oh fuck

I will grant you any wish, so long as it doesn't violate any of the following conditions.

1. It doesn’t kill/unmake/terminate someone.
2. You can’t wish that you or I didn’t exist.
3. If I can’t foot the energy bill for the contract, it defaults onto you before the full effects of the contract are put into place. This can completely destroy you if your wish is too big.
4. You can’t change these rules.

Once the wish is completed, you will become a magical human, capable of wielding sorcery related to your wish. Your wish will be granted if it passed all of the above conditions. You will be mostly immortal so long as the receptacle that contains your soul is intact. You can still die of bodily harm. Using magic pollutes one’s soul, and it must be purified with energy from slain magical creatures, which only you and other magical humans can see and fight against. You may choose not to use magic at all.

Now, would you like to make a contract?