Let's post so bad its good writing! Fanfiction, self-published, bad translations, etc. I'll start with a line from Amanda Ros(late 1800s) who some consider the worst writer of all time:
Amanda McKittrick Ros
More Ros
"Speak! Irene! Wife! Woman! Do not sit in silence and allow
the blood that now boils in my veins to ooze through
cavities of unrestrained passion and trickle down to drench me
with its crimson hue!"
Ros refers to pants as "Southern necessary", people don't blush, they are "touched by the hot hand of bewilderment"; and breasts are called "lactose engorged orbs of enjoymentastical funliness."
She has a very funny cult following behind her :P