>be me
>cashier at Walgreens
>shitty job but it pays the bills while I wait to go back to school in spring
>slow night, not many customers
>suddenly see the fattest of fat fat fucks approaching register
>cart full of Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets
>has so much fat that he has to lean on the cart to assist him with walking
>so fat that he won't take anything out of the cart, makes me scan everything while it's still in cart
>a guy walks in only wanting a 20oz Pepsi, has to wait behind Fatty McGee
>total comes to 78 dollars
>shoves sweaty $100 bill in my face like an asshole
>mark it to make sure it's legit, go to put it in the register
>"wait let me give you the (whatever) cents"
>starts searching in pockets for approximately a decade looking for change
>by this point there are four people waiting behind Fatfuck McFatterson
>all visibly upset that they have to wait for him, I call for second cashier
>everyone immediately goes to his line to stop dealing with all the fat
>this guy is seriously now running out of breath searching for change, starts wheezing
>finally makes the change so I can give him all bills back
>second cashier's line empties
>guy spends a couple minutes sorting hot pockets, wallet, fat
>"I can't wait to get home and go to bed, it's been a long day"
>making small talk I say, "Long day at work?"
>"oh no, I don't have a job, I borrowed that money from my mom"
>"So what do you do?"
>"I moderate the video games board on 4chan"

he's a janitor
on the internet
on an anime imageboard
he does it for free
he takes his "job" very seriously
he does it because it is the only amount of power and control he will ever have in his pathetic life
he deletes threads he doesn't like because whenever he gets upset he has an asthma attack
he deletes threads he doesn't like because they interfere with the large backlog of little girl chinese cartoons he still has to watch
he will never have a real job
he will never move out of his parent's house
he will never be at a healthy weight
he will never know how to cook anything besides a hot pocket
he will never have a girlfriend
he will never have any friends