Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:15 No.30297860 Replies: 2230297876230297970 my FAVORITE? hoo, that's a toughie That'd be three INTERTWINED STORIES; Minmaximus, ANGRIEST ELF WHO EVER LIVED, Lykorgos, the schizophrenic gnome who KILLED NARNIA, and the GLORIOUS BALLAD of BEAR-TRON, constructed s Babypun These anecdotes are from my D&D 4e career, and all stem from a grudge against a DM who pulled foul play. when I missed a session on thanksgiving weekend, visiting family, he spent said session re-writing my then-characters backstory into something he could more easily mock (it involved making it so now I was notoriously a f----- of undead otters, everyone in the kingdom knowing that I f--- undead otters). Too tired from my flight when I returned to roll with this ready annoyed with my what verged on THAT DM too often, I swore REVENGE upon h three glorious rac you folk Gary 5 No.30297970 Replies: 3029810330298854 Alright, so, having my previous character finish with the Drow Matron that was "interrogating" him, I called up the Grim Reaper to go ahead and take me to my new life away from the mortal plane with my bitchin death-wife, I proceeded to introduce my newest character. Now see, Occasionally Ill build heavily MinMaxxed builds to see what a system is capable of, and then simply not play anything too gamebreaking Already intrigued by how DIFFICULT it was to flagrantly MinMax in 4e, I broke this rule for the sake of my vengeance and built MinMaximus, and Elf Avenger with an Executioners Ace, who's chosen prey as an Avenger was "everyone" and vibrated with fury when near anything with a working heart. MinMaximus followed the party around for a lengthy no-combat portion of the game, rarely speaking (though befriending the Wizard) until his time came. The first combat since his introduction, and it was a Boss Fight against the evil ruler of the dark realm we had found ourselves in, and who demanded we kneel before his awesome and terrible might. MinMaximus charges. MinMaximus, the Level 4 Elf Avenger, deals 248 damage in his first round of combat. I paint the throne room red and END the life of a villain who probably had a lot more monologuing to do. Shortly thereafter we took over said dark realm and our Wiz d Knowledge (Economic e it with an Iron F ing his bloodthirsty elven companion as a Tax Collector The DM then began a NEW campaign, seeing as how we had thoroughly ended that one... [cont] Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:38 No.30298103 Replies: 30298145 The new game, having a plot of "something something Drow", I felt it my duty to continue my reven a cheesed boss fight felt entirely too shallow. And so was created Lykor gnomish Cleric/Barbarian, who l eci o that every 3 actions, spe world we ons arby evil wizard's tower to something e beloved by all, even the Fighter whom the gnome believed to be a tremendous swan (I kept f------ rolling 4 for some reason). The DM made each floor of the Tower we neac floor twelve, which cont d the fact that t merely a stone room with a large, STURDY wooden wardrobe ppening and what must be done. "WAIT!" c narv, in its own way second Chronocles of Narnia movie had JUS ome out the week before, I knew what wa Knowing the DM to be fond of movie/TV shout-outs the gnome. "DONT PEER INSIDE YON BOX! ifn you s magical realm inside it NOT be a magical realm at al! for believingi on on o the Wardrobe of Wonderment!" the DM looks at me with scrutin Narnia we were me recr metal bedframe to the wardrome, with the wardrobe's doors er ins t out. Whe ppled out of t liff the tower sat near, into the Gary lies obe reached the bottom of the oce NEAR where that door connects will be utte oblit eyond floode ed, over our ggling, how much EXP erground crypt full of Drow or something idity check. At the same moment that the party c er, in rayed the lized the party were the TRULY evil one o be... a Cleric... of that very same o mrades actions grac conscious party Monk next to me, allying myself with the Drow I had been fighting. We butch t of the party and join row in And what happen Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:53 No When next we arrived for our weekly session, we found the DM a rive that ni ppened again. And e player of this event. And so we were forced, DMle s this DM within my red them in a gra for 4e. And r the banner of Borris Babypuncher, Pixie Ran with Grizzly Bear animal companions. A total of 6 Grizzly Bears wer ing, backed by 6 Pixies with longbows. And so on the fourth week. The sion be with horror amusemen t, for before him wer Rangers with Grizzly Bears. And so we fought, trivia s in a tempestuous storm of Bear. Until it came time. Time for my gra ir of Ogres, working for the Drow (the DMr Animal wa imbing o highest Charisma of we pretended to serve as the voice of almighty Bear-Tron, and convinced the Ogres that w-l am BEAR...GAR, HAIRIEST OF ALL OGRES, and that I COMMAND THEIR RESPECT Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:58 No.30298293 Replies: 3029830430298500 inue his conversation, and the Ogres revealed themselves to be both polyamorous and homosexual, and attempted to seduce o hairy Beargar. One Ogre "accidentally" undid one of Beargar's clothing fastenings, and so the ropes did unravel. Our deception unveiled, the Ogres realized that Beargar was nothing more than 6 bears, and became furious. Thinking quickly, I enacted my newest plan. Each pixie in turn used Pixie Dust to grant our bear the glorious capacity for Flight. The six of us gathered in two beside. Thus was created a Fuursfield served as well, and we dispatched these Ogres. With this singular act - with the creation of an amorphous bear-mecha piloted by six pixies, did the DM slowly close his notes, and buy several beers. And thus is the tale of my grudge against That DM. Amen nd out six bears formed a protective sphere around us; one below, one above, one ahead, one behind, and modular configuration of grizzly bears, whose core was six longbow-wielding pixies. Reconfiguring itself into new shapes as needed throughout combat, our protecting

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Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:15 No.30297860 Replies: 2230297876230297970 my FAVORITE? hoo, that's a toughie That'd be three INTERTWINED STORIES; Minmaximus, ANGRIEST ELF WHO EVER LIVED, Lykorgos, the schizophrenic gnome who KILLED NARNIA, and the GLORIOUS BALLAD of BEAR-TRON, constructed s Babypun These anecdotes are from my D&D 4e career, and all stem from a grudge against a DM who pulled foul play. when I missed a session on thanksgiving weekend, visiting family, he spent said session re-writing my then-characters backstory into something he could more easily mock (it involved making it so now I was notoriously a f----- of undead otters, everyone in the kingdom knowing that I f--- undead otters). Too tired from my flight when I returned to roll with this ready annoyed with my what verged on THAT DM too often, I swore REVENGE upon h three glorious rac you folk Gary 5 No.30297970 Replies: 3029810330298854 Alright, so, having my previous character finish with the Drow Matron that was "interrogating" him, I called up the Grim Reaper to go ahead and take me to my new life away from the mortal plane with my bitchin death-wife, I proceeded to introduce my newest character. Now see, Occasionally Ill build heavily MinMaxxed builds to see what a system is capable of, and then simply not play anything too gamebreaking Already intrigued by how DIFFICULT it was to flagrantly MinMax in 4e, I broke this rule for the sake of my vengeance and built MinMaximus, and Elf Avenger with an Executioners Ace, who's chosen prey as an Avenger was "everyone" and vibrated with fury when near anything with a working heart. MinMaximus followed the party around for a lengthy no-combat portion of the game, rarely speaking (though befriending the Wizard) until his time came. The first combat since his introduction, and it was a Boss Fight against the evil ruler of the dark realm we had found ourselves in, and who demanded we kneel before his awesome and terrible might. MinMaximus charges. MinMaximus, the Level 4 Elf Avenger, deals 248 damage in his first round of combat. I paint the throne room red and END the life of a villain who probably had a lot more monologuing to do. Shortly thereafter we took over said dark realm and our Wiz d Knowledge (Economic e it with an Iron F ing his bloodthirsty elven companion as a Tax Collector The DM then began a NEW campaign, seeing as how we had thoroughly ended that one... [cont] Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:38 No.30298103 Replies: 30298145 The new game, having a plot of "something something Drow", I felt it my duty to continue my reven a cheesed boss fight felt entirely too shallow. And so was created Lykor gnomish Cleric/Barbarian, who l eci o that every 3 actions, spe world we ons arby evil wizard's tower to something e beloved by all, even the Fighter whom the gnome believed to be a tremendous swan (I kept f------ rolling 4 for some reason). The DM made each floor of the Tower we neac floor twelve, which cont d the fact that t merely a stone room with a large, STURDY wooden wardrobe ppening and what must be done. "WAIT!" c narv, in its own way second Chronocles of Narnia movie had JUS ome out the week before, I knew what wa Knowing the DM to be fond of movie/TV shout-outs the gnome. "DONT PEER INSIDE YON BOX! ifn you s magical realm inside it NOT be a magical realm at al! for believingi on on o the Wardrobe of Wonderment!" the DM looks at me with scrutin Narnia we were me recr metal bedframe to the wardrome, with the wardrobe's doors er ins t out. Whe ppled out of t liff the tower sat near, into the Gary lies obe reached the bottom of the oce NEAR where that door connects will be utte oblit eyond floode ed, over our ggling, how much EXP erground crypt full of Drow or something idity check. At the same moment that the party c er, in rayed the lized the party were the TRULY evil one o be... a Cleric... of that very same o mrades actions grac conscious party Monk next to me, allying myself with the Drow I had been fighting. We butch t of the party and join row in And what happen Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:53 No When next we arrived for our weekly session, we found the DM a rive that ni ppened again. And e player of this event. And so we were forced, DMle s this DM within my red them in a gra for 4e. And r the banner of Borris Babypuncher, Pixie Ran with Grizzly Bear animal companions. A total of 6 Grizzly Bears wer ing, backed by 6 Pixies with longbows. And so on the fourth week. The sion be with horror amusemen t, for before him wer Rangers with Grizzly Bears. And so we fought, trivia s in a tempestuous storm of Bear. Until it came time. Time for my gra ir of Ogres, working for the Drow (the DMr Animal wa imbing o highest Charisma of we pretended to serve as the voice of almighty Bear-Tron, and convinced the Ogres that w-l am BEAR...GAR, HAIRIEST OF ALL OGRES, and that I COMMAND THEIR RESPECT Gary Oak's Merry Men 02/17/14(Mon)04:58 No.30298293 Replies: 3029830430298500 inue his conversation, and the Ogres revealed themselves to be both polyamorous and homosexual, and attempted to seduce o hairy Beargar. One Ogre "accidentally" undid one of Beargar's clothing fastenings, and so the ropes did unravel. Our deception unveiled, the Ogres realized that Beargar was nothing more than 6 bears, and became furious. Thinking quickly, I enacted my newest plan. Each pixie in turn used Pixie Dust to grant our bear the glorious capacity for Flight. The six of us gathered in two beside. Thus was created a Fuursfield served as well, and we dispatched these Ogres. With this singular act - with the creation of an amorphous bear-mecha piloted by six pixies, did the DM slowly close his notes, and buy several beers. And thus is the tale of my grudge against That DM. Amen nd out six bears formed a protective sphere around us; one below, one above, one ahead, one behind, and modular configuration of grizzly bears, whose core was six longbow-wielding pixies. Reconfiguring itself into new shapes as needed throughout combat, our protecting

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