-
On This Day Three Years Ago The Viral Mention Of The 'Pharaoh's Curse' Appeared On The Internet -
Nobody Is As Ready For Pillowy Mounds Of Mashed Potatoes As Uncle Phil -
'Thanksgiving Grandma' Plans To Reunite With Mistaken Friend For The 9th Year Since 2016 -
Blessed By The Gift Of Prophecy, This Headline By 'The Onion' Has Been An Inspiration For Schadenfreude Memes -
People Are Joking About How Korean Mahwa 'The Ki Sisters' Is Like 'Baki For Women'
+1
Trump goes to Racoon City | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Apr 13, 2023 at 11:24AM EDT
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext
Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
File type: png
Resolution: (718px x 843px)
File size: 466 KB
More:
![Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:12:17 No.239955161 1rst 1. Buy stuff in bulk instead of buying it at a vending machine or news stand. You save money. 2. If you have an iPhone, jailbreak it and tether it to your laptop instead of paying 80 bucks for high speed wireless. Also, if you have a laptop, look up how to use backtrack 3 to crack wireless wep keys. And just call at&t and cancel your 3G plan all together, then you can use wifi on your iPhone. 3. If you're paying for your internet and text messaging on your iPhone. Get rid of text messaging, you can use your email to send text messages to people using 30332358443@txt.att.net or 30332358443@tmomail.net etc. 4. Instead of renting, pay to buy a home. Then fix up your home and resell it for twice the price. 5. Instead of driving or paying to own a car, ride a bike. You'll save money on insurance, repairs, and gas. The bike will let you exercise while you're going places and you'll save time by not having to go to the gym. 6. If you want to go to the gym, go swimming instead. You burn more calories that way. over 9000. If you buy a car, buy a hybrid or something that runs on electricity. You save more money on gas. 8. Invest in solar panels, the price for them has come down. 9. Get an uninterrupted power supply at costco. A certain brand kicks in occasionally, to save you money on electricity. You save about 60 bucks a year. 10. Date older women who have more experience, they have more money and are less likely to leave. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:13:26 No.239955520 2nd>>239955161 11. If you need to cheat on your girlfriend, come up with a fake nickname and use your middle name as your last name (in case you DO have an encounter with you and her and your real gf). Use a fake email, and a fake phone number (yes, cheating is expensive if you do not want to get caught, think Dexter on Showtime). 12. If you want to get a girl who is out of your league or super hot, pretend to be Mormon or Christian or any kind of hard to follow religion and go to their church and meet women there. You can later, be less religious and the woman is less likely to leave you. 13. Never tell car rental places you're going out of state and say you're staying inside your state, otherwise they charge you interstate travel taxes, also tell them to let you use your own insurance if you already have it, you'll save about $30. 14. Eat more complex carbs and proteins instead of starchy foods and ramen. You'll have more energy during the day and can function better. 15. If you have trouble reading books. Get books on tape and play them at 4 times their speed on your iPhone or iPod or while swimming (get a waterproof kit). 16. Do ab exercises during the day even while you're at work. Just flex them throughout the day and you'll be ripped much much faster. 17. When buying something, think of wether you'll have it in 4 years. You'll save money that way. 18. Read 4chan's message boards for threads like this and suck up as much info as you can. If you don't see a life-hack thread, start one. 19. Look for p--- on boards like this instead of having to look for it for hours. People usually post the best they've already disovered. 20. Never be afraid to ask. One answered question can avoid hours of searching. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:14:03 No.239955713 3rd>>239955520 21. When driving on a snowy freeway that only has 2 lanes and there are no other cars around, drive at the center of the road taking up both lanes, so you have more room to work with in case you skid. 22. Do your own oil changes and tire rotations. It's not hard. Simply unscrew the bolt at the bottom of your car and use a large bowl to catch the oil and pour it back into the jugs. Just throw the jugs in the trash. No one will know. To rotate your tires, use your car jack to lift up the middle side of your car so both wheels are in the air. 23. Instead of investing in hard drives, download Gmail Drives the application and just use gmail to upload your files. 24. If you have p--- you don't want anyone to find, use File Cutter and split it up into multiple files and upload to a Gmail Drive account. 25. Don't waste time categorizing your p--- into folders if you do save them on your hard drive. Instead, just add tags to all the jpgs and search with windows search for whatever you're in the mood. 26. Buy DVDs in bulk and burn all your files to them. It never hurts to have backup. 27. Never buy movies. Download them from torrents. Same with music. 28. Go to parties if you're hungry. You could live off just party food without having to buy anything yourself. 29. If it's too much effort or takes up too much time, there is an easier way. 30. Buy a bread machine and make your own bread by storing the flour and ingredients at home. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:14:58 No.239956038 4th>>239955713 31. Think robots. Use as much automated machinery as home as you can. For example, get an iRobot vacuum cleaner that vacuums while you're away. Time is money. In some areas it cheaper to have maid who cooks, cleans, and goes to the store, instead of doing those thigns yourself. 32. Wear boxers. Wearing briefs makes your balls not produce as much sperm and you can run into all kinds of problems. 33. If you're circumsized, pull on your skin frequenly to extend the nerves you have lost when you got cut. If you're uncircumsed, wash your PENIS frequently. 34. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. Total and Crest have long lasting protection that will keep you from having decay for 12 hours. Get an electric toothbrush. Electric toothbrushes are at least twice as effective as regular brushing, if not more. 35. Cats are stress relievers, if you own one, you'll have lower levels of stress (1 personally don't care for pets). 36. Consider a different point of view before making a decision. Pretend you're a different person like say... Tyler Durden and his significant other. You'll get more s--- done that way and know what you'll really want. 37. If you can build it at home or prepare it, why buy it? 38. "The things you own end up owning you." Don't be afraid to throw out something you don't really need. Do a yard sale or sell stuff on ebay. If no one is buying it, it's time to give it away or just throw it out. 39. Eventually everything is going to be done by robots. Don't work at a job where you're not happy nor doing what you want. In the future, a robot or software program will replace you anyway (I'm serious). Study hard to become a doctor or artist to create things or do things no one else can do. 40. Even though 4chan is aggressive, 4chan is very knowledgable and is like 40 000 minds put together, ask honest opinions, and you'll get them 33% of the time. Sort through b-------. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:16:28 No.239956614 5th>>239956038 come on guys i keep getting flood errors. 41. Experiment with technology to become more knowledgable. For exmaple, get a screw driver and open every electronic device in the house, just to see how it works. It never hurts to have a general idea. Put them back together afterwards. I once fixed my USB hub on my monitor, just by opining it up and soldering a lose connection back together. Saved me about 400 bucks. 42. Use credit cards instead of cash, I recommend having an account with Etrade. they give you free checks and the money market works as a checking account and you get interest, plus you can use that money to immediately invest in stocks and immediately sell and use that money on the etrade card. Use an American Express or Discover card with 5% cashback. Might as well be earning money, while you spend. Always pay off yoru credit cards. Never invest in cheap stocks. Invest in companies that are doing well, like Apple and Google or Starbucks. 43. Eat lots of fish, vegetables, chicken, whole grains. Look at the package before you buy it. Eating too many chalories will make you fat and slow you down. Figure out how the food pyramid works and stock your fridge and storage accordingly. 44. Don't have too many female friends. Women cost money. Have one good female friend, but keep track of how much you are spending on her. If you spend too much, it's time to dump her. Be straight forward and tell her she's too expensive to be around. Hold your ground and be assertive, you run your own life. 45. Don't be pushed around anywhere, get a third opinion, if someone is tricking you into signing contract or buying something, see through it and stop right there and ask for a copy of the contract. Read everything before you buy. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:18:09 No.239957248 6th >>239956614 they arnt numbered after this one 46. If you're being charged an early termination fee from an internet company, here's how to get around most of them: Tell them you're moving to a state where they don't service the area. Do a little research. It can save you $200-400. 47. When buying a car, check what all the extra fees are. There are up to 18 extra fees that can be around $100 to $500 each (most of which you can avoid). Do not buy a car with more than 9% interest (used or refurbished). Do not buy a new car for more than 2% interest. 48. Never make yourself look like a fool. Make controlled moves when around people. More chicks will dig you if you're confident and know what you want. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:21:07 No.239958351 7th>>239957248 To win at rock paper scissors: Before actually playing show some subliminal moves that they think you are going to make. I.e Keep clinching your fist, open your palm, etc to make them think you're going to throw rock/paper. Women throw scissor the most. Men throws rock the most. When shaking the fist for the count, do so first and hard. This makes them hesitant and they play the same moves over again. Bacteria that cause tooth decay, acne, tuberculosis, and leprosy can be cured with cashews. If you cut a 'V' shape into your toe nails, you can prevent 'in-grown' toe nails. Here's a little psychology trick, it's called anchoring mental states. You want to make girl smile? Try this out. Once you start talking to the girl and you have her in a conversation try to notice her breathing pattern. Try and inhale and exhale at the same time she does. (don't make it obvious, and it takes some practice)Next, wiggle your left hand fingers anytime she smiles while you are talking to her. Eventually, you will have anchored her smile and her mental state to the wiggling of your fingers. Every time you wiggle she will return to that mental state. NOTE: you don't have to use wiggling. You can pretty much use any subtle move. Try using the left side of your body though. ALSO, if you have the balls, instead of creating an anchor with your own body, use hers. Touch her left shoulder every time she smiles or laughs. If you're given a cocktail napkin or coaster with excessive condensation, sprinkle salt on it. It will cease to lift up with your drink. If you park your car somewhere where you think it may get stolen, remove something small but vital, like the fuse for the fuel pump. Use packing peanuts when setting mice traps. Don't use peanut-butter or cheese, they will attract other rodents/insects. But, mice need house supplies. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:30:26 No.239961744 whatever its almost done anyways... Also, while on a date, talk about something the girl likes. While doing so, do something simple, yet mundane, like playing with the pepper-shaker. Later, when you wanna suggest something you may be having confidence suggesting, play with the same pepper-shaker. The suggestion will link back to the thing she likes and she'll normally agree. ECA. Ephedrine, Caffiene, Aspirin. 20mg, 200mg, 81mg respectively. Best way to burn fat and curb appetite. Take this twice daily and do sit ups and you will lose weight. Secretaries ALWAYS TREAT SECRETARIES RESPECTFULLY AND GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO HELP THEM NEVER NEVER NEVER ANTAGONIZE A SECRETARY. Secretaries and Admin Assistants are the gatekeepers for resources and people that you will need to have help you -- they also have very strong relationships with those i positions of authority and also serve as informers to decision-makers. If they say you're good, or that you've always been great to work with, that will factor in on you. When filling out important paperwork, scan it in to Adobe Acrobat and use the typewriter tool to fill it out if you have bad handwriting. Save the document. Now you have two things - a copy in case you lose the paperwork or there is a dispute and a very professionally filled form that can increase perceptions of you and reduce the chance of mistakes when important data is entered If you have more than 10,000 in your bank, start putting money in CDs that are very safe and boring. The sooner you start compounding interest, the more and more powerful it becomes. I will not give more complicated investment advice, but the simple advice is CDs will pay you and play with debt financing before advancing to equity. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:31:10 No.239962006 You can throw clothes in the dryer for about 5 minutes or so to get wrinkles out. Put smelly shoes in a plastic bag and put it in the freezer overnight. The smell is caused by bacteria, which will die when deep frozen. Use lighter fluid to remove sticky stuff from price labels etc. A couple of grains of rice in a salt shaker will absorb moisture and keep the salt from turning into a miniature brick. Sharpen scissors by using them a few times on a piece of sand paper. If theres something you really need to remember the next day, put a weird object in a weird place. It helps you to remember anything by triggering your memory. If you just have to make dookies in a public restroom, you should first drop a big handful of toilet paper into the toilet to provide your turds with a landing zone cushion. This way, the nasty public poop water won't splash back on (or in) your butthole. smiling suppresses the gag reflex. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:31:44 No.239962198 If you need to calibrate a scale, a dollar bill and a penny weigh 1/8 of an ounce. To hasten the onset of night vision, close your eyes for about 20 seconds. Don't admit you're a virgin if you're angling for sex. Most (sensible) people will avoid sex with virgins because they worry about them getting clingy Camwhores: take a screenshot of your image after opening a picture viewer and put it in MS paint or whatever program you use instead of directly uploading it. This way, no creepy f------ can do s--- like use your EXIF data to find your location or other personal information. When throwing a punch, only close your fist at the very last second. You lose a lot of power + balance if you throw all the way with a clenched fist If you're at college/uni do yourself a favor and google Anki and spaced repetition Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:32:24 No.239962428 when painting with a roller, spread the pain out in a "W" or "M" shape. then in the rest of the space. your coverage will be much better this way. when painting a room you'll eventually reach the bottom of the first gallon before getting all the way to the bottom, open up the next gallon and mix half of it in with the first. the color will be more even this way. if you have a rat/mice problem, just cut the bottom of pop cans down so you have a roughly one and a half inch deep aluminum cup. fill it with antifreeze. the pests will be attracted to it due to its sweet flavor. [[DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE A CAT OR DOG]] when at a bar, try to order drinks from a drunk and/or busy bartender. chances are they'll forget to charge you. even if they do, you can easily ditch a tab if they didn't get your card Write in emails to any major company you can think of, the best ones are food companies like Kraft, Doritos, Pepsi, etc. Any food company you can think of In the Email say that you always buy their products but recently you bought one and it was terrible/broken/damaged/missing product. Nine out of ten times they will send you a coupon for some sort of free product. Just go to each companies website to get their customer relations email address. Most companies actually have a "Questions/Comments?" email address. Take an hour to send out about 20 of these emails to different companies and the free crap will start ROLLING in. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:33:34 No.239962868 Save 10% of your earnings every payday. Hammer into your mind one simple rule 10% of all I earn is mine to keep. If you can save more than 10% fine but 10% is the minimum.Second almost important make a budget and stick to it. You should have your expenses planned out for each month. Look at ways of saving here such as home cooked meals or changing utility companies, always shop around for the best deal. Give yourself money to spend for fun stuff but don't go beyond that. Once you've got a years worth of savings invest it in something, stocks are ok. But a business or property are even better. Every rich person gets there through investment. Bill Gates isn't rich because of money he earned through microsoft, he's rich because he owned microsoft and the company increased in value, his investment in his company made him rich Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:34:09 No.239963074 49. Try bargaining with everyone. Somestimes you'll get a cheaper price just by asking. 50. Get discounts on s---. Save coupons. Get a costco membership. If it's cheaper online, just get it online and have it delivered for free. Learn 2 patience. 51. Learn how 2 cook. Get a cookbook. The internet is your friend and pretty much the biggest cookbook you can get. 52. Duct tape holds the world together. 53. If you want a girl really bad. Ask her out in such a way that she can't say no, "Infront of a lot of people or maybe even her parents." She'll see that you have insane amount of balls, and her parents will also appreciate it. 54. Buy japanese cars, they're less likely to break down. Hondas and Toyotas can go for about 300k to 400k miles before they bite the dust. That's almsot 15 to 20 years of extensive driving. 55. Brunettes are usually bitchier than blondes, and blondes are easier going and easier to get along with. Just something I've noticed. 56. Get a capture card and just watch TV on your PC instead of having one big machine for watching tv and one for doing computer stuff. 57. Apple makes better notebooks than anyone, use bootcamp to put windows on it if you need. 58. Schedule every part of your day in Outlook's Scheduler and then sync it to your phone. Your phone will beep whenever you're supposed to do something. You'll get more s--- done that way. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:38:01 No.239964445 59. Don't buy n64 games used, ever. Get a USB controller or use your PS3 controller and download the rom for n64 60. Have an emergency food kit in your car or home as well as a few jugs of water at home and one in your car, just in case. In the US, it's not an official ADA-compliant handicap parking space if it does not have the sign at the front. The law says that the markings must be visible when there's a car parked the spot. So that big wheelchair logo painted on the ground doesn't cut it, legally.It's surprising how many parking spots have the painted logo, but no sign In addition to hitting buttons or saying Operator, you can also say Representative which works for most voice systems. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:38:33 No.239964635 relationship advice: The secret is keeping them interested. I've seen guys talk to girl after meeting them for the first time, and they go on and on spewing out everything from their childhood to their political opinion. Keep yourself veiled a little, take it easy and don't rush to answer everything. Make it a game and keep her interested. If she ask what you do for a living, don't rush to answer clever guy. Conversations like that doesn't interest a girl. They're just like you. It's very easy. They're begging for a guy man enough to f--- them. Instead of answering, just slowly, easily, laugh. Just laugh, practice your laugh in private, make it easy and charismatic, carefree and confident. Say something clever. Tell her she wouldn't want to know what you do for a living, and besides a job doesn't define me as a person. Another mystery, keep pulling her toward you mentally and slowly wrap your tentacles around her mind and heart Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:39:27 No.239964951 For this example we will use an Nintendo DS as an example, but will work with most gaming hardware. Buy the s-------- NDS you can find. Second hand, pawn-shop, whatever. Then go buy a new one. Remove the serial-strip from the bottom of the new NDS (preferably razored off and reattached with glue) and apply it to the old one, put the old one in the box and return it. Also, If you are REALLY careful, you razor a new game out of the shrink-wrap. As long as it looks like its still in the original shrink when you return it, they will accept a used game. Great for Pirates if for some reason you can't just torrent 61. Put 1 dollar aside for lottery tickets every month. Even though it's a slim slim chance, you're always keeping your cards open to become a millionaire. Don't overdo it. Just do 1 dollar a month. 62. Some bills have you pay a fee for printing the bill in paper, just have them send you paperless bills to your email address. Anonymous 06/15/10(Tue)00:40:14 No.239965236 And im done 63. Also, some companies make you pay weird fees for s--- you don't need and can cancel. Skim through your bills and make sure you're not paying for third party s--- that you have no idea what it's about. 64. cook stuff for the week to come, so you don't spend as much time cooking throughout the week. Then freeze it into portions that you can eat later. 65. Instead of eating a lot of sweets try to keep to to just granola, rasins, or chocolate. Get an AeroGarden and grow your own lettuce or tomatoes or strawberries. 66. Ask people to help you do s---, basically, make your own personal army. 5 people doing something that helps you, is better than only doing soemthing for yourself. 67. Get a water filter for your sink instead of buying bottled water. 68. Be done with s--- from the past. Learn 2 move on. Don't keep books or heavy bulky s---. Read stuff on your iphone or laptop or tablet. Keep everything as data.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/002/569/852/1f2.jpg "Anon offered some very good life tips ... for 2010. | /r/Greentext")
+1
Greentext Stories - Trump goes to Racoon City | /r/Greentext
| ◄ Previous | View Gallery Random Image | Next ► |
Comments (0)
Add a Comment
Image Details
333 views (15 from today)
Uploaded Apr 13, 2023 at 11:24AM EDT
Origin Entry
Source
Tags
reddit, greentext, greentext memes, 4chan, 4chan memes, /r/greentext
About the Uploader
Reddit Moments
Treasurer & Media Maid
There are no comments currently available.
Display Comments