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Greentext Stories

133 Views • Created about a year ago By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Created By Reddit Moments • Updated about a year ago

Anon is fed up with this b------- | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous redditors pay for this s---? 40 KB PNG 08/17/22 (Wed)18:38:29 No.69851322 >be me >use reddit occasionally >need a quick way to boost karma >discover r/greentext >these mouth-breathers literally upvote anything, even if the post is a screenshot from 6 years ago >post my own screenshots >recently a redditor gives me a gold award >apparently getting gold gives you a short amount of reddit premium >decide to check out the benefits of reddit premium >absolutely worthless perks >the most notable thing is the avatar creator, which is literally a jpg in place of a profile picture >just decide to make my ideal waifu How are they able to get away with this? There is nothing on this site that has made me consider spending $5 to tell someone their opinion aligns with mine. Worst of all, it costs $60 a year. Only the most retarded of basement dwellers would give away so much for so little
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    Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed) 06:59:40 No.200504119 kate-mara-a-teacher-2tfvyq3q7x.jpg 59 KB JPG >You're going to f--- me or else I am going to fail you
    Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed) 06:59:40 No.200504119 kate-mara-a-teacher-2tfvyq3q7x.jpg 59 KB JPG >You're going to f--- me or else I am going to fail you
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    Anonymous 11/21/23(Tue)04:51:48 No.75491042 17 KB JPG people there >be me a week ago >high as f------ balls at 1 in the morning downtown >find a random chinese food place >munchies.jpg >go inside >place is greasy as all hell, 2 other >only staff I see is one guy at the counter >order food and sit >reeks like cigs >eat >best f------ food Ive ever eaten, the sheer flavor in each bite is like a thousand exploding stars on my tongue >leave feeling the best Ive felt in years >go home and sleep it off >today >search the entirety of downtown > chinese place is gone without a trace what the f---
    Anonymous 11/21/23(Tue)04:51:48 No.75491042 17 KB JPG people there >be me a week ago >high as f------ balls at 1 in the morning downtown >find a random chinese food place >munchies.jpg >go inside >place is greasy as all hell, 2 other >only staff I see is one guy at the counter >order food and sit >reeks like cigs >eat >best f------ food Ive ever eaten, the sheer flavor in each bite is like a thousand exploding stars on my tongue >leave feeling the best Ive felt in years >go home and sleep it off >today >search the entirety of downtown > chinese place is gone without a trace what the f---
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    Anons Transgender Relationship | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 7 KB JPG 06/26/24(Wed)22:02:58 No.77959008 >be me >straight 21 year old slavic man living in western country >6'3, fit (visible abs everything) >study finance and work part time >relatively good looking >can't pull girls at all, no matter what I do >not a virgin but not in a relationship either >start getting recommended trans p--- >exclusively only watch trans p--- now as straight p--- just isn't exciting/interesting since discovering this genre >met trans woman on dating app >took her out for few dates >actually loves me as opposed to other girls >we have sex >best sex ever >now together for months, both love eachother greatly, and she's so nerdy like me well, I still think I'm straight because she's a girl but the sex is much better than any other girl i've been with
    Anonymous 7 KB JPG 06/26/24(Wed)22:02:58 No.77959008 >be me >straight 21 year old slavic man living in western country >6'3, fit (visible abs everything) >study finance and work part time >relatively good looking >can't pull girls at all, no matter what I do >not a virgin but not in a relationship either >start getting recommended trans p--- >exclusively only watch trans p--- now as straight p--- just isn't exciting/interesting since discovering this genre >met trans woman on dating app >took her out for few dates >actually loves me as opposed to other girls >we have sex >best sex ever >now together for months, both love eachother greatly, and she's so nerdy like me well, I still think I'm straight because she's a girl but the sex is much better than any other girl i've been with
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    Anal>>vaginal? | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)09:29:08 No.200321832 La Sp Up Sp Sp sage-boys.jpg 119 KB JPG >I'm gonna let you a------ me Bros...is a--- really that good?? Anonymous >que in rap music >>200327994 # Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)09:30:00 No.200321842 06/21/24(Fri)09:30:30 No.200321853 Well if the most Jewish show on TV is promoting it, it must be good.
    Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)09:29:08 No.200321832 La Sp Up Sp Sp sage-boys.jpg 119 KB JPG >I'm gonna let you a------ me Bros...is a--- really that good?? Anonymous >que in rap music >>200327994 # Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)09:30:00 No.200321842 06/21/24(Fri)09:30:30 No.200321853 Well if the most Jewish show on TV is promoting it, it must be good.
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    No resources in the wasteland | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)05:13:09 No.680377434 fallout-4-header-credit-bethesda-3588x2018-407b681f211e.jpg 1.41 MB JPG >able to build power sources and lights that last for 200+ years with no maintenance >unable to build new houses without gaps in the walls/roofs >unable to make a bed without big stains on it >everything new create from metal is pre-rusted the "humans" in the fallout universe feel more like retarded aliens than actual people
    Anonymous 06/21/24(Fri)05:13:09 No.680377434 fallout-4-header-credit-bethesda-3588x2018-407b681f211e.jpg 1.41 MB JPG >able to build power sources and lights that last for 200+ years with no maintenance >unable to build new houses without gaps in the walls/roofs >unable to make a bed without big stains on it >everything new create from metal is pre-rusted the "humans" in the fallout universe feel more like retarded aliens than actual people
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    anon has been reading too much de Sade | /r/Greentext

    /11\ 77] TE Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)02:19:18 No.77957361 ► >be vidya attic >love games that give me new ways of dismembering humans and destroying environments >be chad >dont play videogames cuz im not 12 >love capeshit movies like deadpool and boyz where f------ get anihilated >be tender female >don't like gory violence yuck >love movies like 2012 and DEEP impact tho cuz wow so crazy guys it's almost like ppl like watching ppl die
    /11\ 77] TE Anonymous 06/26/24(Wed)02:19:18 No.77957361 ► >be vidya attic >love games that give me new ways of dismembering humans and destroying environments >be chad >dont play videogames cuz im not 12 >love capeshit movies like deadpool and boyz where f------ get anihilated >be tender female >don't like gory violence yuck >love movies like 2012 and DEEP impact tho cuz wow so crazy guys it's almost like ppl like watching ppl die
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    What a waste of time | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous (ID: 2xRqgabD) 08/29/23(Tue)03:59:10 No.439602796 >be me >0 success with women >be kind of a shy beta >decide to improve >start working out 24 KB JPG >get a better job >improve social skills >engage in hobbies >dress better >better hygiene >become more confident And now, 2 years into this self-improvement and conditioning to become a better man than I was before I can happily report to you that I still have 0 success. >>439602883 # >>439602957 # >>439603096 # >>439603199 # >>439603350 # >>439603386 # >>439603844 # >>439604142 # >>439604191 #
    Anonymous (ID: 2xRqgabD) 08/29/23(Tue)03:59:10 No.439602796 >be me >0 success with women >be kind of a shy beta >decide to improve >start working out 24 KB JPG >get a better job >improve social skills >engage in hobbies >dress better >better hygiene >become more confident And now, 2 years into this self-improvement and conditioning to become a better man than I was before I can happily report to you that I still have 0 success. >>439602883 # >>439602957 # >>439603096 # >>439603199 # >>439603350 # >>439603386 # >>439603844 # >>439604142 # >>439604191 #
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    2d (06/23/24 13:16) 27435270 >>27435218 I'm neither you, nor some other schmuck. I can get p---- and enjoy the freedom of speech 4chan allows me. Tried reddit, but I'm banned from just about everywhere so ... hello 4chan.
    2d (06/23/24 13:16) 27435270 >>27435218 I'm neither you, nor some other schmuck. I can get p---- and enjoy the freedom of speech 4chan allows me. Tried reddit, but I'm banned from just about everywhere so ... hello 4chan.
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    did gandalf cheat the irs? | /r/Greentext

    File: 1692896373357758.jpg (93 KB, 1417x797) Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon)22:44:16 No.200456128 ► >>200456153 >>200456307 >>200456977 >>200458529 >>200458820 Did Gandalf have a job or did he rely on the kindness of others for food and water and shelter for his entire existence?
    File: 1692896373357758.jpg (93 KB, 1417x797) Anonymous 06/24/24(Mon)22:44:16 No.200456128 ► >>200456153 >>200456307 >>200456977 >>200458529 >>200458820 Did Gandalf have a job or did he rely on the kindness of others for food and water and shelter for his entire existence?
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    Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

    am i gay??? #1, No. 77954038 4 hours ago IMG_8791 JPG 150x150 3.9 KB >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from me, also studying >glance at him >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him. 15 replies
    am i gay??? #1, No. 77954038 4 hours ago IMG_8791 JPG 150x150 3.9 KB >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from me, also studying >glance at him >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him. 15 replies
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    anon discovers that eva is real | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 26 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)21:19:00 No.189055363 >the AT fields are standard sci-fi force fields >actually the AT fields are some kind of metaphor for isolation >actually the AT fields are some kind of universal force that keeps humans bodies from turning into liquid >>189055553 # >>189055554 # >>189056176 #
    Anonymous 26 KB PNG 08/22/23(Tue)21:19:00 No.189055363 >the AT fields are standard sci-fi force fields >actually the AT fields are some kind of metaphor for isolation >actually the AT fields are some kind of universal force that keeps humans bodies from turning into liquid >>189055553 # >>189055554 # >>189056176 #
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    : Anonymous 139 KB PNG 09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy. 70 KB JPG
    : Anonymous 139 KB PNG 09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy. 70 KB JPG
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    Anon has a realization | /r/Greentext

    File: funny frog meme.png (217 KB, 399x385) Anonymous (ID: Km+0lHfD | 06/25/24(Tue)15:36:16 No.472180205 I just had the funniest realization ever >pre-Obama >conservative Christians try to get gays to like p---- and lesbians to like d--- >progressives: W-- YOU BIGOTS THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY >post Obama >progressives try to force gays to like p---- (transmen) and lesbians to like d---- (transwomen) >progressives: YOU WILL SUCK THE LADY D--- YOU TERF BITCH OR YOU'LL BE CANCELLED! Horse shoe theory is f------ hilarious.
    File: funny frog meme.png (217 KB, 399x385) Anonymous (ID: Km+0lHfD | 06/25/24(Tue)15:36:16 No.472180205 I just had the funniest realization ever >pre-Obama >conservative Christians try to get gays to like p---- and lesbians to like d--- >progressives: W-- YOU BIGOTS THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY >post Obama >progressives try to force gays to like p---- (transmen) and lesbians to like d---- (transwomen) >progressives: YOU WILL SUCK THE LADY D--- YOU TERF BITCH OR YOU'LL BE CANCELLED! Horse shoe theory is f------ hilarious.
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    Anon predicts the psyop cat picture | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous am i gay??? 4 KB JPG me, also studying >glance at him 06/25/24(Tue)18:32:01 No.77954038 >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him.
    Anonymous am i gay??? 4 KB JPG me, also studying >glance at him 06/25/24(Tue)18:32:01 No.77954038 >be me, 19yo collegefag >straight as an arrow, been dating the same girl since 7th grade >legitimately truly never ever been attracted to or aroused by men >be in computer lab at college, studying for exam >guy comes in and sits across from >literally the most beautiful person i've ever seen >not sexy, not cute, BEAUTIFUL >petite, east asian frame, wavy hair down to his shoulders >clear skin, glowing, just the slightest bit tanned >immaculately groomed and dressed >undeniably male but just graceful and delicate >i'm literally struck dumb >nod hi to him and he says hi back >his voice is like f------ honey >again, undeniably male, but jesus christ >even his f------ hands are attractive, long fingers and smooth arms >can't get any studying done for the life of me (obviously) >haven't been able to meet my girlfriend's eyes since >failed my exam too >can't stop thinking about him i know this sounds like a psyop, post the f------ cat picture if you want, make jokes about robots being secretly gay, whatever. i'm actually freaking the f--- out. am i gay? do i look for him? it's a smallish college so i'd probably be able to find him.
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    So what did he do? Is this another psy-op? | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous (ID: QT6bXbrc E 06/25/24(Tue)19:40:03 No.472184700 105 88 KB JPG Why did he do it bros? >7ft tall chad >built like a gorilla >Wife and kid >Rich and famous Some things are never enough...
    Anonymous (ID: QT6bXbrc E 06/25/24(Tue)19:40:03 No.472184700 105 88 KB JPG Why did he do it bros? >7ft tall chad >built like a gorilla >Wife and kid >Rich and famous Some things are never enough...
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    A boomer's reminiscence | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous (ID: a0J4u0tP Boomers 807 KB PNG 06/19/24(Wed)19:23:46 No.471603477 >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 10/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained on company dime >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
    Anonymous (ID: a0J4u0tP Boomers 807 KB PNG 06/19/24(Wed)19:23:46 No.471603477 >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 10/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained on company dime >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
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    Semiconductors. | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 05/17/24(Fri)21:53:59 No.676770594 >get a rock cpu-564771_1920 Cropped.jpg 77 KB JPG >melt rock >turn rock into powder >turn rock into a crystal >turn it back into a rock >inscribe ancient runes with powerful magic onto rock >trick rock into thinking >can now use this evolved rock to play skyrim with the most degenerate p--- mods imaginable how the F--- did they figure all this s--- out?
    Anonymous 05/17/24(Fri)21:53:59 No.676770594 >get a rock cpu-564771_1920 Cropped.jpg 77 KB JPG >melt rock >turn rock into powder >turn rock into a crystal >turn it back into a rock >inscribe ancient runes with powerful magic onto rock >trick rock into thinking >can now use this evolved rock to play skyrim with the most degenerate p--- mods imaginable how the F--- did they figure all this s--- out?
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    i have no idea what this means. | /r/Greentext

    Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/21/24(Fri)11:21:06 No.23512498 Went full Nietzsche schizo on my girlfriend and now she's a depressed atheist women are not cut for hard truths they need cuddling physically and spiritually
    Anonymous 38 KB JPG 06/21/24(Fri)11:21:06 No.23512498 Went full Nietzsche schizo on my girlfriend and now she's a depressed atheist women are not cut for hard truths they need cuddling physically and spiritually
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    Take Your Revenge | /r/Greentext

    Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Am I an a------? 54 KB JPG ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/25/24(Tue)13:12:22 No.77950302 >See nephew with a sharp object >Trying to stab dog with it >I get mad take it away from him >He starts crying >My dad looks like me with a blank look in his face >Proceeds to lecture me about babies like as if I done something I wasn't suppose to with babies >"Oh anon, babies at this age just don't know any better" So was I just suppose to the baby stab the dog because the don't know any better? Anonymous >>77950302 (OP) 06/25/24(Tue)13:16:50 No.77950340 i think you should stab your nephew and you dad
    Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Am I an a------? 54 KB JPG ▼Settings Mobile Home 06/25/24(Tue)13:12:22 No.77950302 >See nephew with a sharp object >Trying to stab dog with it >I get mad take it away from him >He starts crying >My dad looks like me with a blank look in his face >Proceeds to lecture me about babies like as if I done something I wasn't suppose to with babies >"Oh anon, babies at this age just don't know any better" So was I just suppose to the baby stab the dog because the don't know any better? Anonymous >>77950302 (OP) 06/25/24(Tue)13:16:50 No.77950340 i think you should stab your nephew and you dad
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    Anon tries weed | /r/Greentext

    Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? #1, No. 31493541 2 days ago IMG_0050 JPG 612x405 24.4 kB >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
    Did I hear the voice of god or was it the induced psychosis? #1, No. 31493541 2 days ago IMG_0050 JPG 612x405 24.4 kB >Be Agnostic raised Christian >abstain from weed for 2 months >Sis asks if I want a hit; cave in >Lay on the couch feel high stronger than ever, later learn I was "greened out" >Feel unbearable sense of dread and anxiety like I am being judged >Hear 'I am jehova' in a sort of Michael bay bumblebee-like way, a mixture of different voices speaking words to make one continuous sentence >Realize how my family has become godless over the years >Go to my parents room as anxiety gets worse >Feels like my consciousness is being r---- and I only feel the words 'god is real' >Greenout peaks and every time my mind thinks "what if this is fake", my mind is slapped and shouts "this is real" >Exit peak and suddenly feel peace and I am in the post-rapture and that my dad was my god in the room >Tear up and hug him to say I am sorry for the way I lived my life. Dad is nervous >Realize that my dad isn't god and start feeling like we are about to die in a nuclear fire within minutes >Get an unescapable feeling that I have to physically touch everyone else in the house or they are all going to die and go to hell >Dad holds me down when I try to force my way to my showering mom to get her to touch my hand >Mind permeates 'you will never know if this was real or not' >Mind is fuzzy and go to bed Anyone have similar experiences? Does this sound like a usual message from god? Could it be demonic? I didn't know how to process that experience but it's been months and I don't want to try getting it again, but at the same time I don't want to let it haunt me, unsure if it was real, a drug-induced experienxe, or demonic. Why would a demon want to convince me that god is real and warn me about hell? But then again, why would I see my dad as god and feel the need to touch everyone?
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