Carries a Nike fanny pack to store cigarettes, a lighter, a knife, money and drugs is f------ hot Wears a gold Casio digital watch because he's too stupid to read analog Chills out in a Wears shorts to allow camping chair Only wears Nike, Adidas, Polo, Stussy, Lacoste, Fila, Champion, Nautica, Tommy Hilfiger and Kappa clothes Disturbs everyone on the train by blasting Aussie rap through a bluetooth speaker room for his massive c--- and balls Only listens to Men at Work, Cold Chisel and AC/DC Only watches AFL and Ages range from 10-18 Uses a bong made from a Gatorade bottle and a hose Crocodile Dundee Drinks out of a goon bag "Steve Irwin was Drives a Holden ute Constantly shoplifts a bloody legend!" Does almost every drug you can think of and smoked weed since he was 7 Laughs at his own jokes because they are funny Has Milo and Vegemite toast for breakfast Lives in a suburb with a high crime rate Lives off Centrelink and will never look High school dropout for a job Walks around barefoot Has a barbecue with his mates for lunch because it's a free country so f--- off Only wears Nike TN's "F-----' oath c---!" ITTE

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