Fukouna Shoujo 03
7 years ago
![File 1169870637 ipg-(3 KB, 150x150) 01/26/07(Fri)23:03:57 No.19683 185 [Reply] Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one imme diately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand toumament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. >>「01/26/07(Fri)23:05:29 No.19683269 I LOVE YOU >>「01/26/07(Fri)23:06:52 No. 19683341](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/480/596/467.jpg "467.jpg")
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![目File: 1357728781 (5 KB, 198x254, connery jpg) GI 器 _ Anonymous (ID: ⑩70Nzki) 01/09/13(Wed)05:53 01 UTC-5 No 449711286 Reply] Replies: 2244971 1463 >:449711642 >Go on a date with girl >Take her to nice restaurant >She orders a shrimp cocktail and several drinks >Ask for the check >The waiter places the check in front of me, not in front of her, not in the middle of the table >Look of horror comes across the girl's face reach for the check and place my credit card inside >She begins to tremble >Tears well up in her eyes >l can tell she is paralyzed by fear at the oppression she is experiencing >l chauvinistically place the check with the my credit card on the table in front of me, daring her to do something about it The power of my oppression of this woman surges through my body as I lean back in my seat and stare directly at her >She is shaking with fright, the oppression strangling her voice away >The waiter returns to take the check away >All is lost to her now >Men at other tables begin to stand up and clap >Women all over the restaurant begin to shriek and cry >l feel my erect penis lift the tablecloth in front of me >l ask my date, "Did you enjoy your dinner?" >Y-yes... thank you", she says behind a mask of tears I lean forward, a devious, patriarchical smile spreading across my face >And I tell her, "It was my privilege."](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/475/860/9d3.jpg "9d3.jpg")
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