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This goes out to the folk on reddit who "America bad" so hard that they Simp for China and Russia si...
Uploaded by Reddit Moments Jun 22, 2023 at 10:23AM EDT
reddit political compass memes /r/politicalcompassmemes
Origin Entry: Political Compass
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![Carl Mark's Commu- nion Manny Festo >Something something the Yolk of the Egg must be free from the Burj Wassee >If the poor owned factories there wouldn't be poor people anymore >Everyone has it, even you Your Library Shelf >It's full of all 8 books you've ever read >I've never actually read it but that won't stop me from strawmanning what I think it's about >You grossly misinterpret the themes to make your ideas prevalent Propaganda Pamphlets >Usually spouting some ideology adjacent to yours, in the vain attempt to show you have range >If you read one more you might be able to make a compass about them >Invariably write some variant of "I just think they're neat" well billy yeah, this ideology died down after a war half a century ago SOMETHINK SOMETHINE COMMUNIST THEORY >I just think they're neat Revolutionary Armband >Like a good RPG, your background affiliation changes the story of how you got this >If you're left, you heroically covered the retreat for a protest and their leader gave his to you at the hospital 1 >If you're right, you found a vandal and beat him up, taking it as a trophy of your exploits Dying Plant >You're trying so desperately to prove to yourself that you could survive the transition to self-sustenance >You refuse give up on this wilting pet of yours despite having no green thumb to speak of >They say greenery brightens a space but it probably just reminds you of failure Prepared Molotov >You're ready for the revolution with this single improvised incendiary device >...Actually its not quite made yet, but you got a bottle of Everclear and a rag ready >...Actually that's Bacardi 30 Proof and you drank it all, and that rag beside it is your cumsock Cumsock >It's an elaborate metaphor for the struggles of the working class; as all the sperm cells are in the same socky commune and the bourgeosie obstruct their natural goal of inseminating eggs >Also the people will collectively make a flourishing landscape of culture, represented by the growing fungal culture in the sock Like any good writer, I blatantly plagirized Icy-Wolverine-7011 for this one Broken Clock >It's right twice a day >Your phone clock's existence means there's no reason to replace it. Besides, you just like the aesthetic >You're going to place this one in the ideology you strawman the most cause it's usually wrong >Clean*, spacious**, and comfortable*** *Musty and unwashed for over a year **All the stuff on the bed means only one corner is remotely habitable ***Deflated air mattress on a hard- wood floor >If you're interested, tap me on FB :) Warm Inviting Bed Leftover From Hobby >Plenty of space here for a second person ;) Stint ****I'm so f------ lonely **** Meds >The life of a compassman is arduous, and the masculine virtuousness we embody is not enough to take away the pain >You either don't take as much as you should or you abuse them >I'm sure it has zero impact on your bipolar political pendulum- swinging Protest Sign >It's worn and soggy from its combat tours outside your high school >After a week of protesting for free lunch this got discarded against the bushes >...F--- it, it's yours now. We stay here for you The Token Flag >It's okay to root for the little guy, even though we all know they'll never win Foreign Country Travel Guide >Nothing virtue signals your principles quite like a lost-cause morality pet >You idolize this one country and want to visit, tour, move there, and live a long happy life as its citizen >You are irrespective of the culture or language, and unsure if they'd even want you there >That's not gonna stop you from fantasizing about your vacation you're definately taking there someday The Profound Book >Piece of literature you picked up because it was required reading for one of your classes >You decide to idolize the text and leave it out on the nightstand to impress people who visit your bedroom >Proceed to outspiel the original writer's "Buy My Book" Speech >A long time ago you tried to do something more physical with your life >6 months later you decided you wouldn't hack it anymore >Its very presence afflicts you with nostalgia of a time where you actually tried The Gift >It doesn't really suit you, but its from your friend, why would you ever throw it out? >Granted, it's a collection of weird art and smut fanfiction involving you... >...Wait, did he have a crush on you? 11 The Recreational Substance >Cmon, you've lived a pious life as a lib lef- wait, now auth lef- wait, now auth righ- wait, now lib right... right? >Anyway, you've more than earned the right to have a vice. I'm sure we'll all understand >"Don't knock it till you try it" BRAZZERS Utter Depravity >Induce nuance into your based compass by including the craziest coomer implements known to man >Laugh as your shameless sodomite practices incite riot in the comments >Problem? The Edgy Flag >This is the flag you feel ashamed to fly in public, though it will always be at the periphery for your friends and online "acquaintances" >Getting it "out of the closet" would probably cost you career prospects Old ID >A token of your previous life and its journeys >And a sad reminder of the life you led then was more exciting had you capitalized on the opportunity >You'll still try and use it to take advantage of those who don't check the expiration date too hard The Safe Flag >Yeah yeah you're proud of a country, of course you are it came free with your f------ political views >God save the Queen or some dumb s--- c.) >You probably hung it over your bed facing your computer Childhood Artifact >No amount of radicalization or transformation can completely sever you from your roots >That little plushie you had since you were 4 was there before your conversion to [ideology], and will be there long after your disillusionment >To remove it would be akin to murdering a part of you Tool of Violence >Emphasize its artistry, talk about its history, explain away your collection as a hobby >We all know why you really have it Deformed Bullet >Your proud souvenoir that got lodged in your wall after someone negligently discharged at your house >Now you get to make jokes about pulling copper out of your home, courtesy of the shooter not using lead >This is totally not a cope for realizing you were standing in front of that hole not 2 minutes prior I am most certainly not projecting on yall Cool Jewelry >You inherited it, or bought it on a whim >Whether its real or not doesn't matter, you thought it looked hella cool >Proceed to never wear it >You include it on this list to prove you have exquisite 'taste' The War Helmet >You can't call yourself a politcal compassman until you have some armor to protect that brain of yours >You either bought it from surplus or someone gave you their war trophy >You definately won't wear it from time to time and dream of dying in some faraway war A Election Memorabilia >Bits and pieces you thrifted over the years cause you thought it was cool >No, you never voted for President Ford, but that won't stop you from collecting the buttons and bobbleheads Leftover Pizza Boxes >The excesses of capitalism pile up in the corner of the room, and much like late- stage capitalism your unmitigated choices have slowly enveloped your room in a foul stench >And much like the capitalist waste producers, you don't care Movie Poster >Casino Royale came out a long long time ago, but that poster is still up on your wall >Partially because the tacks holding it up are part of the wall now >Partially because you loathe white space >At least the movie is now old enough you can be considered "Cultured" Fashionable Hat >Your favorite propaganda film inspired you to buy one >It could work on you if the rest of your fit was just as drippy; because it isn't it feels incredibly neckbeardy >You'll end up never wearing it outside the house or some conventions Religious Iconography >You haven't gone to a religious assembly in years, you don't even really practice at all >But hey, you kept this piece of memorabilia, so squeeze a few updoots from the religious community by including it here Edited Maps of the Schleiffen Plan >Hindsight is 20-20, and brother, you're wearing glasses >Unveil your inner strategic superiority by rewriting events to how they SHOULD have played out, spouting your in-depth historical fanfic as some doctoral thesis >"Nuh uh" your way past your political rivals' in-depth historical fanfics touted as doctoral theses Signed Hol4 Copy >Your prized possession that introduced you to the world of politics >You shaped your ideology off video game mechanics >You bought a second copy after 2k hours because you were worried about deteriorating the disc O >Your desktop has only 2 shortcuts, and Hol4 is one of them Foreign Currency >Wow!!! French Francs? Chinese Yen? Brazilian Pesos? Wow that's so capitalist of you!!! HODL4EVER >Come off as cultured and well-travelled by flaunting your dad's old currency from his cultured and well-travelled days Gift Cards >You've racked up quite the collection in corporate IOUS >You got 17 cents on your Exxon card, refuse to get rid of your Blockbuster giftcard, and have no earthly clue what to do with the Victoria Secret card your grandma mistakenly gave you >If you remembered how much is on them you'll probably end up recirculating them in the birthday economy Consooming Vice >Fill the void in your heart with a money sink that you'll eventually put on a shelf and merely look at >Tell yourself you're better than others cause at least they aint Funko Pops My](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/609/873/0a8.jpg "Every 'Objects in My Room' Compass Be Like (6x6) | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes")
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Political Compass - This goes out to the folk on reddit who "America bad" so hard that they Simp for China and Russia si...
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Uploaded Jun 22, 2023 at 10:23AM EDT
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