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Sit your asses down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important oldfags than you to see, because I happen to be a Conversationalist and we Conversationalists have a tendency to be very busy and important people. If you’re out there in the folding chairs, that means that you're the new guys. Bottom of the totem pole. But, it also means that you passed the entrance exams. Welcome to the KYM moderation team. From this moment onward, your job is very, very simple: you are going to Deadpool Memes and lock threads.

In the face.

You will deadpool memes and lock threads. When not deadpooling memes, you will be planning on locking threads. You will be developing new ways to lock threads. You will read about deadpooling memes. You will write about deadpooling memes. You will study locking threads. You will dream about locking threads. You will ban the newfag. You will collect and contain newfags, then lock their crappy entries and delete their crap-tier threads

Locking threads is your life.

You may be asking yourself “Self, how am I to deadpool these memes?” With your fists.

And you may ask yourself “Self, what if I am bitten by a newfag? I am unsure of what to do.” Go see an oldfag.

And you may say to yourself “Self, my threads have become noob-like, in the sense that they have all turned into deadpools!” Good, now start punching them.

It’s an important job, mark my words. There are people out there, many people who just don’t understand why. They don’t realize how important our job is. You will be challenged, you will be mocked, you will be insulted, but you cannot lose sight of the goal: your keyboard buzzing with the sounds of "+1 deadpool".

Several years ago, a former employee asked me “Why do we lock threads?” You know what I said to him?

“Sir, do you hate science? Are you a science-hating newfag-hugger? Do you approve of the non-science newfag agenda?" He said no, he wasn’t.

I punched him the face anyway, because he was clearly a closet newfag. Because that’s what we fucking do at KYM.

When you all came in here, there was a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of Locking Threads on your chair. You are all to have read that by the time you report in tomorrow morning. Now get out of here. Those threads aren’t going to punch themselves.

Because they don’t have hands.

<div class = "spoiler"> Original: http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/10-30-a-m

excellent

we can't have all the non conversationalist running around believing they are something
now can we?

Do we really need the exact same thread.

What are you, some kind of NEWFAG in a CONVERSATIONALISTS skin!? GET YOUR UGLY FELINE NEWFAG FACE OUT OF HERE, YOU TRAITOROUS PIG!

sting_auer wrote:

When you all came in here, there was a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of Locking Threads on your chair. You are all to have read that by the time you report in tomorrow morning. Now get out of here. Those threads aren’t going to punch themselves.

"If deadpooling is sure to result in victory, then you must deadpool!" Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about locking threads than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it, so that no living man could best him in the ring of deadpool! Then he used these skills to find every newfag! And then he gathered them in a giant-sized kiddie pool to emphasize their newfagness, and then he beat the crap out of every single one!
And from that day forward any time an entry created by newfags gets submitted and rejected it's called a deadpool!
UNLESS IT'S A THREAD!

Is confirming memes a part of our job?

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, SOME KIND OF +1 CONFIRM NEWFAG!? GET YOUR KEISTER IN MY OFFICE NOW BEFORE I GO DOWN THERE AND PUMMEL YOU WITH MY CIGAR.

And no, Horseradish not a +1 deadpool.

Since I can't find an unlocked version of this, then this is perfectly in order.
If stupid.

This was funny. Needs more grotan

BAM! TO BEHOLD, A PUBLIC BULLETIN BOARD, BUILT OF BOTH BRILLIANCE AND BARBARITY BY BASTARDS WITH BONERS. THIS BASTION, NO MERE BULWARK OF BOREDOM, IS A BRUTAL BARRAGE OF BLISTERING BULLSHIT, BARELY BENEVOLENT… BUT BEHIND THE BIGOTRY AND BOOBS, BEYOND THE BITTER BROADCASTS OF BRAGGING BUFFOONS: HERE BE THE BODY POLITIC. A BROTHERHOOD OF BLASPHEMY, BLESSED WITH MORE BALLS THAN BRAINS, BATTLING THE BLAND, THE BOGUS, THE BENIGN. BEDLAM? BRING IT ON. BUT I BABBLE… BETTER TO BE BRIEF. YOU MAY CALL ME KYM

WHAT KIND OF A DEADPOOLER ARE YOU!? USING FANCY WORDS N' SHIZ. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE AND GET BACK TO BITING NEWFAGS ON THE ELBOW.

Ahem.

Son, you listen here, and you listen well. I don't have time to be wasting on useless piles of scum like you. Now, you can either get back to work researching and deadpooling memes, and crushing the hopes of all those stupid noobs, or you can continue posting your sexualized horses and naked animal people.

Capiche?

Now get out of my sight.

SIR! I want to help the cause, but I'm just a lowly Commentator!

WHAT CAN I DO, SIR?!

WELL BOYS, IT LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES A MAN.

Listen up Mack, you're the first real man to come up and ask for help. Real men always ask for help, That's why I'm asking you to help me help you BE A MAN.

You will FIND NEWFAGS and you will PUNCH THEIR TEETH OUT.

Do not allow the poorly-written entries to cloud your mind.

Deadpool DEADPOOL DEADPOOOOOOOL their forced memes! TOGETHER, WE CAN FIGHT IDIOCY!

FOR AMERICA!

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for fucks, I can tell you I don't have any to give. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over the Internet. Skills that make me a nightmare for deadpooling people like you. If you give me KRAMAS now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will bite your elbow.