Anon visits India. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

445 KB JPG >be me >finishing last year of med school >hardest thing I've ever done in my life >super intense studies never really had time for social life or grills >last day of class >all the disciplines gathers for final summit >meet random Indian girl >pretty hot for a street s------ >smalltalk.mp3 >she invites me to end of the year party at friends house >f--- it why not >arrive at party >full of chad and becky medfags so party is boring as f--- >think about leaving >finally spot the poopy qt >she's actually really interesting >end up talking about vidyas and music all night >eventually tells me her parents still live in some sium back in India >parents gave everything to get her to school >sadviolin.wav >fast forward a month >finally graduated >grill and I have getting more serious >we are both looking for a residency at any hospital that will take us >entire process is exhausting >India gt tells me she is going home to visit her parents >asks me to go with her >never been abroad and need a break from jab search >decide to go with cont. >Airlndia.gif >inside of the plane smells like a curry dumpster >finally make it to New Delhi >parents live an hour car ride outside of the city >landscape getting increasingly s----- >see people literally s------- in the streets >wild dogs everywhere >get to parents house >mudhut with no windows >qt keeps apologizing for the slum horror >introduce myself to the parents >typical India npc's but super nice >mom starts cooking dinner >dad constantly swearing and chasing off dogs that try to come in the house while mom cooks >tells me the dogs are huge problem >tells me locals round up and kill the female dogs to stop them from breeding >grossed if out but shrug it off >mom announces dinner is ready >never had authentic Indian food so I'm f------ stoked >mfw the mom brings out an actual lasagna >mom sees I'm stunned and confused >"oh, anon, my daughter told me you're Italian" >i'm sicilian but ok >don't want to be rude >to my shock the lasagna is actually incredible >mom explains how difficult it was to find the ingredients >I ask what kind of meat she used >"oh it's from last nights dog slaughter >excusemewhatthefuck.jpeg >mfw I'm eating street dog >mfw I'm eating dog lasagna >mfw I realize I'm literally eating bitch lasagna >bitch lasagna >T-series ain't nothin but a bitch lasagna

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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asks legit questions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 01/31/22(Mon)11:02:46 No.67227363 >someone posts their overweight cat/dog on the internet >dozens of people crawl out of the woodwork to scold them for abusing their animal by letting it be fat >someone posts their overweight child on the internet >nobody says anything even though it is several orders of magnitude worse than letting a f------ cat be fat >if I say anything I get banned from wherever and people act like I am evil Why?

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Anon isn't the problem. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/22/22(Sat)08:06:44 No.70685211 >i don't have a gf >women are the problem >i am an ugly, unhygienic, mess >women are the problem >i smell bad >women are the problem >i spent 16 hours yesterday posting misogynistic rants on /r9k/ 15 KB PNG >women are the problem >my politics are abhorrently right-wing, racist, fascistic, and evil >women are the problem >in fact, i literally want society to return to medieval morality and keep women as sex slaves >women are the problem >i don't work out, don't have a job, and can barely function day-to-day >women are the problem >i am socially retarded and angry all the time >women are the problem >i hate my parents >women are the problem >i ooze repulsiveness >women are the problem

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are you sure about that?Anon doesn’t have autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 65 KB PNG 12/29/18(Sat)20:25:29 No.50120427 >be me > 16 years old >cute girl from class sends me a message >"hey, anon, I've got two tickets to this comedy show, would you like to..." >thinking she wants to sell them to me >"oh, no thanks, I don't really like these guys" > oh... okay, sorry >more than 4 years later >lying in bed unable to sleep >finally realise what she meant >mfw : Anonymous Could be worse. Could have autism 12/29/18(Sat)20:26:44 No.50120446

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Anon tells a joke...well, more of a comment really | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous E WEEKEND UPDATE 922 KB PNG 10/21/22(Fri)13:19:02 No.175853932 >last week on tucker carlson tonight, kanye who goes by the name "ye" made the shocking statement quote "jews own the banks". >in response, JP Morgan & Chase removed his bank account. 10/21/22(Fri)13:21:56 No.175854055 : Anonymous >>175853932 (OP) # W-where's the joke Norm??

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anon is 14 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSw/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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anons sister browses reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 25 KB PNG 02/03/19(Sun)02:46:20 No.791658710 >be me >post true greentext about jacking off into my sisters panties >gets on reddit >sister is redditfag >shows me the story >fake laugh and spaghetti all over the floor >make up excuse about violent diarrhea before leaving >return all stolen panties >mfw this makes it on reddit too hi emma

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atheist.... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/18/16(Tue)18:29:55 No.32173943 Atheism turned me into a little cringe retard when I was a teenager. 159 KB JPG On christmas day when I was 14 I came downstairs during the night and destroyed the tree and left a note for my family. I can't remember exactly but the note was something like >I have removed the Angel from the tree and replaced it with a Bunsen Burner. The real bringer of light. >I have removed the chocolate from the tree. Science doesn't allow chocolate to grow on trees >I have removed the decorations for the same reason >The presents beneath the tree will be burnt if I ever see them placed in the presence of religion again My dad beat the s--- out of me and gave all my presents to my brothers.

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Big Pan strikes again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 210 KB JPG 10/19/22 (Wed)17:24:23 No.18483816 >saucePAN >it's clearly a pot Who the f--- came up with this s---? 10/19/22(Wed)17:25:31 No.18483825 : Anonymous Big Pan doesn't give a f--- about you

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Anon becomes a Plague Doctor | /r/Greentext

Legend of the Plague Doctor Anonymous > Dress up as plague doctor. >Walk down street to McDonalds. >Enter, walk to counter. >Hot blond girl turns around and screams. >Put on deep voice. >"DO NOT BE AFRAID, CHILD!" >Wave arms, leap onto counter. >Kickover register and charity jar. >Raise hands into air. >"PURRRRIFFFFYYYYYYYYY!" >Manager storms in, appears angry. >Moonwalk. >Kick fat kid's McFlurry from hands. >"You are fat. You need not this." >Tip hat to manager, jump from counter. >Head for door, see bitch/hot girl from high school. >She has fries, is staring with gaping jaw. >Sprint to her. >Grab her fries, slap her. >Manager shouts, tries to grab hat. >Spin around, slap him across face. >"UNHAND ME, MALE OF BROWN SKIN!" >Sparta kick the door. >Run out of store. >Walk the dinosaur. >Go home, leave without costume. >Return to McDonald's, see sign with "no dogs allowed" stuff. >See picture of plague doctor with cross-out thing on it. >LOL.

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Anon is a based centrist who hates neoliberalism | /r/Greentext

It's time to stop blaming immigrants It's time to stop blaming immi(...) a fos MASS TRIVIT 10/20/22(Thu)17:47:09 No.400752195 Mohamad Safa ✔ @mhdksafa When your boss's income has risen 937% since 1978 and yours has increased by only 5.7%, it's time to stop blaming immigrants for your woes. 5:42 AM 10/20/22 Twitter for iPhone . 3648A8F4-D61C-44E5-8B6A-A2BD4937BC58.jpg 120 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 7471G+CT) 10/20/22(Thu)17:48:21 No.400752369 >>400752195 (OP) # My boss's income has risen by 937% because he can employ immigrants for less. I will hang you both. >>400752809 # >>400753151 # >>400753370 # >>400754205 # >>400754956 # >>400755364 # >>400755424 # >>400755787 # >>400756343 # >>400756803 # >>400758389 # >>400758575 # >>400758595 # >>400758808 # >>400759099 # >>400762349 # >>400762399 # >>400762975 # >>400763158 # >>400763218 # >>400763327 #

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Anon mourns | /r/Greentext

File: 1389413965397.jpg-(6 KB, 250x246, 1386513033397s.jpg) Anonymous 01/10/14(Fri)23:19:25 UTC-5 No.526348961 [Reply] Feels thread? Feels thread. >be me 3 years ago >Have crush on girl >easily 9/10 >ohyesnigger.potato >but Me = beta as f--- >Okaywhatever.jpeg >After that weeks she becomes worse >End up talking to her finally >Turns out she's not a bitch to beta-anon >2 months later she moves out of state with her mom >We still talked over the internet and such >January 10th, 2011 she dies. >I mourn for a whole month. >I finally turn my game back on >I look at the typhlosion she gave me >We start talking everyday >She cool as hell nygawh >We share the same love for pokemanz, and other things >I develop a huge crush on her >We become great friends >About 3 months after she moves away she get sick >It's leukemia >It has an item attacked >Its mail >We play games together all the time, best time of my life. >I cry like a betabitch for days >I still talked to her through it all like a friend. Still like her a lot >One of her favorite things to do was play pokemon over the internet, with Pokemon soulsilver. >One day we trade pokemon, it's her prized typhlosion. >"Why did you give me that? It's your favorite." >"Because I think it will like you more, Anon" >It says "I love you" >I cry even more for days. >I play Pokemon Soul Silver everyday with that typhlosion. /b/ros I can't help it. I'm not sure exactly what love it, but if I have ever loved a person, it was her.

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A little bird told me | /r/Greentext

File: tenor.gif (567 KB, 414x278) Anonymous 10/18/20 (Sun)06:21:23 No.60523450 [Reply] >>60523869 >>60524569 >have spent the last week or so hearing this weird scratching noise in my left ear >keep reaching into my ear with my finger trying to figure out what it is, that does nothing >scratching noise continues >no other physical symptoms but that >this happens for about a week no idea what it is starting to ter worried >suddenly a hour a so ago the scratching got louder and louder >an about half inch long cockroach suddenly crawled out of my left ear and ran away >scratching noise stopped O-ok

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