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File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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anon has a crush on someone | /r/Greentext

>be me, yesterday >19 and gay "I only get as high as giraffe >have a crush on classmate p---- on Mondays" >ask him if he wants to come over Dafa to play Xbox and do some BDSM this weekend 184 KB JPG >he asks what BDSM means >"Building Detailed Structures in Minecraft" >"sure, bro! you gotta see the house I built" >mfw I asked him to come over to do BDSM with me and he said yes >mfw he thinks we're gonna build s--- in Minecraft >mfw I'm gonna get him drunk and stick my d--- in his ass Guys, I'm not even joking, I'm so f------ nervous Imao

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Anon asks for work interview advice | /r/Greentext

Interviewer: "Name your biggest weakness" Interviewer: "Name your bigges(...) ITS OVER 10 KB PNG 09/03/22(Sat)19:55:23 No.88421703 How do I answer this without looking like a fool? : Anonymous >>88421703 (OP) # If female interviewer 09/03/22(Sat)23:54:31 No.88424526 >>88432026 # >"My biggest weakness is coffee, do you know of any good places nearby we can go" >She takes me back to her house >Removes all her clothes and gives me a job If male >"My biggest weakness is probably my family, they are the only thing holding me back from getting ahead in life" >He takes me back to his house >Removes all of his clothes and asks me for a job.

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Anon doesn't like IRAnon larpers | /r/Greentext

File: DB0F69DB-04E5-4C8A-B673-1(...).jpg (187 KB, 2023x1453) | >>170573937 >>170575795 C Anonymous 09/08/22(Thu)18:36:46 No.170573793 ► >When a long-reigning monarch dies peacefully in her sleep at the age 96

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anon witnessed a fellow 4channer at work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous SIDES GRIPPLED 153 KB JPG 04/15/19(Mon)18:03:27 No.797456453 >be me >like 45 mins ago >sitting in science class >fat weeb sitting next to me on his phone >fat weeb is sitting next to girl wearing thongs (flip flops for amerif is) >you can see where this is going >he takes a pic of her feet under the table but his flash is on >mfw he doesn't hesitate for a second and hauls ass out of the room >mfw the girl has been crying her eyes out since

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The Sims can still surprise Anon | /r/Greentext

>playing Sims 2 >guy starts to live with his gf, they have a babby >cheats on her with maid >she moves out with babby >soon the infant starts showing up on his lot, lying there on the sidewalk >w--.jpg >tell friend who is a big sims f-- >explains kids develop a negative relationship and a grudge towards a parent if they commit adultery >sims holding a grudge can show up on your lot to kick over your trash bin >infant showed up to kick the trash bin but cant do s--- since infant sims cant move on their own f--- me, playing this game for 15 years now and it can still surprise me

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Anon comes out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/26/18(Thu)15:18:40 No.766945158 Feels real sad man Go to school with +1500 people >Be me >Friend bets me $10 to yell out I'm gay in the 21 KB JPG middle of school assembly >TFW the school starts to clap >TFW I've gone to far to back out >TFW you just cucked yourself for the rest of highschool, i.e 2 more years for $10 >TFW you never get paid

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anon wants to fuck Michael | /r/Greentext

260 KB JPG >Be me >post real quality greentexts on 4chan everyday >friend is redditfag >one day goes up to me and shows me his post on r/4chan > he took my post from 4chan > got 32k upvotes > tell him its mine > doesnt believe me and tells me i have to prove it > cant prove it I know you see this Michael, f--- you

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anon does a little tomfoolery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 minute ago 816107590 Today I paid the ultimate price >Be me, high school > In class, computer programming > teacher assigns is a google doc study guide for finals > "you guys can work on it or whatever, share it amongst yourself" > class shares one doc between 30 students > get idea > in google docs (for those of you unfamiliar), you can highlight any piece of text and insert a link > type "Final Exam Answer Key (don't tell Mr. Teacher)" > Highlight and insert link > Next day > teacher is a lazy f--- who doesn't make us do anything in the last week b4 finals, so most people start studying or screwing off > several murmurs from different rows > suddenly hear he glorious sound of women hentai being blasted at full volume from several different computers > dying of laughter > never caught

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Anon is schizophrenic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 200 KB JPG 09/16/22 (Fri)13:25:40 No.885734753 >these freshmen get smaller every year >i want to eat them >i hunger

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Rodnerick Jeromangelo Anonymous | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/22 (Fri)20:52:31 No.727072C >be me >born >one chance at life >parents mame me Rodnerick >second name Jeromangelo it's been downhill ever since

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Anons take advantage of the generation gaps | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Zoomer players C GETROFTRING FRATED CK LATINE Am D CASA LANCIACI AND THE PLAFENS BILD THE DRES AND TAM THE BOC IN AS & PET FREWARY SEED CARPENTINS THE FIRE 159 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/05/22(Mon)06:23:30 No.85912607 The best part about playing with the new generation, is that none of them understand that I'm ripping off the plotlines from oldass boomer films. They think I'm a genius. 09/05/22(Mon )08:35:48 No.85913230 >>85912607 # my players are boomers who dont watch anime so i rip off entire one piece arcs. they always talk about how creative i am.

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Femanon's problems | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB JPG 09/04/22(Sun)17:10:54 No.70086844 >my >tfw getting old is inevitable husband/boyfriend will always subconsciously want to f--- younger p---- and would probably cheat on me with a younger woman if given the opportunity how can I cope with this?

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Greentext Stories - Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

File: 1352501900004.jpg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 Replies: >>435971345 >>435971635 >>435971949 >>435972123 >>435972254 >>435972291 >>435972559 >>435972704 >>435973158 >>435973159 >>435973326 >>435973549 >>435973950 >>435974179 >>435974538 >>435974676 >>435975137 >>435975236 >>435975307 >>435975408 >>435975448 >>435975862 >>435975875 >>435975909 >>435975973 >gf is prego >we like to get kinky anyways >one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering >ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" >"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" >mfw

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