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Hurt/Heal Gaiden: A Cliché Title

Last posted May 18, 2013 at 12:40AM EDT. Added May 02, 2013 at 06:08PM EDT
516 posts from 30 users

KILL JOTARO

Barkley kicks Jotaro in the groin as Kujo dies. Mercury looks at Barkley as he tells him to fight like a man.

1. Freddie Mercury -43
2. Charles Barkley -29
3. Jotaro Kujo -0
4. Jim Raynor -0
5. Solaire of Astora -0
6. Kenshiro -0
7. Old Dante -0
8. Ash Williams -0
9. New Dante -0
10. Goku -0
11. Dio Brando -0
12. Merasmus -0
13. Superman -0
14. Gordon Ramsay -0
15. Slenderman -0

Last edited May 16, 2013 at 03:22AM EDT

Mercury mounts his trusty steed: a jet propelled winged polar bear that wears aviators. He jets past Barkley and smashes him in the face with a keytar which releases an explosion of rainbows. Barkley is thrown back in a haze of blood, stars and colors

Hurt Barkley

Hurt Freddie

1. Freddie Mercury -37
2. Charles Barkley -23
3. Jotaro Kujo -0
4. Jim Raynor -0
5. Solaire of Astora -0
6. Kenshiro -0
7. Old Dante -0
8. Ash Williams -0
9. New Dante -0
10. Goku -0
11. Dio Brando -0
12. Merasmus -0
13. Superman -0
14. Gordon Ramsay -0
15. Slenderman -0

Foolish Chowz. No man can stand up to Freddies mustache

The skies open up and a magical golden guitar descends from a gleaming rainbow while the first Queen album sounds across the heavens. Freddy reaches out and arms himself with the magical instrument

With a mighty golden swing of the guitar, Freddy smashes barkley across the distance of a football field, leaving behind a glittering trail. The most awesome guitar strum heard by man executes at the same time and the earth trembles before it.

Hurt Barkley

Charles stands up and dons his Laker uniform. The entire Laker team and cheerleading squad arrive to cheer Barkley on. Barkley grabs Mercury and slam dunks him through 100 flaming basketball rims.

Hurt Mercury

chowzburgerz wrote:

Should I rule that as a Hurt Barkley post?

Yes

Freddy lifts up the limo from underneath it using his mustache alone. Then with a fabulous pose

He launches the limo across the street. The airbags do little to cushion the blow to Charles

Hurt Barkley

Barkley notices that Mercury is playing an acoustic guitar. He plays an electric guitar and stands on a rockin stage. As a he summons the LA Lakers to tackle Mercury.

Hurt Freddie

Freddy executes the ancient art of Fab-ju-jitsu-lous to thwart his attackers with dual wielded guitars with expert precision and skill. Each guitar strike is so powerful that it warps the surrounding scenery to that of a typical anime background action scene.

Each Laker receives an acoustic guitar smashed over their heads, splintering wood in all directions. And each time that happens, a shark and a gorilla do a high five. Luchadores riding giant butterflies fly overhead and airdrop new guitars to the ground for Freddy to use. Freddy turns to them and salutes

Hurt Barkley

Freddy uses a wicked dance move to evade the crashing butterfly. He then he jumps on the back of the butterfly and steers it back into action. The butterfly soars back into the sky and towards the sunset with Freddy riding on it's back like a surfboard all the while singing Bohemian Rhapsody into a microphone

"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?"

Barkley loses sight of Freddy in the sunlight, but then suddenly the butterfly returns, diving straight at Barkley. Freddy is on top, swinging the microphone around by it's cable as if it were a lasso.

As the butterfly swoops past, Freddy lasso's Barkley with the microphone and drags him across the ground

Hurt Barkley

The WBC inflict critical damage on Freddy by actually managing to stop him now and preventing him from having a good time, lest they sue. The WBC ruin everything that way.

Freddy decides to summon backup. He plays a special note on a guitar that sends out a beacon. Moments later, the rest of the band members of Queen descend from the heavens on robot unicorns. Upon landing, the fully assembled Queen deploys their instruments and they begin playing their first album live before the WBC.

Upon hearing Queen play live, the WBC drop their pickets, renounce their hatred of gays, vow to become hippies and begin dancing to the music. Their picket signs also magically turn into Queen posters

Hurt Barkley

Last edited May 17, 2013 at 04:45AM EDT

Hurt Barkley

1. Freddie Mercury -29
2. Charles Barkley -10
3. Jotaro Kujo -0
4. Jim Raynor -0
5. Solaire of Astora -0
6. Kenshiro -0
7. Old Dante -0
8. Ash Williams -0
9. New Dante -0
10. Goku -0
11. Dio Brando -0
12. Merasmus -0
13. Superman -0
14. Gordon Ramsay -0
15. Slenderman -0

Last edited May 17, 2013 at 05:39AM EDT

TheOpt1onal (Dead memes) wrote:

After such epicness from the WBC party, The other members of Queen leave Freddie on earth, as they re-ascend to the rock heavens with Pete Townshend and Kurt Cobain on gold-plated hot-air balloons.

TL;DR

Heal Freddie

You can't heal in sudden death so this will count as a hurt Barkley post.

Anyways, Charles Barkley is now limping and feels so much pain. Barkley calls every athlete from LA as they form into giant basketball player with Barkley in the center. The giant basketball player runs up to Mecury and squishes him 100 times.

Hurt Mercury

Skeletor-sm

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