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REVEALED: THE REAL REASON RUSSIAN TYRANT DOESN'T DRINK... PUTIN SHAT HIMSELF AFTER TWO PINTS OF SHANDY! LAGER TOPPED: Mad Vlad's killing spree is linked to his shandy shaming We've agreed not to name our source, now living in exile in Crewe, Cheshire, for fear of reprisals. He told us: "Putin was, without doubt, the most pathetic specimen in our class. He was rubbish at PE and even though he saw himself as a teacher's pet, he was stupid and all the KGB teachers knew this. "They were quite cruel to him. Once, they send him down to the KGB stores to get a tin of striped paint and a bucket of steam!" But it was after the first Poor Vlad, he went as red as a beetroot and then he FARTED! But it was wworse than that. He'd s--- himself! It was the funniest thing to ONE of the most shocking SUNDAY SPORT EXCLUSIVE year exams that Putin made his name... as legged sissy! Our source said: "Vlad had just scraped by with a s------ things about Vladimir Putin is that he doesn't a drink. Unlike other Russian leaders, whose aggressive madness was reversed once they sobered up, the Kremlin's latest tyrant is almost 100% teetotal. Apart from a sip at formal meals, Putin does not touch liquor, which makes him an oddity Russia. But while Mad Vlad may want the world to think By BRAD CHADWICK avoiding booze is evidence of an iron will, Sunday Sport can reveal the TRUTH. Putin is dry because he can't take his beer and once SHAT HIMSELF drinking SHANDY as a KGB trainee! A former fellow cadet, who trained alongside Putin said he was known as "S----- Vlad" at KGBschool. D so he tagged along while happen at KGB school. Can you imagine my surprise when Isaw ouroldclassmate turn up as President!" Prof John Wight, head of Russian Studies at the University of West Lancs, said: "A young man who s---- himself after two pints of shandy will grow up bitter and twisted, desperate to get his own back on the world. "In later life, he will traffic warden, of the KGB girls wheelclamper, HRmanager, council inspector, serial Vlad and, fair killer or, as in this case, we went for a drink in a secret KGB bunker with some of the KGB girls. Farted after pints of "We were playing western banned, of course - and drinking vodka. Apart from Vlad who was just sipping shady. Even so, he was absolutely s--------. We dared one two рop booze-sodden in become a Barmy RuIssians PISS in to go and kiss Bateb onothie diet oton

w-- putin | /r/okbuddyretard


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Uploaded Apr 16, 2022 at 10:22PM EDT

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