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File: 13697 (23 KB, 327x327, letmelickyou.jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: wqeZQyds) 05/28/13(Tue)13:59:11 No.483238418 Replies: 22483238858 >Console wars >E3 >Oh s--- Sony and Microsoft m----------- who's it going to be >Lights turn dark >Everyone is scared, hugs people, holds others >Feeling of excitement and fean >You hear thudding and the floor shakes >Thiscanonlybeonething.jpg Lights slowly come back on lts our lord and saviour >His infinitely chinned mouth opens to speak >It doesnt even matter what he's saying, people are stopping from touching themselves >Gurgles the words "xbox" and "playstation". Releases the world's most beautiful sound; the laughter of the one and only >Everyone is laughing now, tears are streaming down everyone's face. Microsoft and Sony employees dont know what the f--- they do, they get on their knees obeying the master >The lord reaches into his pocket, pulls out small device >F------ silence >everything is slow-motion, everyone's high >His lips slowly part, no one can believe it. >His deep beautiful voice announces next-gen orange box >Before sentence is finished everyone is masturbating >Guards are masturbating >Security is masturbating >People watching at home are masturbating >Sony and Microsoft are streaming tears of sorrow; also masturbating >He holds up one hand >The sound of flapping meat increases >One finger raised >Screams in the audience, someone fainted >Two fingers raised >People just cant stand, some pre-mature ejaculations, some just f------ blow the f--- up, blood, organs, j--- everywhere >He raises third finger >The entirety of the world has a collective orgasm. >Sony and Microsoft start blowing up their consoles at E3 in front of everyone >Some come up and kiss his feet and beg for forgiveness, he pretends they dont exist >Barely anyone is still standing, last few remaining strong audience members stare at him, lips drooling and oozing >Half Life 3, Portal 3, Team Fortress3 >Steambox. >Lights turn off again >No one knows what happened. No one is conscious >Thank you lord and s >Thank you aviour

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Uploaded by MScratch Jun 04, 2013 at 03:41PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Gabe Newell

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I forgot where I found this. Also, Gaben lost weight.
Case 2:21-cv-00563-JCC Document 200-8 Filed 03/12/24 Page 2 of 4 Message Scott Lynch 12/4/2018 1:10:45 AM Erik Johnson From: Sent: To: CC: Gabe Newell Subject: Re: You mad bro? -Scott On Dec 3, 2018, at 4:13 PM, Erik Johnson | wrote: From: Tim Sweeney Sent: Monday, December 3, 2018 4:13 PM To: Gabe Newell Subject: Re: Erik Johnson Ok, our announcement (below) is going live with tomorrow. The Epic Games store is launching Thursday at The Game Awards. Later this week, we'll be escalating a conversation with Apple in which an authoritarian government (not China) is demanding that either Epic alter Fortnite on iOS or Apple block it, and we'll be responding with a memo on the human rights principles that would be violated by either action. We'll be refusing and asking Apple to either continue to carrying Fortnite or to permit Epic to distribute it directly to customers through an Enterprise Certificate, and escalating as needed. Fortnite is consistently the top-grossing game on iOS. So, the question of open platforms and store economics will be foremost on Apple execs' minds this week. I believe the best outcome can be achieved if Apple speedily concludes that the combination of an app store monopoly and 30% fees is untenable, and that opening iOS up is the best stop-loss strategy. Right now, you assholes are telling the world that the strong and powerful get special terms, while 30% is for the little people. We're all in for a prolonged battle if Apple tries to keep their monopoly and 30% by cutting backroom deals with big publishers to keep them quiet. Why not give ALL developers a better deal? What better way is there to convince Apple quickly that their model is now totally untenable? -Tim Announcing the Epic Games Store By Tim Sweeney For the past five years, we've been building tools enabling Epic to bring our games directly to players. We built the Epic Games launcher on PC and Mac featuring Fortnite and Unreal Engine; we built a worldwide digital commerce ecosystem supporting dozens of payment methods; and we gained great economies of scale thanks to Fortnite's growth. As developers ourselves, we wanted two things: a store with fair economics, and a direct relationship with players. And we've heard that many of you want this too! HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL - ATTORNEY'S EYES ONLY Exhibit 0135 VALVE ANT_0059653
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Uploaded Jun 04, 2013 at 03:41PM EDT

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Gabe Newell

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