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Origin Entry: Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

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00 QST Charlie, how many Wonka Bars did you open? What do you mean you only opened two? Two Because my family is so f------ poor that we could only afford two s----- bars. For f---'s sake, we eat cabbage soup every f------ day, and are lucky to get a goddamn loaf of bread. Also, how the f--- are you a teacher that doesn't know what percentage 2 of of 1000 is? I honestly don't know what I f------ expected from the person who thinks nitroglycerin can be used as a wart remover. Oh and by the f------ way, 2 out 1000 is 0.2%. There you f------ go, now please leave me wallowing in my despair.

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A Real Wonka Bar

Snozzberry

The Filthiest Joke Ever Hidden in a ChildrenS MOvie By Anthony Scibelli June 18, 2012 814,299 views Add to Favorites Send One of the most beloved and oft-quoted moments in the ridiculously beloved and oft-quoted film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is the sequence in which the unbalanced candymaker displays his newest invention: lickable wallpaper. As the children and their guardians go to town on the wallpaper, Wonka declares: "Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. The strawberries taste like strawberries! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!" Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory 0:00/0:36 We laugh, because "snozzberries" is obviously a fanciful, fictional word, and nobody knows what they really were. Except that Roald Dahl, the book's author, knew exactly what snozzberries were They're d----. Snozzberries are d----. Willy Wonka made those kids lick d----flavored wallpaper It turns out the guy who thought a story about an insane recluse casually murdering a group of children had a pretty f----- up sense of humor In 1979, Dahl decided to revisit snozzberries in his adult novel My Uncle Oswald. The equally witty and disgusting story revolves around Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, the titular uncle and "greatest fornicator of all time." Along with his sexy accomplice Yasmin Howcomely, he devises a complicated get-rich-quick scheme that involves Howcomely seducing Europe's most famous men and then selling used condoms full of their spent semen to women wishing to birth famous progeny. Please take some time to remind yourself that this book was written by one of the world's most beloved children's authors The term "snozzberry" comes up when Yasmin Howcomely recounts her experience with George Bernard Shaw How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him? There's only one way when they get violent" Yasmin said. "I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold stil!. Ow "Very effective." I bet it is. "You can lead them around anywhere you want like that I'm sure. "It's like putting a twitch on a horse." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, 15 years before My Uncle Oswald revealed that the wallpaper was made to taste like the head of a penis. In the strictest sense of the term, we're pretty sure this makes Willy Wonka a p--------. And honestly, we're not that surprised.

Who brings chocolate to a chocolate factory anyway?

Would you like Some chocolate? - Sure Then you Should've brought some. rubee you f----- fat c---

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Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory - stop, don't, come back

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