MOMS SHOULD GET A FAST PASS TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AT COFFEE SHOPS. HONEY, YOU'RE 22 & SLEPT 10 HOURS LAST NIGHT? GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE

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Dear Anonymous Passerby, Don't worry, you're safe now! Your act of casual cruelty was successful. The complaint you lodged with the HOA was heard. They had me take down the small treefort that I built on this location with my sons during the pandemic. No longer will its presence offend your walk) past my house. Please enjoy your stroll free from the sound of my children's play and laughter. They are safely back inside now, watching television I'm sure. Enjoy the unobstructed view of my backyard. I will try to keep it up to code. Best, -Dave

Rylee @RyleeMoser FOR WHAT REASON DOES EVERY APARTMENT COMPLEX HAVE A DOG WEIGHT LIMIT OF 20 POUNDS? I can promise you my 90 pound golden retriever is a hell of a lot better behaved than Karen's 7 pound p------------ devil worshipping chihuahua

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7:32 MOMS SHOULD GET A FAST PASS TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AT COFFEE SHOPS. HONEY, YOU'RE 22 & SLEPT 10 HOURS LAST NIGHT? GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE

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iMessage Today 2:52 PM Can you ask for no cheese on my cheeseburger Yeah and apparently the hamburger is a dollar cheaper if you just want that I do not want a hamburger. I want a cheeseburger with no cheese. If I wanted a hamburger, I'd order a hamburger. @decentbirthday There goes your tip. Okay Delivered

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Karen - TeAchErS sHouLd GeT fRee PasSeS BeCaUsE tHeY DEaL WIth YoUr SpAwNS BEcAuSe YOu ReFusE TO TaKe CaRe O...

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MOMS SHOULD GET A FAST PASS TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE AT COFFEE SHOPS. HONEY, YOU'RE 22 & SLEPT 10 HOURS LAST NIGHT? GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE

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