Sitting on this couch may result in spontaneous bees, the worst acting in the world, the BEST acting in the world, bird-hair, more bees, am uncontrolable desire to steal the Declaration of Independance, switching faces with Jon Travolta, a fuckton of bees, hallucinations that your skull is on fire and you sold your soul to the Devil, and drowsiness.

Also, WHERE THE FUCK CAN I GET THAT COUCH?