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Uploaded by candlewizard Nov 29, 2013 at 09:20PM EST
Origin Entry: 4chan
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![⠀ Anonymous (ID: VMADXFCK) [+] >>461130422 (OP) # 03/08/24(Fri)17:10:27 No.461130566 will his casket lowering into the ground take f------ 5 episodes? >>461130762 # >>461132185 # >>461134825 # >>461136814 # >>461142984 # >>461148773 # >>461149781 # >>461149843 # >>461150715 # >>461152091 #](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/774/314/7a1.jpeg "Anon attends Akira Toriyama's funeral")
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![File: 1353982915835.png-(123 KB, 400x334, up.png) Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:21 No.43322849 [Reply] How are they supposed to take a s---? 27 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click here to view Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:46 No.43323778 Replies: 43323819 2243323894 2243323900 2243323922 One day after a gigantic meal Dog had to take a s---. While Cat was reading his monthly issue of Fish Monthly Dog suddenly looked down at Cat and said "Gee willickers Cat do I sure have to take a s---." So Dog ran in to the bathroom with Cat behind him and squated Cat's face over the toilet. With a mighty grunt a big stinky cloud of fart-smog left Cat's mouth, covering the room and causing wallpaper to peel from the wall. As Dog prepared to s--- Cat felt a big lump in his throat, much like phlegm but larger and impossible to ignore. He felt Dog's huge turd slip down his throat and in to his mouth, scraping against the back of his teeth. He had to endure this for roughly forty six minutes before the log finally left their unified bodies, coiling in the toilet below like a giant cup of softserve. The log of crap was so horribly disgusting that Winslow, who had just now walked in to the room, immediately caught scent of it and died due to his sensitive little rat nose. Dog then got off the toilet and said to Cat, "Gee cat that sure was a grumpy dumpy!" Cat couldn't respond because Cat too was dead, having suffocated at first but then losing all skin on his face from the sheer rank of the turd. Dog mourned Cat's death for a few minutes and invited the Greaser Dogs over, where they proceeded to sever Cat from his body and lay him on the floor of his house like a fine pelt carpet. Hi ho diggety Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:47 No.43323819 File: 1353984474075.gif-(637 KB, 273x154, up.gif) >43323778 Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:50 No.43323894 File: 1353984616484 KB, 274x265, princess peach rides m b....png) >43323778 Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:50 No.43323900 File: 1353984625029.ipg-(12 KB, 307x230, Xanatos3.jpg) >43323778 l should be disgusted. But yet I'm greatly amazed at the creativity of this little story Anonymous 11/26/12(Mon)21:51 No.43323922 File: 13539846 398467725 (57 KB, 331x319, 1333576779632.jpg) >>43323778 >Hi ho diggety 7,](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/648/605/6d2.png "6d2.png")
![Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:42 No.80240xxx My dad would punish me with psychological torture. Drove me nuts. Here's an example >Tell Dad to F--- Off because Im playing Super Nintendo >Dad, displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot >Wake up the next moming >Scares the crap out of me >Go to eat breakfast >Small beanie-baby frog cornes out of box cereal What the f--- >Backpack feels heavier than usual >Check middle pocket >Filled with, like, ten frogs Am t >Look out window to daydream as I often do >Beanie baby frog on outside windowsill >Sent out to hall >Pitch black because lights off and drapes pulled >Turn on light ENTIRE F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- >Heavy knocks on door >Turn around >Man in frog suit pressing his face against the door >Lock the door >A single frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper >Lift up frog >Take note son. >Scared, open door for frogman >Frogman, silently, slowly walks up to me know it's you. Dad," I say >He says in a voice nothing like my father's: T-- is not, Anon." >He takes mask off sit's my Uncle >My dad comes into the house laughing like an idiot p----- myself >Dad laughs and says, "We dont say F--- in this house, boy Now who's up for McDonalds? Seriously Dad where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:52 No.80241XXx 260240709 80240926 There was another time when, while l was sleeping, he drove me about five miles away to where a Russian-American family he knew lived The Russian man and woman treated me like I had lived there my whole life. I was there for twelve hours before my father came to pick me up. Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)22:00 No.80241xXxx here >Dad catches me looking at forbidden websites (read: p--- [This was when I was younger]) >l know he's going to pull something crazy because I had wisened up a bit >He just grounds me from the computer for four days Four days later, turn on >Every single image (desktop, everything's icon, the mouse cursor) was replaced by a weird-looking triceritops picture he made himself >Computer is rigged so that dinosaur roars come out of it 24/7 >He superglued a toy Triceratops to the top of my monitor It was like this for two weeks before he took it off e still has and uses that computer monitor, triceritops and all Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)22.14 No 80242xXX >Come home from school -Decide to eat ice-cream >He comes home when I'm in the middle of my third bowl >He is dissapoint when I can't eat my dinner -The next day come home >He is standing there in the kitchen with a sterm look on his eye with the Russian man from earlier story Dad tells me to sit down >He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a container of Moose Tracks ice-cream, my favoritest ice-cream ever >He pulls out two spoons -H e gives me half a s >After giving me a taunting taste he and Mr. Russia proceed to eat the entire bucket of ice-cream in front of me, savoring every bite and making "MIMMMMMM and "OOUUAAAHHH SOO GOOODDDD" sounds >If I try to get up out of my chair my dad would tell me to sit back down -lf I tried to close my eyes or look away my dad would stick his fingers in my sides, which I f------ hated >They force me to watch him and Mr. Russia eat an entire bucket of my favorite ice-cream >After finishing the dessert, he gives Mr. Russia a friendly beer and sends him on his way, and then asks what I want for dinner Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)22 24 No.80243XXX >Make That's What She Said!" joke to my dad >He is disgusted by that form of humor >Two days pass -Find my closet empty but for one shirt A Turtieneck sweater >He got one of his tech buddies to rig a small microphone up to i sit records my voice and after one second of me talking, it emits a "That's What She Said!" >Have to wear it for a day to school I couldnt tell whether to be angry at or impressed by my dad. Eg Frogdad 12/02/10(Thu)2240 № 80244XXX >Get in trouble at school for putting gum undemeath a desk just know my dad is going to pull some crazy s--- >Two weeks pass from the incident >Wake up one moming of putty stuck on the c pg single wad -it >Every night another wad of putty is stuck on the ceiling >This continues for one week >Dawn of the Eigth Day: There is a full circle of about fifteen wads on the ceiling >What the f--- -Dawn of the Ninth Day: Smaller putties spell out "UNDER BED" >Oh god I know it's you dad, Im not scared, I'm not scared >Look under bed >A tiny little man made out of putty >Dawn of the Tenth Day: Smaller putties spell out "IN DRAWER" >Another tiny little man made out of putty >Dawn of the Eleventh Day. Putties form an arrow pointing to the window >Since it was a school day it was about 5:30 in the morming and very dark t see s--- c cant -Flashlight comes on REVEALING A GIANT MAN MADE OF PUTTY OH GOD FREAKY AS F--- MASK OH GOD >Dad runs in, What, What?17 >MAN MADE OF PUTTY, DAD...wait, Dad? That isnt you? >Dad tells me to stay the f--- inside >He runs outside He and the Putty Man beat the s--- out of eachother >Fight travels to neighbor's yard behind hedge >Dad gestures for me to come out of the house walk over to dead putty man >Dad prepares to take off mask NOBODY UNDER MASK >Russian Man steps out of nearby bushes holding a portable radio playing the Twilight Zone theme >Dad tells me not to chew gum in school >We walk back home and they tell me about how hard they worked on this one I think that this one wins. Cant believe I forgot it](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/645/474/4bd.jpg "4bd.jpg")
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Uploaded Nov 29, 2013 at 09:20PM EST
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candlewizard
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