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Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri)15:28:05 No.7881736 7881780 >>7882025 >>7882181 >>7883072 >>7883234 File: 766a578cfb021a78ce3bf2c50(...).jpg (51 KB, 217x395) I used to know a guy who developed legit autism because his mom left him home alone a lot when he was a kid and when left to his own devices, he apparently ate nothing but butterdogs Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri) 15:43:19 No.7881780 >>7881790 >>7881797 >>7883064 >>7881736 >Butterdogs I'm sorry, what ?

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Anonymous C 128 KB JPG 07/31/21(Sat) 10:53:56 No.154336324 >OH NOOO I HAVE A LOYAL SMOKING HOT WIFE WHO WANTS TO F--- ALL THE TIME, TWO CHILDREN, A BIG NICE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS, AND A JOB THAT AFFORDS ME THESE THINGS AAAAHHH HELP ME why was american television like this in the 90s? : Anonymous That's the joke. 07/31/21(Sat) 10:54:42 No.154336353

Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG

Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently

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Anon is an incel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous yahoones Fans Call Reactions To "The Little Mermaid Trailer Racist As Film Generates 1.5 Million Dislikes On YouTube In Two Days 93 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)06:05:19 No.70243834 >be ugly man >ostracized and bullied until you become an adult, at which point you are friendless and invisible >be ugly woman >legions of orbiters that increase your sexual value and self-esteem >also become a millionaire thanks to your "distinguished looks" Funny how that works 29 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon wants to become a driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 80 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 393 KB PNG >>885737827 # 09/16/22 (Fri)21:40:52 No.885737633 I've been studying to become a subway driver. View Thread 09/16/22(Fri)21:42:27 No.885737696 >>885737633 (OP) # The only thing you drive is subway sandwiches you fat ass

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Anon summarizes the enlightend experience | /r/Greentext

RU 50m (9/17 6:30). 170965015 JPG 34KB (343 × 360) 1 Reply . >>170959768 (OP) I edge for two weeks, meditate, exercise, don't watch p--- and then on the 14th day I eat 25mg LSD and listen to hands free orgasm hypnosis audio. You can't even imagine how good it feels, I literally orgasm twice or more in a row just laying there motionless. Even irl woman can't give you this much pleasure :

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Anon summarizes the ageing experience | /r/Greentext

8h (9/16 23:00). 18362472 16 Re. 1 Img. JPG 129KB (1234 × 1219) 9 Replies So small his weight doesn't press the keys >be young >eat mostly healthy >when I eat junk food it's fine >hit late 20s : >eat mostly healthy >if I eat junk food, or even something borderline like cereal, I'm curled up in abdominal pain for 12+ hours Enjoy eating everything you want while you can. What the f--- man.

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In haram's way | /r/Greentext

09/17/22(Sat)03:37:36 No.70243683 >someone stole my sandwich for one week straight >ask HR for camera recording >it's Ahmed the Islam enjoyer >trap card: activated >make the pork as tendie as possible so it feels like chicken (40gr) >spread bacon grease on the both bread slice (7g) >2 drops of white wine alcohol : Anonymous ay 139 KB PNG >feed him for 8 months, he even brags about some infidels always prepare lunch for him so far he has consumed 7.680 kg (16.93 lbs) pork, 1.344 kg (2.96 lbs) of bacon grease and 1/9 of vinegar bottle. any Islamic scholars here know how deep in hell he is now? : Anonymous 70 KB JPG 09/17/22(Sat)03:46:07 No.70243717 >Feeds a thief so the spirit world will take vengeance on him as a ghost You really showed that guy.

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Modern women | /r/Greentext

09/16/22 (Fri) 15:41:11 No.242681420 : Anonymous >>242679806 # >have meaningful connection with partner >f--- like rabbits because "he's the one" >relationship doesn't work out, break up >have meaningful connection with another partner >f--- like rabbits because "he's the one" >relationship doesn't work out, break up >have meaningful connection with ANOTHER partner >f--- like rabbits because "he's the one" >relationship doesn't work out, break up >repeat ad nauseum

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A realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 140 KB JPG 09/09/22 (Fri)15:23:10 No.70150849 >imagine something horrible happens to me >imagine dealing with said horrible thing >imagine my depression, my lifestyle after it >imagine breaking the news to other people >imagine how they'd react >imagine how others would treat me and how i'd live after that horrible thing >do this often >sort of wish the horrible thing would happen what is wrong with me

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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anon has a crush on someone | /r/Greentext

>be me, yesterday >19 and gay "I only get as high as giraffe >have a crush on classmate p---- on Mondays" >ask him if he wants to come over Dafa to play Xbox and do some BDSM this weekend 184 KB JPG >he asks what BDSM means >"Building Detailed Structures in Minecraft" >"sure, bro! you gotta see the house I built" >mfw I asked him to come over to do BDSM with me and he said yes >mfw he thinks we're gonna build s--- in Minecraft >mfw I'm gonna get him drunk and stick my d--- in his ass Guys, I'm not even joking, I'm so f------ nervous Imao

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Anon asks for work interview advice | /r/Greentext

Interviewer: "Name your biggest weakness" Interviewer: "Name your bigges(...) ITS OVER 10 KB PNG 09/03/22(Sat)19:55:23 No.88421703 How do I answer this without looking like a fool? : Anonymous >>88421703 (OP) # If female interviewer 09/03/22(Sat)23:54:31 No.88424526 >>88432026 # >"My biggest weakness is coffee, do you know of any good places nearby we can go" >She takes me back to her house >Removes all her clothes and gives me a job If male >"My biggest weakness is probably my family, they are the only thing holding me back from getting ahead in life" >He takes me back to his house >Removes all of his clothes and asks me for a job.

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Anon doesn't like IRAnon larpers | /r/Greentext

File: DB0F69DB-04E5-4C8A-B673-1(...).jpg (187 KB, 2023x1453) | >>170573937 >>170575795 C Anonymous 09/08/22(Thu)18:36:46 No.170573793 ► >When a long-reigning monarch dies peacefully in her sleep at the age 96

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anon witnessed a fellow 4channer at work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SIDES GRIPPLED 153 KB JPG 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for amerif is) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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Greentext Stories - I’m sorry what | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri)15:28:05 No.7881736 7881780 >>7882025 >>7882181 >>7883072 >>7883234 File: 766a578cfb021a78ce3bf2c50(...).jpg (51 KB, 217x395) I used to know a guy who developed legit autism because his mom left him home alone a lot when he was a kid and when left to his own devices, he apparently ate nothing but butterdogs Anonymous 07/15/16(Fri) 15:43:19 No.7881780 >>7881790 >>7881797 >>7883064 >>7881736 >Butterdogs I'm sorry, what ?

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