Two tweets from @dadsaysjokes

25 Corny Dad Jokes To Lighten The Morning Mood

Dad jokes are a wholesome type of jokes. They are the kinds of jokes that are simple, corny, usually involve a pun, and are definite winners amongst any crowd. Dad jokes are meant to be silly. They have very predictable punchlines and sometimes are labeled as anti-jokes for their pure corniness. That isn't to say that they aren't funny, because dad jokes can be absolutely hilarious. They are just also annoying and worthy of a head shake as well. Dad jokes are amongst some of the most elite jokes around, and they never get old and they never stop coming.

The Twitter user @dadsaysjokes is a great source for all of the best and freshest dad jokes there are. With that account, there will never be a short supply of dad jokes to tell at the next function. Here are 25 dad jokes and memes from @dadsaysjokes that will surely get a chuckle or a sigh out of someone today.

The Opposite

38 No. @DadSaysJokes > 0 iMessage Today 16:37 Did you eat the biscuits? I have a photo that says the opposite I The Opposite Read 16:37

(Source: Twitter)

Tons of Experience

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes In an interview the boss asked me "Do you have any experience?" P I told him "Yes, this is my 20th interview." 11:29 AM . Sep 5, 2023 25.3K Views 18 Reposts 214 Likes 6 Bookmarks 22 ↓ (→

(Source: Twitter)

Darn Laptops

Hard drive? Sorry I was late, I was having computer problems No the commute was okay. My laptop is the issue.

(Source: Twitter)

Fair Enough

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes I said 'Not at all' I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?' He said 'Kiss?' P I said 'Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel'. 10:23 AM . Sep 4, 2023 82.3K Views 39 Reposts 4 Quotes 607 Likes 13 Bookmarks 22 : (→

(Source: Twitter)

Bros

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Bros don't let other bros walk around with an open fly. P It's called the zip code. 10:20 AM. Sep 4, 2023 66.5K Views 45 Reposts 2 Quotes 494 Likes 7 Bookmarks 27 (→ :

(Source: Twitter)

Get It

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Das a foot P EDWIN 8:04 AM - Sep 4, 2023 137.7K Views 151 Reposts 8 Quotes ● 1,214 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 口 PURIFIED WATER WITH MINERALS FOR APART FROM TH DA AN 0 plan butte 20 FL 02 (1.25 PT) 591 Lieberpetion ↑ ... :

(Source: Twitter)

Tragic

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My balloon elephant wouldn't fit on the back seat of the car. So I had to pop the trunk. 12:38 PM. Sep 3, 2023 101.8K Views • 25 Reposts 1 Quote 430 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 ↑ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Hmm?

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume? P Me: That's when I went to Yale. Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired. Me: Thanks. I really need this yob. 9:36 AM - Sep 3, 2023 217.7K Views 126 Reposts 12 Quotes 1,462 Likes 41 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ : ...

(Source: Twitter)

Mini Soda

Big Burger pepsi Big Soda Mini Burger

(Source: Twitter)

More Comfortable That Way

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it's because I can't stand doing it. 5:00 PM. Sep 1, 2023 96.2K Views 67 Reposts 2 Quotes 886 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Unbelievable

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I went to the doctor and said I've got ear ache, inflamed sinuses, conjunctivitis and headaches, but he was dismissive... He told me, "It's all in your head." 9:06 AM Sep 1, 2023.91K Views 52 Reposts 3 Quotes 747 Likes 14 Bookmarks 22 □ ↑ :

(Source: Twitter)

Huge Wave

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P What's the opposite of a microwave? A tsunami. 8:17 AM Sep 1, 2023 86.9K Views 100 Reposts 3 Quotes 878 Likes 31 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑

(Source: Twitter)

One Day

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. I'm sure he'll come around, eventually. 5:09 PM . Aug 31, 2023 138.5K Views 158 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,594 Likes 29 Bookmarks 12 Q ←] :

(Source: Twitter)

So Unfair

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes In my last job my wages were paid in vegetables. I left because i was unhappy with the celery. 10:31 AM . Sep 5, 2023 45.6K Views 30 Reposts P Quotes 269 Likes 5 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑

(Source: Twitter)

This Is Ruthless

38 We split up. @DadSaysJokes > iMessage Today 12:21 0 How're you and Ruth? Oh no. So you're ruthless? How long have you been waiting for that one? I'd rather not say. Read 12:21

(Source: Twitter)

It's on the Tip of My Tongue

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce. She asked what's so special about it. It's hard to say, I answered. 4:35 PM. Sep 4, 2023 92.2K Views 40 Reposts 2 Quotes 443 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 (→ : ...

(Source: Twitter)

Poor Dog

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P My wife called me at the bar. Said if I was not home in ten minutes, she was feeding my dinner to the dog, I was home in five. I love that dog too much to see harm come to him. 4:32 PM. Sep 4, 2023 96.3K Views 33 Reposts 553 Likes 6 Bookmarks 22 R Σ (→ ...

(Source: Twitter)

A Parent

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes When does a joke become a dad joke? P When it becomes apparent. 4:31 PM Sep 4, 2023 98.2K Views 82 Reposts 8 Quotes 783 Likes 22 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑

(Source: Twitter)

Boing

How do you make a water bed more bouncy? How? Add spring water

(Source: Twitter)

Not Even a Semicolon

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes Doctor: I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. Me Why? 3:20 PM. Aug 31, 2023 102.5K Views 80 Reposts 7 Quotes 751 Likes 8 Bookmarks 27 □ (→ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Just a Pinch

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake. P I took his advice with a pinch of salt. 3:17 PM. Aug 31, 2023 99.2K Views 63 Reposts 3 Quotes 819 Likes 19 Bookmarks 27 □ 소 :

(Source: Twitter)

No Even Jobs

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes P I hired a handyman and gave him a to-do list. When I got home only items 1, 3, and 5 got done. Turns out he only does odd jobs. 10:36 AM. Aug 31, 2023 126.4K Views 120 Reposts 8 Quotes 1,385 Likes 30 Bookmarks 17 □ (→ ...

(Source: Twitter)

Sorry

Why do you never take me out to dinner? I don't go out with married But I'm your wife! women @DadSaysJokes I make no exceptions, sorry!

(Source: Twitter)

Special

66 Yes, please. 66 Do you want to hear today's special? 99 66 No problem sir. Today is special.

(Source: Twitter)

Unfortunately

Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes If lightning strikes an orchestra, who's most likely to get hit? P The conductor. 5:11 PM. Aug 30, 2023 112.5K Views 126 Reposts . 8 Quotes 970 Likes 28 Bookmarks 27 □ ↑ ... :

(Source: Twitter)




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