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Live Dog Corpse

AMAZING ROBOTIC DOG CORPSE ACTS JUST LIKE A REAL LIVE DOG CORPSE! Amaz ing breakthroughs in the fields of science and amaz ing breakthroughs have created the perfeot robotic replica of an actual dog corpset Fool friends, faily, and enemies with the most ife- like replica dog corpset Hundreds of t t tiny motors and computer chips perfectly mimic the aotions of an actual iving dog corpset Rece ive the benef its of own ing a dog corpse without any of the hassles and drawbackst Call now? 三生 $199 per corpse1-800-4-CHOMPS

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Pheromones

women cant resist a gay all smothered up with PHEROMONES ※ Attract grain silos full of hot broads with our patented Nature's Natural Pheromone Lather and Topical Ointment! Rub this crap all over your face and we swear to god they'll be all over you like a Christmas ham in Africa. Our scientists have spent a good amount of time, maybe a week or so, perfecting Nature's Natural Pheromone Lather and Topical Ointment so you get the maximum amount of sex permitted by the federal govemment! Imagine the look on those hot supermodels' faces as they fall head over heels in love with you, unable to resist the charm oozing from every bloated gaping pore in your face! Every bottle of Nature's Natural Pheromone Lather and Topical Ointment comes with a coupon for 75% off the purchase of a small caliber handgun, just in case the pheromones don't work. Learn to pistolwhip your way into bed with the woman of your dreams! The hottest babes FREE GUN! CALL TODAY: 1-900-FACE-RUBare wating for you

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Banana Assault

think this is just some ordinary snack? HELL NO, You F------ IDIOT! 원시 this is. BANANA ASSAULT banana chips with a bad attitudel finally a junk food product that focus groups have decided is hardcore enough to be marketed to an 18-25 year old demographic! eat this snack, or GO TO HELLII http://maddox.xmission.com 92003 By Maddox

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NAGISA FUCKING FURUKAWA

WHOA, WHOA WHOA BACK TO F--- UP THAT IS NAGISA F------ FURUKAWA NOT ONLY IS THIS BITCH AS CUTE AS A M------------ BUTTON SHE STOLE A GUY FROM FOUR OTHER BITCHES WHILE MAKING THEM POOR M------------ HELP HER PUT ON A PLAY I S--- YOU NOT M----------- DOES ALL OF THIS S--- WHILE BEING WEAKER THAN ANY OF THOSE POOR ASS HOES IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH THIS F----- CONTROLS TWO OF THE BIGGEST DELIQUENTS IN THE SCHOOL INSTEAD OF BEATING AROUND THE M------------ BUSH THIS M----------- ASKED STRAIGHT OUT FOR HER HUBBY TO HIT HER UP AND AFTERWARDS GIVES NO F---- WHEN TELLING HER PARENTS ABOUT IT HOLD THE F--- UP I'M NOT DONE THIS HOE IS GOING TO DIE WHEN THIS BABY COMES OUT OF HER, BUT DOES SHE GIVE F---? NOPE. THIS BITCH DIES DURINC CHILD BIRTH, BUT DOES DYING KEEP THIS M----------- DOWN? I THINK NOT, THIS BITCH COMES BACK TO LIFE LIKE M------------ JESUS, HALLELJUAH

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PUCKER MY ANUS AND CALL ME EXCITED IT'S F------ HYDROGEN! 1.00794 YOU'RE PROBABLY ALL "HYDROGEN IS COMMON AS, BRO. I CAN'T GO TWO STEPS WITHOUT RUNNING INTO F------ HYDROGEN. BITCH IS LIKE 92% OF ALL ATOMS IN TH UNIVERSE." BUT YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE THE GIGANTIC SET OF HAIRY, PULSATING TESTICLES ON YOUR FOREHEAD IS BLOCKING THE VIEW OF THIS MAGNIFICENT BITCH: DO YOU KNOW WHAT POWERS THAT GIGANTIC, FIERY FUCKBANG RIGHT THERE? F------ HYDROGEN. THAT'S RIGHT BITCH, THERMONUCLEAR FUSION ALL UP IN THIS ORANGE M-----------. LET'S SEE YOU DO THAT WITH THOSE WANKY NOBLE GASSES. NOT ENOUGH? WELL F--- YOU. HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT HYDROGEN IS THE BITCHMEAT INA HYDROGEN BOND SANDWICH? F------ PLUGGED IN EVERY HOLE BY ELECTRONEGATIVE ELEMENTS TO KEEP YOUR DNA FROM FALLING APART LIKE A LEPER AT A F------ THEME PARK. WHAT A HARDCORE LITTLE TROOPER THAT HYDROGEN PRICK IS F---, IF YOU AREN'T IN THE THROES OF RAGING AROUSAL BY NOW HOW ABOUT GETTING SOME QUANTUM MECHANICS UP YOU? JUST SAY "QUANTUM MECHANICS" AND PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU'RE ALL SMART AND GET TURNED ON AND S---. THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU'RE G----------- AND IT'S ALL DOWN TO HYDROGEN, BECAUSE THE LITTLE F----- HAS A SIMPLE-AS-A-PALIN ATOMIC STRUCTURE, WHICH MEANS THE CRAZY S--- UN-HEADFUCKS THEORETICAL EQUATIONS FOR SEXY-ASS PHYSICISTS. BUT HYDROGEN ISN'T A F------ TOY WHEN HYDROGEN LOSES AN ELECTRON IT GETS F------ P-----, AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT. GET ENOUGH OF THESE LITTLE F------ MAD AND YOU GOT A RIOT ALL UP IN YOUR S---. D0 YOU KNOW WHAT A HYDROGEN RIOT IS CALLED? A F------ SUPERACID. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. SUPERACID. S---, FLUOROSULFURIC ACID MAKES THE F------ FRENCH REVOLUTION LOOK LIKE A PAIR OF OLD HAGS FIGHTING OVER A POKER MACHINE HYDROGEN: TINY, BUT BOSS AS F---

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RUN, F----- BECAUSE THIS IS A F------ VENUSAUR "but blastoise is my dad SEE THAT PINK-ASS FLOWERTREE rofl xD" SHUT THE F--- UP YOU F------ BABY WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK TO /B/ YOU IT PUTS YOUR SHITSTAINED FATHERLESS CRYPUSSY F----- THIS TREEFUCKING DINOSAUR WILL PUT YOU TO SLEEP AND INJECT PARASITIC SEEDS INTO YOU THAT DRAIN YOUR LIFE FORCE AND SOMEHOW TO DO·UNLESS YOU CATCH IT S--- ON THIS N-----'S BACK? THAT S--- iS POISONOUS AND USELESS ASS TO SLEEP. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, SALLY? WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU GOING TO DO? GET R---- THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GOING MAKE IT STRONGER OH MY GOD. AND R--- OTHER PEOPLE FIRST

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Dem hips.

WAKFU IS F------ AWESOME YOU WANT ANANGSTY F----- ANIME PROTAGONIST? TOUGH S--- HERE'S YOUR F------ PROTAGONIST: WANNA KNOW WHAT'S IN HIS HAT? MY D--- IN YOUR SISTER'S ASS THAT'S WHATS IN HIS F------ HAT IHOPE YOU LIKE THAT INTERRACIAL S--- BECAUSE THERE'S TWELVE F------ RACES GUESS WHICH RACES HAVE WOMEN WITH SHORT SKIRTS AND BIG HIPS ALL OF THEM, M----------- AND THEY ALL SPEAK FRENCH WATCH WAKFU

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FUCKING MAGNETS!

THE BEGINNERS GUIDE TO THE MAGNEMITE STOCK EXCHANGE AKA MAGNETS! HOW DO THEY WORK? What is the point in trading a Magnemite for a Magnemite? When B/W2 was first released, Japanese children quickly learned of a way to boost the level of a place called Join Avenue Join Avenue will have players from around the world, in the form of NPCs, visit your mall and either build shops or level them up. To do this quickly, they figured out if you offer a pokemon through the GTS (located on the upper right corner of PokeCenters, you'll get visitors WHY MAG NEMITE? Magnemites are commonly found in Virbank City, the second gym's location. At first they dont appear very often, but once you find one with Magnet Pull, they appear very frequently. They also learn Sonic Boom at level 14 and Thunder Wave at 17, so the best pokemon to catch subsequent Mags is another Mag. We don't trade, say, Patrats for Patrats, because the GTS isn't all that great and Japan created a beautiful thing and we can beneft What's Join Avenue? It is a mall you can't miss. After the third gym leader and past route 4, yo'll promptly become manager to what starts off as an empty hallway. After a short game tutorial, your first shop opens up, which is predetermined by your Trainer ID. As you interact with people (or in our case, trade Magnemites) People will be walking the hall. You have two very important tasks. You can either have one person open a shop, (Invite) or have that person visit a shop, giving it experience. (Recommend) Each shop that opens is predetermined by the visitor's trainer ID. You have an 8 shop maximum, and 7 different shops to adod The 8th shop, the nursery, will be unlocked when you have beaten the Elite Four and have your Avenue rank up to 15 Visiting NPCs are particularly picky about what shops they want you to recommend them. You ll not get points if you recommend them to a store that they don't find suitable. You can learn more on the internet About being invited: You can decide what kind of store you can open in anybody's Avenue. In your office, Talk to Future, the blue hair fellow, and you can decide from a list of stores you'd like to open. If you beat the Elite Four and rank up the Avenue to 15, Nursery is added to this list. Also, you can change your avatar others will see on your ID Card. Your stores that open elsewhere will have a set list of merchandise and services that differ between Black and White versions, both 1 and 2. Google 'serebii join avenue' for all the details So where doeies once you fnde You can technically start trading magnemites once you find a magnemite, but it makes more sense to begin once you arrive at your Avenue Go to the GTS and insert a Magnemite. Ask for a Magnemite in return, wait for about 3 minutes (may be quicker as more people do this at once) and then click Summary to get your brand spanking new Magnemite. Or, While you wait for your Mag to get traded, you can search for Magnemites to trade for. You are going to be using the region selector however, since searching for ANY region is not very practical. The most happening locations is Japan and the United States, but a bunch of other countries such a Canadia, UK, Brazil, France and Germany will offer Magnemites. Count how many trades you make. Once you have about 12, quit seaching and talk to NPCs in your Avenue. Rinse and Repeat b 3 minMag to get raded you ctical The Unfortunately it has been traded to another trainer. The F---? This happens to everybody. Magnemites are the hottest commodity on the GTS, so they are hotly sought after by lots of people. What you want to do is learn how to refresh the page. Magnemites are genderless, but you can change the level parameters. Refresh by choosing Iv 1-10 or lv 11-20. Then you got to be quick. Sometimes you have to find the trader, select the Mag to trade and confirm in under 5 seconds. If you feel you have taken longer than 5 seconds, just refresh the page to save some heartache 0 0 Unfortunately, sometimes a trade happens with two people at the same time, forcing one of you to a blue screen, and you need to restart the game. This becomes more apparent when trafic effects GTS speed. And trust me, it f------ redditfags Hey, can I get a level 100 Zekrom for my Magnemite? URAFAGET What's a Mallow? Mallows are level 100 Magnemites named after a character of the same name from one of T's favorite SNES games, Super Mario RPG, and have good EVs, IVs, etc that T mass distributes over the GTS. T sends out 150 of each edition per day. Each one has different characteristics, and some people seem to like collecting them. You can tell which Mallow you have just by the pokeball it is contained in An 16/12(Tue)00:40 No.10260496 Replies: >1026050810260514 21026052310260535 >visit my niece earlier today "Anon! Can I show you my Pokemon >Mallow is at the front of her party >"Magnemite's the strongest pokemon ever! He's my favorite, even though he doesn't always listen." Well, now my niece likes Magnemite

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It does not shoot lasers however.

BACK THE F--- UP SON DO YOU F------ SEE WHAT THAT IS? Because that is a M------------ CHAINSAW YOR ASS RIGHT UP AND IT WILL CHOP YOUR ASS RIGHT UP KATANA LOOK AT THIS S--- LOOK AT IT A FUCKLOAD OF SPINNY-ASS BLADES WHAT'S THAT? TOO EXTREME FOR YOU YOU DUMB SLUT? WELL GET OVER IT OH WHAT THE S------- IS THIS SOME F------ ELABORATE MACHINERY UP IN THIS BITCH THIS S--- IS SU EXTREME I HAD TO PUT A F------ YOU SEEN THIS HILT? YOU WANT TO PUT COMGUZZLINGMOUH BOTTEEAY ANTW HOT THE FUCKEXPLOSIO N PLEASURE MYSELF LOoKING AT IT IN THE BACKGROUND OVER IT, DON'T YOU?

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IS THAT A F------ HONCHKROW? JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH I JUST S--- MYSELF IN FEAR, AND IF YOU WEREN'T AN UNEDUCATED, FILTH SCRUB THEN YOU WOULD BE S------- YOURSELF TOO. ANATOMY OFA HONCHKROW BREATHES FIRE A F------ HAT GLARING AT you WILL SLAP YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S ASS WILL CLAW YOUR FACE OFIF HOLY T--- 100 HP Atk Def DIRECT QUOTE! HOLY F--- 52 105 52 71 THIS F------ MONSTER USED TO BE A LITTLE BITCH CROW WITH A HAT, BUT THEN IT GOT EXPOSED TO F------ RADIATION FROM A STONE AS DARK AS DARK CAN BE THAT MADE IT MUTATE INTO A HUGE F------ SATAN-CROW WITH A HAT). SpD Spe I'M WILLING TO BET THAT YOU WON'T FIND YOUR STUPID F------ DIGIMON CALLED THE IN YOUR POKEDEX LIKE HONCHKROW IS. DID YOU KNOW: A GROUP OF CROWS IS CALLED A GODDAMN MURDER.HOLY F--- A HONCHKROW COULD SUMMON AN ARMY OF MURKROW BITCHES ONGERTA TO DO HIS OR HER BIDDING BY MAKING ONE F------ SOUND BECAUSE UNTHEY ARE SO GODDAMNED AFRAID OF IT OF THE F------ SUN SINCE THIS F------ BEAST WILL NEVER FORGIVE ITS OWN KIN FOR F------ ANYTHING UP FOR IT, DON'T COUNT ON SURVIVING THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE SUMMONER OF NIGHT ITS MURKROW SLAVES D0 ALL OF THE WORK FOR IT SO IT'S FULLY RESTED FOR WHEN A PUNK COMES ALONG THINKING THEY CAN BEAT IT FLYINGDAR HONCHKROW TAKES ZERO F------ DAMAGE FROM F------ WO OF THE BEST ATTACKS SINCE F------ RBY ONCHKROW HAS TWO F------ IMMUNITIES AND PSYCHIC AND EARTHQUAKE ONLY THE WEAKNESSES OF FLYING. What's that, dickmoose? YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW YOUR POKEMON ARE GOING TO DIE? FIRE TY TAB AND SUCKER PUNG DARK PULSE SUPERPOWERSPFB LY BRAVE BIRD ROOST HE¼ AS IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH T REST ITSFUCKING SE ANU IN THE MIDST OF BA N LO (YES THERE IS MOE TURDBURGLER HONCHKROW'S ABILITIES ENI EPE YEa. 1. INSOMNIA IT DOESN'T SLEEP EVER. AND IT DOESN'T F------ NEED IT. IT NEVER HAS SLEPT IN ITS WHOLE F------ LIFE. IT USES THAT MUCH MORE TIME TO PLAN OUR DEMISE 2. SUPER LUCK. 3. F------ MOXIE.FDE HETHING ITS ATTACKS WILL DO DOUBLE DAMAGE MORE OFTEN DOUBLE F------ DAMAGE IT KILLS ITS ATTACKS WILL ONLY DO MORE DAMAGE. HOLY F------ CHRIST THE MORE BLO0D IT CASUALLY F------ SAMPLES, THE MORE IT WANTS ISCARED g0 KISS YOUR A--- VIRGINITY GOODBYE AND PREPARE TO BE DEVOURED BY MILLIONS OF F------ CROWS

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M------------ DOCTOR STRANGE Not sure how many of you guys read classic Marvel comics, but if you don't, you're probably asking yourself "what's up with this Vincent Price - looking a------ in the flamboyant cape? In which case, shut the f--- up and sit your punk ass down because it's time for you to respect the Sorceror F------ Suprem To this guy, time and space are just a f------ party game. He can ZA WARUDO you and i dimension on your ass, or just keep time stopped permanently and laugh at you for being a goddamn statue. He can also revers time, speed it up, travel backwards or forwards, hell, one time some aliens tried to invade our universe, and he was just like nstead of a steamroller, drop a f------ LOL NO" and froze their entire universe in time permanently Which brings me to another thing: moving between dimension nd universes ain't s--- to him. You can't f------ hide from th guy. Now that's great and all, but can he bring the firepower? You bet your ass he can. Busting planets and stars is easy for him, and don't think galaxies and even universes are safe either, Decause he can call on the powers of the Vishanti to f--- that s--- up. So what about his mind? Can you go all Professor X on him and shut him down? No you f------ can't. Moondragon, one f the most powerful psychics in Marvel with the Mind Gem, which gives her the of all the minds in the universe got punked by Steve here in a mental battle. Now you re probably thinking "that's great and all, but I'm fast as hell, I'll just kick his ass befo re he can do any of that s---". HAHAHAHAHAHA, this guy has automatic shieds that will stop you dead in your tracks at the f------ speed of light and even if you get arou nd that, he ca So can I sneak poison into his food or something? Go ahead and try, your poison will end up in another dimension. Okay, so you can't kill him, but you can send him away to the farthest reaches of the multiverse, never to bother you again, right? Oops, look, he's back. Wand of Watoomb, bitch. Now let's say you somehow manage to disable his magic. No magic, no threat, right? That's what you'll be thinking until he cracks your skull open with his bare hands. That's right, he's the master of both mystic and martia l arts. H moves at about a bazillion times the speed of light. So then you go "f--- this, I cont trol reality and s---, I'll just erase him from existence" Oh no you don't. He can call upon and merge with Eternity himself, the abstract embodiment of All There Is, and then you'll be the one getting erased. Hell, he used this little trick to defeat Death itself. And if you do somehow have more power than him, guess what? He'll f------ steal that s--- and leave you powerless. He's even done it to a guy whose power was literally "I'm always stronger than you are." If you still think you can beat him, let me remind you that he has over 7000 years of experience, invented n fight as a spirit without his body, and then just remake his body later. e fought Mantis to a standstill, the same chick who tagged The Runner, who n forms of magic, routinely beats down gods and cosmic beings, and keeps an entire universe in a f------ closet in his house (which is also in another dimens on, BTW). Merlin, eat your f------ heart out.

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JUST LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BITCH THIS IS GERMANY M------------ AND HE DOESN'T GIVE A F--- ABOUT YOUR FANCY FONTS LOOK AT THOSE GLASSES THIS BITCH READS F------ GOETHE LIKE IT AIN'T NO THING. HE'S A GODDAMNED TACTICAL GENIUS AND HIS U-BOAT IS COMING RIGHT UP YOUR ASS WHAT THE FUCIK ARE YOU GONNA DO. YOU'D BEST APPEASE HIM HE'S GONNA ANNEX YOUR F------ FACE. He's also f------ your brother every goddamn night no matter what the f--- you do. Don't try your stupid moustache trick this bitch is a genius and he's gonna make you feel like the worthless s--- you are HE USED TO BE 300 STATES JESUS CHRIST YOU CAN'T EVEN COUNT THAT HIGH. YOUR TORTURE AIN'T S--- TO HIM THIS BITCH LIVES WITH M------------ PRUSSIA. HE HAS SEX WITH ITALY TWELVE TIMES A DAY AND HIS ASS IS LIKE AN ARMORED F------ TANK OH MY GOD.

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Do you see this? Do you know what this is? This is a Zubat. It's mission in nature is to f--- s--- up where ever it goes. It does not pollinate things. It does not make honey It is not a Beedrill. It is a m------------ Zubat. You cannot battle the Iubat. The ubat is never alone. It is always accompanied by other, even more violent and aggressive Zubat; all of which are, in turn, accompanied by even more. When you see a Zubat, do you know what you do? You stand the f--- still. You chill the f--- out and hope the Zubat doesn't put you on its list of s--- it wants to f--- up today. You stand right the f--- there and wait for the zubat to finish its business and move on with its rampage, and then you go the f--- home.

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AGE OF MYTHOLOGY IS F------ AWESOME YOU WANT A DWARF? THERE'S YOUR F------ DWARF. YOU WANT SOME BETTER GRAPHICS? F--- YOU DWARVES CAN DO LOTS OF STUFF LIKE SKEEPANNING. CAN YOU SKEEPAN? F--- NO PLAY AGE OF MYTHOLOGY

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QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD? Arceus? WRONG IT'S M------------ MAGIKARP, STUPID ASS it's so weak and useless "it's just a stupid little fish" why is it so ugly and dumb GET THAT D--- OUT OF YOUR EAR AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT 71% OF THE PLANET'S SURFACE IS WATER 90% OF LIFE IN THE WATER IS MAGIKARP -100% OF MAGIKARP'S BODY IS PURE PAIN NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, YOU WILL NOT BE SAFE Let's give you some simple numbers so you can comprehend just how f----- you are, 20 base HP 10 base attack 8base speed. If it's raining, then its speed DOUBLES SWEET GANDHI'S T---, THAT'S TERRIFYING time to show you the deadly attacks Magikarp can use. Well, guess what? We're just getting warmed up. It's

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