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+45

4chan - Axis Leaders and their Wackiness Quotient - collab work by /his/, /pol/ and /tv/

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Name Adolf Hitler Hermann Göring Heinrich Himmler Joseph Goebbels Reinhard Heydrich Joachim von Ribbentrop Albert Speer Martin Bormann Rudolph Hess Karl Dönitz Portrait Role Fuhrer Commander of the Luftwaffe Commander of the SS Minister of Propaganda Director of the Gestapo Minister of Foreign Affairs Minister of Architecture Hitler's Chief of Staff Deputy Fuhrer Commander of the Navy Notable Incidents 1. WWI Ace fighter pilot who 1. Owned a secret wizard 1. Got the job because he'd because he didn't want them read a British book about spies noblemen ruled Britain 1. Said he wanted to retire 1. Murdered his six children 1. Believed a secret cabal of 1. Engaged in mass slave labor 1. Hated his brother so much 1. Stole a plane so he could 1. Specialized in submarine after the war and focus on his served with the Red Baron, castle of Jews because he wanted to that when he was told by negotiate an end to the war warfare; probably did the |2. King of England tried to major hero who joined the Nazis early on painting 2. Tried to restore the Knights to live in a non-Nazi world and knew some of the lingo build cool-looking buildings Hitler to deliver a letter to with Britain by speaking to an most damage to the Allies of 2. Terrified of cats of the Round Table (Göring and Himmler didn't; 2. Earned the names "God of shake his hand; he thought he 2. After release from prison, him, he found another random unimportant Scottish noble any single German officer 3. Built a crypt to house rings their kids were released by the Allies unharmed) 2. Created a military unit of 3. Had 15 young women taste 2. Developed morphine Death" and "Man with an was doing a Nazi salute; did wrote several books about guy and told him to do it he'd never met but had heard 2. Escaped execution for his his food for poison before addiction after being shot in of dead SS officers to bind Iron Heart" one in return but accidentally how he was "the good Nazi" 2. Once had to meet Hitler in about from a guy who'd met crimes because the British eating the leg; ballooned in weight them to eternal SS service 3. Died when he took an smacked the king in the face; 3. Convinced Nuremburg the presence of his brother; him one time years before; were also guilty of most of 4. Declared a random tribe and was nearly always high as 4. Tried to escape the children, amputees, and old open-roof car onto an tried to make it look like his judges to kill his subordinates they stood side-by-side so they did not consult Hitler before them and realized it would be for carrying out his plans while could face Hitler without sparing him because he of Native Americans he'd a result British by calling himself men; couldn't even get them unsecured road and assassins own fault doing this super awkward to prosecute never met to be honorary 3. Covered up his brother's "Heinrich Hitzinger" enough guns came for him; instead of just 3. Demanded all British having to look at each other 2. During his trial, claimed to him Aryans; refused to do so for crime of helping Jews escape 5. Instituted a breeding 3. Was 5'5"/165cm driving away, pulled a gun suffer from amnesia to avoid 3. Got appointed as President diplomats do the Nazi salute opposed the plans he himself 3. Slavishly loyal to Hitler 4. Hated by everyone; Italians because it would make him program between 4. Doctorate in Philosophy and ordered the car to stop so (overruled by Hitler) had ordered answering questions; finally admitted he was lying of Germany after Hitler's 5. Claimed to be literally look bad; this only made it Norweigian women and 5. Wife's stepfather was |he could personally shoot at 4. Tried to get the USSR to tolerated only because he death solely because he was possessed by a mystical easier for the brother to keep handsome Germans Jewish; she made no attempt them, thus giving them join the Axis without asking genuinely a fantastic 3. Hanged himself in prison the most important person left who was definitely not in 1987 at the age of 93 A---- spirit to Mussolini; Mussolini felt "completely |disoriented" and didn't know so he could focus on collecting he had a German ancestor helping Jews escape 6. Tried to save a Jew who to save him, he died in a camp another chance to kill him Hitler first officer worker 4. Delegated work to others "looked A----" if he'd say 6. Göring believed his wife |4. Hitler personally blamed 5. Tried to negotiate for the 5. Body found on the side of a involved in any attempts at assassinating Hitler 4. Only major action as was cheating on him with him for his own death, then return of German's African road, then disappeared; no if he was joking or not fancy art and designing new or parent; Jew refused Hitler; evidence for this is ordered attacks on the colonies without consulting one knows how he died, only assassins' villages, murdering Hitler; after Hitler told him to 1300 innocent people; 6. Convinced he was saved by uniforms that had nothing to 7. Believed he was the sketchy at best when and where president was to stall the do with his job stop, he continued to agitate for them without asking for destiny when Operation reincarnation of an ancient Russians as long as possible to let soldiers escape west and Valkyrie failed to kill him Churchill wanted to bomb 5. Only major Nazi who didn't German king and Hindu god mind jokes at his expense; 7. Got blackmailed by his 8. Employed a child molester German civilians in retaliation them back, confusing the surrender to Americans newphew William Hitler, who loved hearing fat jokes as his chief wizard advisor and had to be talked down British and French instead 9. Sent an expedition into Tibet to find a yeti later left Germany and joined 6. Owned multiple pet lions 6. Got an elderly woman to the US Navy 7. After the Luftwaffe was adopt him in his 30s so he 8. Had a favorite alligator at destroyed, spent the last year 10. Allowed a gay Jewish SS could add a "von" to his name; the zoo; alligator was taken of the war throwing crazy officer because he could help later complained when Göring and is still alive in Moscow drug parties because he had find the Holy Grail wouldn't use the von, so | 10. Watched Charlie Chaplin's nothing else to do 11. Was a professional chicken Göring tried to smack him anti-Nazi movie at least twice 8. "No Allied plane can reach farmer between wars with a baton but couldn't 11. Sent a guy to the Eastern the Ruhr. If one does, my 12. Joined a dueling club with reach because he was too fat Front for joking that swatting name is not Göring. You can a Jewish president flies is a job for the Luftwaffe call me Hermann Meyer." Wackiness Quotient 90% 90% 140% 70% 60% 80% 20% 50% 80% 0% Name Benito Mussolini Victor Emmanuel Hirohito Hideki Tojo Plaek Phibunsongkhram Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim Boris III Vidkun Quisling Anton Mussert Philippe Pétain Portrait Role Prime Minister of Italy King of Italy Emperor of Japan Prime Minister of Japan Prime Minister of Thailand President of Finland Puppet Leader of Netherlands Puppet Leader of Vichy France 1. Professional engineer King of Bulgaria Puppet Leader of Norway Notable Incidents 1. Parents disagreed about baptism; compromised by not 2. Given following advice by marine biology; built a 1. Agreed by everyone to be 1. Extreme Thai nationalist the most humorless man in 1. Felt Norway should join wwI, was vague about whose 2. Married his own mother's 1. 5'0"/153cm 1. Legitimate scientist in 1. Separated from his first 1. Father got himself 1. Retired before WWI, called |despite being half-Chinese wife in 1902, took until 1919 excommunicated from the out of retirement to fight sister (his aunt), against his mother's wishes baptizing him, but instead his father: "To be a king, all laboratory in the Imperial Japan, had no hobbies except 2. First name means "strange" to bother divorcing her Catholic Church side 2. Great friends with Charles sending him to a school run by you need to know is how to in English; given it because he 2. Was involved in an aborted 2. Godson of Tsar Nicholas II 2. Joined communist party, de Gualle Palace and published several bringing paperwork home real scientific papers monks; got expelled when he sign your name, read a with him then fascist party 3. Completely opposed to 3. Went to communist Russia Party in 1931, party had huge basically every action France to fashion all of his ideas and 3. Got a surprise birthday visit 4. Agreed to join the Axis, but as a military attache, bought Jewish population; party lost took between wars, felt they looked bizarre as a child Russian plan to invade China 3. Had his marriage legally 3. Founded Dutch Fascist stabbed another student newspaper, and mount a 2. First Japanese prince to 2. "I am just an ordinary man 3. Loved Mussolini and tried pre-WWI registered by Mussolini 2. Wrote a romance novel horse" leave Japan and visit Europe; with no shining talents" 3. Short career as a teacher 3. Only major leader during immediately played golf and 3. Kept trying to resign after style based on him by Hitler when he turned 75 refused to declare war on the lots of cheap art from most of its members after it would weaken it if Germany 4. Got kicked out of Italian both WWI and wWII bet on horse races (royalty he realized the war was lost; 4. Loved Thai traditions but 4. Refused to be president Soviet Union; still declared desperate people, sold it in became clear how antisemitic invaded again Socialist Party; invented 4. Had opportunity to just end was forbidden from directly Hirohito kept forcing him to wanted Thailand to look fascism right away; appointed handling money, so he told his stay until important generals civilized to the West; forced was forced to take job by due to age and bad health; "symbolic war" on Britain Norway Germany was; switched plans 4. After Germany invaded, French government dissolved itself and appointed him as fascism as a response 5. Spent entire war trying to 4. Nazis invaded Norway and to weakening resistance to a 5. Said the USA, Britain, and Mussolini prime minster aides to do it) wanted him removed everyone to wear Western government against his will avoid sending Jews to Hitler told king to appoint Quisling potential German invasion France were doomed because anyway because it meant of low birth rates, and that as prime minister, king said because she had a color-blind Roosevelt for not letting Japan instead of their hands (as was by Hitler when he turned 75 ideas, including sending them he'd rather abdicate 3. Almost didn't marry his wife 4. Blamed Theodore clothing and eat with forks 5. Got a surprise birthday visit by using increasingly insane 4. Tried to kidnap the Queen leader because he was the communists couldn't seize of the Netherlands most important person left in the USA would be overtaken control relative annex all of Siberia after the tradition) 6. Knew that Hitler hated to Palestine via Switzerland 5. Nazis didn't even want him, 5. Begged queen for clemency France; took office at 84 5. Sentenced to life in prison; by high-birth rate blacks 5. Had power to remove 4. Ate fried egg, sausage, Russo-Japanese War; hated 5. Favorite book was named smoking, so he lit a cigar right 6. Died of heart failure in but he was the only person in after Germany lost; was 6. Had no formal position; just Mussolini at any point; waited bacon, grilled tomato, and Americans afterward "Jews of the East," which was in front of him 1943, possibly poisoned the government who would refused died at 95 years old marched to Rome and told the until Americans reached Italy English tea for breakfast 5. Slapped people in the face about the Chinese minority 7. Ordered Finnish Jews to 6. Full name: Boris Klemens work with them 6. Tried to use his position as living in Thailand 5. Built golf course in palace because he thought it helped 6. Due to the way time zones 6. Met Dalai Lama; gave him Stanislaus Xavier king to appoint him as Prime because he was afraid people every day while giving them orders fight alongside Nazis Robert Maria Pius Ludwig 6. Norway abolished capital leader of France to make Minister; king obeyed wouldn't listen to him punishment in 1905; executed people go outdoors and hike 7. Did not hate Jews at all, 6. Declared Italy would join 6. Ordered civilians of Saipan train people not descended work, was invaded by Japan a pistol him anyway more often considered Italian Jews to just the Allies during WWII to commit suicide if the island from samurai both before and after the be normal Italians without telling any generals; was captured by Americans 6. Planned to annex Australia, attack on Pearl Harbor 8. Called the master race idea thousands of Italians were because he disliked the idea New Guinea, India, Pakistan, 7. Only Axis leader allowed to "nonsense, stupid, and idiotic" left in German-controlled of white people capturing Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, New regain power after WWII; 9. Was arrested and territory to die 7. Abdicated throne after Japanese civilians 7. Tried to convert Japan to Zealand, Alaska, Hawaii, Americans liked that he hated imprisoned in a ski resort British Colombia, Yukon, communism | 10. Extremely scared that wwIl to convince people not Christianity after defeat Washington state, Ecuador, people in the future would to vote the Italian Monarchy because he thought the all of Central America except think Hitler invented fascism out of existence; failed Americans would go easier on Mexico, Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti, instead of him fellow Christians; MacArthur all Southeast Asia, and Macau forced him not to Wackiness Quotient 60% 40% 50% 60% 60% 20% 20% 40% 30% 10%

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King of Udon

King of Udon

Apr 28, 2020 at 03:39PM EDT

"Aryan spirit possession"
"Morphine-addicted fashionista"
"Reviving Arthurian legend with gay jews"
"Military unit of children and the handicapped"
"Adopted just to get 'von' in name"
Did Hitler's insanity made him go looking for other insane people, or is that what Nazism does to people?

+38

ThiccLoli

ThiccLoli

Apr 28, 2020 at 03:11PM EDT

You can tell this is 95% /his/ because /pol/ would have tried to make them look good

+19

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